Right vs Wrong
by ILikeReading
Summary: Edward had always watched over Bella.  Bella had always looked up to Edward.  So what happens when their platonic relationship turns in to utter chaos once they both realize they've fallen for each other?  Will they act before it's too late? "Drabbleish".
1. Chapter 1

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Thanksgiving Day<strong>

"Hey baby, how come you're not eating much?"

"I don't have much of an appetite," I reply, hoping he'll drop the subject.

But of course he doesn't. He's too observant for his own good. "Is something wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?"

"I don't know. You just haven't been acting like yourself this evening."

"I'm just out of it."

"Are you sick?"

"No…" _Not in the way you think, at least_.

"Is something bothering you?"

Might as well be _somewhat _honest. At least I won't feel as guilty. "Yes."

I hear a faint gasp from across the room. I know who it's coming from.

"What is it?"

"I'm just thinking about one of my friends." _My _best _friend_.

"Oh? Who? Jessica?"

_I wish_. "I don't wanna talk about it right now. It's not really the right time to discuss it."

"Hmmm, okay." He looks at me for several seconds, contemplating. For some reason, he looks nervous. His face starts to flush and his breathing accelerates.

His reaction puts me on edge. What is wrong with him? Could he possibly know?" _Shit_.

"Well…" he says in a shaky voice, "I might have something that will cheer you up."

Confused, I arch my eyebrows. He reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a jewelry box.

_Oh no…oh no, oh _no…

Before I know it, he's kneeling down on one knee. There's nowhere for me to turn…nowhere for me to go. I want to be anywhere but here. "Isabella Swan, I love you with all my heart. You're my life, my everything…I can't picture my world without you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and marrying me?"

Tears stream down my face. And it's not because I'm overwhelmed with joy and happiness. It's caused by my aching…the hurt in my chest. I'm overcome with sadness, anger and regret…I do not deserve this man.

I know my full attention should be focused on him, but I can't help but scan the room full of family and friends. I act like I care about each of their expressions, but there's really only one person I'm concerned about. When I finally meet his green eyes, I see the sadness and hurt I feel inside.

There's only one thing left for me to do. And I know the answer Edward would want me to give.

"Yes."


	2. Chapter 2

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Everyone in the room is awestruck, their hands covering their chests and mouths. I hear sniffles and gasps, some "awww"'s and "It's about time!"'s. Obviously, no one saw this coming.<p>

I can't look at Edward. I just can't.

Without a doubt, it would give me away.

Jacob's ecstatic, flashing his perfect smile. "Oh Bella, I love you so much." He cups my face and kisses my lips softly, tenderly. I can't help but wish they were Edward's lips instead.

"I'm the happiest man alive," he beams.

"So am I."

"Since when have you become a man, Bells?" he laughs.

I blush. "Oh…ummm…oops."

"You silly thing." He kisses me again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

**A/N**: The first two "chapters" (I like to call them "chaplets" since they're short in length, lol) serve as a prologue. Everything from here on out leads up to it, and will resume after.

* * *

><p><strong>Fifteen Years Earlier (September, 1996)<strong>

Growing up, I'd always seeked Edward Cullen's approval. There was no reason for me to, really. We didn't have the same circle of friends, attend the same classes. We were just next door neighbors.

Edward was five years my senior. Perhaps that's why I always wanted him to like me so much. He was older. Smart. Confident. He knew it all. He was _cool_.

And, he was _insanely_ gorgeous.

"Hey, short stuff." In typical Edward fashion, he ruffles my hair in greeting as he strides in to the living room, where Charlie's comfortably settled on his recliner chair. "Good afternoon, Mister Swan. I'm here to pick up Bella."

Charlie nods his head in acknowledgement. "Hi, Edward. Thanks for your help." He shuts off the television with the remote control and stands up. He looks spent, exhausted. Heavy circles reside beneath his bloodshot eyes, and his eyelids are puffy. _He's been crying some more_. "I'll try to make it back as soon as possible."

"It's no problem, sir. Take all the time you need. Bella will have fun with me and my family, right?" he looks down at me and smiles, squeezing my shoulder. I nod my head in agreement.


	4. Chapter 4

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

**A/N: **I made a couple changes to the previous chaplet. The yr.'s been changed from 2001 to 1996, and the E/B age gap is no longer three, but five. I apologize, but it just made more sense for me to do this. You'll see why if you stick around. :)

* * *

><p>I enter the living room. Overwhelmed with an aroma that's all too familiar in the Cullen residence, I inhale deeply before releasing my backpack on to the floor.<p>

That smell only means one thing. Edward's mother is home, baking.

"Esme?"

I dart towards the kitchen.

"Bella, honey! You're here!"

I lunge myself at her and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, _squeeeze_. I adore this woman. I haven't seen her in days.

Laughing, she pulls me back and examines me, her eyes twinkling with delight and amusement.

"Young lady, you are growing up _way_ too fast for your own good. Stop it!"

Edward's standing at the doorway. His lips quiver and his eyes look glassy.


	5. Chapter 5

SM owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I freeze. I've never seen Edward cry. Ever.<p>

His expression morphs immediately from sadness to fury. He's obviously upset that I caught him in such a vulnerable moment.

He storms away abruptly, exaggerating each of his steps with a loud _thump_. It causes the floor to quake- a reflection of his anger.

I stare at Esme wide eyed.

"Don't worry about Edward, Bella. He's just being a teenager. I told you how they can be, getting upset over nothing."

She doesn't sound too convincing.

I fight back tears. Not only have I never seen Edward cry; I've never seen him so _angry_, either. And it's all because of me.

So much for having fun.


	6. Chapter 6

SM owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Since Edward's mad at me, I busy myself by reading <em>The Boxcar Children <em>series.

Less than an hour later, he approaches me. He's no longer mad. He looks…remorseful. Ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to be such a jerk."

"'s okay."

It doesn't escape my notice that his eyes are puffy and bloodshot, just like Charlie's was when we left my house. Why does he look so sad? Surely, his outburst couldn't have made him _that _upset.

He pulls me towards him and hugs me tightly. It startles me, but I don't complain. I love seeing this side of Edward. This is the Edward I long to see, the Edward I don't see often enough. It's moments like these I embrace and store in my memory, because I worry that one day, this side of him may fade away.

I sigh in to his arms. I'm home.


	7. Chapter 7

SM owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward gives me a piggy back ride up to his room.<p>

He lowers me on to his bed. I splay out my arms and legs.

Edward turns on the radio. Per my request, one of my favorite songs, "Smells Like Teen Spirit," fills the comfortable silence. I tilt my feet to the rhythm and mouth the lyrics.

"You are one interesting eight year old, Bella. Only _you _would rather listen to Nirvana than Michael Jackson or some other poppy artist."

I shrug my shoulders. Whatever. It's Edward's fault- he's the one that exposed me to the song.

Despite the loud, ragey sound the song reverberates, I'm comfortable. Content. I gaze at the ceiling, my mind completely clear of thoughts I don't want to ever think of.

Unfortunately, that inner peace is shortly lived.

Catching me completely off guard, Edward launches at me and tickles my stomach. He lifts up my shirt slightly, grasping bare skin. I plead with him to stop in between breaths, but he shows no mercy.

"Edward!" I gasp. "Stop!" Gasp.

After what seems like forever, he _finally_ listens. He pulls away, wearing the hugest smirk on his face. I'm panting, trying to catch my breath. My entire body is flushed, my eyes wet and face sticky from tears. _Jerk_.

"I'm sorry Bella, I just have too much fun with you."

His laugh is carefree, and I can't help but smile at the melodic sound. As much as I want to, I can't stay mad at him. I like seeing him happy.

And just like that, I forgive him.

"So, how about I read you that book you were reading?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I won't be staying at this time frame much longer, I just want you all to get a feel for how their relationship has evolved over the years.


	8. Chapter 8

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward starts to read from my book, and his voice is like music to my ears. It always has been. Always will be. Charlie once told me that when I was a baby, Edward used to read to me. It was his way of proving to everyone that he was becoming a big boy, something he was extremely proud of.<p>

_Show off_.

I'm so relaxed, my eyelids start to feel heavy.

I try to fight off the drowsiness, but it's senseless. When Edward runs his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp, I fall in deeper.

I'm slipping…slipping…slipping.

He stops reading. He puts the book down and takes a small section of my hair.

He starts braiding. That's all it takes for me to slip under.

I fall asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Hours later, the sound of heavy sobs wakens me from my sleep. The sound seems to be coming from the living room.<p>

Edward's still knocked out. His arm is hovering over my chest, so I'm unable to move.

I wish I don't have to wake him- he looks so peaceful, so innocent…but I must. I need to know what's going on. It probably has to do with my mother.

But I push that thought aside for the moment. I need to get out of this bed first. Before I panic.

"Edward, wake up." I tug at his earlobe.

With half open eyes, he stifles a yawn.

"What-"

And then he freezes. The sobbing reaches his ears.

"_Shit!_"

Now highly alert, he picks me up and carries me downstairs with such urgency my head spins. Through his shirt, I can feel his heart beating furiously.

Esme's on the phone. Her face is streaked with tears. Carlisle, Edward's father, is with her, and his left hand is rubbing her back. He's shedding tears, too.

She meets my eyes, and I know I'm in for bad news.


	10. Chapter 10

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Baby, your mother's not coming back. She's gone."<p>

Those were the last words I remember hearing. Everything after that was a blur.

Muffled sounds now fill the air. People are talking, but it's all in one ear, out the other. I can barely see what's in front of me- I'm so dizzy. Everything is spinning around in circles.

I'm at a loss for words. What is there for me to say? What is there for me to do? Renee's no longer in my life. I won't be seeing her sparkling green eyes anymore. Nor will I be able to hear the sweet melody of her carefree laugh…be in the presence of her free, unyielding spirit.

And then it hits me. I'm gonna be an eight year old girl without a mother. No brothers, no sisters. It's just my father and me now. I can't believe it.

My lips quiver. I'm about to burst.

Edward's form stands right before me. I can spot that wild, untamed hair anywhere, no matter how messed up I may be. His arms wrap around me and everything comes spilling out. I cry like I've never cried before. Sobs. Tears. Hiccups. Snot. I don't know how long I've been at it, but his shirt is now completely ruined. He doesn't say or do anything about it, though. His hold on me is still firm.

"It's okay, Bella. We're here for you. We love you. _I _love you."

It's at that moment that I truly realize I can't picture my life without him. Edward's my source of strength. He helps me let go, helps me express myself openly. Lord knows that if it weren't for him, I'd be hiding within myself this very moment. I need him now, more than ever.

"Thank you. I love you too, Edward."

And I continue to cry in to oblivion.


	11. Chapter 11

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

**A/N: **Okay, so after this, I think it's time to fast forward a bit, yes? :)

* * *

><p>Everyone tries to cheer me up for my birthday, but it's pointless. The woman who gave me life is no longer a part of it. So really, why celebrate?<p>

Ironically, the day she left us all behind just so happens to be the day before my birthday.

So, yeah. Sue me if I don't feel like celebrating.

Charlie made it back to Forks in the wee hours of the morning. When he finally takes me back home later in the afternoon, I see that he brought me flowers, some new clothes, and a birthday card.

_So sweet of him, but why in the hell would he have spent time at the store to buy me _clothes?

When I open the birthday card, I immediately recognize Renee's handwriting. It's her last message. To me. It's sloppier than its usual sloppiness. It seems like her hand must have been shaking while she was writing it.

I put the card down without reading it. I can't do it right now. I'm not ready.

"Bells, are you okay?" Charlie asks, his voice quivering.

_How in the hell could I be _okay_? _I want to shout at Charlie. But I don't.

"No."

My body feels blank. Vacant. Numb.

A couple hours later, The Cullens and a few other family friends in the Black and Clearwater families come over. The gathering is uneventful. There's cake, food, drinks, random conversations. And of course, occasional tears. Can't forget those. They're unavoidable.

One of the _very_ few good things about today is that I get to spend time with a couple of my favorite people. Edward, of course, and Jacob Black. I've known Jacob for nearly as long as I've known Edward. Unfortunately, they don't get along. Never have, and probably never will.

They've been at each other's throats all afternoon.

"Bella, do you want to see what I got you?" Edward asks after I've eaten my last bite of cake.

"No, she wants to see _my_ gift first!"

"Is your name Bella, _Jacob_?" He sneers his name, full of venom, as if it were a curse. If I weren't so depressed, I'd probably laugh.

"Whatever. I know she wants to see mine first." Jacob turns to me. "Right, Bella? You don't want to see what old Eddie got you first. It's probably something boring." He snorts.

Edward grits his teeth. "It's _Edward_."

"Whatever."

"Jacob, stop being mean!" I chastise.

I reach for Edward's gift. "I'm opening _Edward's _first."

I'm about to rip the off the wrapping paper but stop abruptly when I hear Jacob crying. Edward's hand grabs a hold of my wrist.

"It's okay, Bella. Open Jacob's gift first."


	12. Chapter 12

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>October 2000<strong>

If I could only use one word to describe Edward's first girlfriend, it'd be this- _bitch_.

Tanya Denali is a true, uber _bitch_. All it takes is our first meeting to know she isn't good enough for Edward.

Blue eyes. Strawberry blonde hair. Tall and skinny. She's fake. Plastic. What does Edward see in her? I don't get it.

She disgusts me.

And I make no effort to hide my distaste towards her.

"Hi, Bella," she says all too sweetly. "I'm so glad to finally meet you."

_Yeah, well, unfortunately, the feeling's not mutual_. "Hi," I say in a clipped tone.

There's a moment of awkward silence. "Edward's told me a lot about you."

"Oh really?" I sound like I'm bored. Sarcastic. I sound like a smartass. And I don't care.

Her eyes narrow. She doesn't like my attitude. _That's right, bitch. Show your true colors_. "Yeah."

"Well, that's nice." I shrug. I turn around. I'm done with our conversation.

_Sorry Edward, but you always told me to stay true to myself. And I am. I'm not going to act like I like her, because I don't._

"Bella?" She calls.

I stop and turn my head. I arch my brow.

"See you around." She gives me a sly smile.


	13. Chapter 13

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward and the bitch have been together for three months now. They make me sick. Whenever we're all together, she makes a show of how Edward is <em>hers<em>. Giggly, flirty...clinging on to him like she's second skin. It's disgusting. Sometimes it's so bad, Edward has to pry her off.

With each passing day, my animosity towards Tanya increases, and I still don't bother to hide it.

"How come you don't like Tanya, Bella?" Edward asks me one day.

I roll my eyes. "Have you _seen _the way she's all over you?"

"I know…and I'm sorry for that. I tell her to stop but she doesn't listen." His face is apologetic, sincere, and I can't help but feel bad for him. I would hate to be in his position. Perhaps I could try to make it easier for him and be nicer, but I just can't picture myself doing it. It's practically instinct for me to be mean towards Tanya at this point, I've been around her for so long.

"But other than that, are there other reasons why you don't like her?"

"I don't know. I just don't."

"There has to be a reason, Bella. I know you. Why?"

_Because she's evil. Because she tries to manipulate you, and you fall for it most of the time. Because you deserve better than her. _

"I just don't."

"You said that already," he says, irritated. "That's not good enough of an explanation. I know there's more."

Damnit. Why does he have to be so perceptive?

"Well that's all I've got. What do you want me to say, _Edward_?"

"The truth."

"Well you've got it." _Not really._ "So can we drop it?"

"Whatever."

Edward walks away and I feel like crap. _Damnit_. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't feel guilty for how I acted. But it's Edward, so I do.

I follow after him. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Sorry for…?"

"Being an ass."

His face softens and he gives me a crooked smile. "It's okay." He forgives me too easily, just like how I've always forgiven him. We're awful.

"So, you want to know the truth?"

He nods his head and I tell him everything. I tell him how she's acted towards me when he's not around. I tell him how _I've _acted towards her when he's not around. Edward and I have always been honest with each other, never sugar coating, and I'd be _damned _if that Denali bitch interferes with that.

"Wow. I didn't realize…" his voice trails off once I'm done. He appears to be at a loss for words.

"Yeah."

"So she actually told you that shit? That I eat her out every chance I get?"

"Yes."

"_What the fuck?_"

"Yeah, she's disgusting Edward. Even if it's true, I don't need to know that shit."

He smirks at my cussing. It's his fault, and he knows it.

He pauses for a moment, and suddenly he looks _furious_. "Hold on a second. Did she tell you what _eating out _is? I don't recall ever telling you about it." He shudders. "Oh my gosh, that would make me such a perv."

"Yeah. She told me what _eating out _is."

"_What the fuck?_" he says again, his face heating up. "Well, if it eases your mind any, I _haven't_. She doesn't need to tell you that crap. I don't want her corrupting your mind."

I roll my eyes. "Like _you _don't."

The corner of his mouth tilts up and he laughs. "Touche." He continues after a moment. "I'm really sorry about that, Bella. I'm gonna talk to her about this."

By the end of the week, they break up.


	14. Chapter 14

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>June, 2001<strong>

Edward's graduating. He's going to leave me behind in a few months.

The thought causes my eyes to moisten with unshed tears.

I shake my head to clear my mind. I'm not going to think about that right now. Right now is not the time to mourn, to wallow in the inevitable. There will be plenty of time for that once he's gone. For now, I just need to make the most out of the last few months I have with my best friend, while he's still down here in Forks.

Deep down, I know he's not going to return.

I'm not naïve.

Sure, Edward will make the occasional visit for the holidays, family and friends, but other than that, he's not going to _live _here again. He's got much more to offer the world. And he won't be able to give what he's got by staying in Forks. I'm aware of that fact.

But what am I going to do without him? What am I going to do without the guy who's been by my side my entire life? The guy that's been there for me, no questions asked? The guy who…no…the _man _who has taught me everything I need to know about life? The man who has made me stronger and the person I am today?

_Now is not the time to think about that_, I chant to myself inside my head. _Now is not the time_.

He receives his diploma, and he's wearing the hugest smile I've ever seen. It's so huge, in fact, that his crooked smile is almost actually _straight_.

Wow, that's a first.

The sight causes my heart to melt, and my eyes start to moisten once again. I'm happy for him. I really am. I'm just going to miss my best friend.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Okay, ummm...oops. Welcome to the longest chaplet! This is sounding less and less like a drabble fic, huh? The words just came pouring out, I couldn't help it. Let me know what you think!

If you'd like, you can follow me on Twitter: MeLikesToRead

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's the night before Edward has to leave for the University of Washington. All of his things are already packed, ready to go.<p>

Basically, all he needs to do tomorrow morning is shower, wear a new set of clothes, and he's off.

He and I are in my room. There's a tense silence between us. I'm afraid to say something in fear that I'll break down, and Edward won't speak up because…well…I don't know. He just won't.

For the first time, he looks older than his age. There's usually a positive, vibrant aura I feed off of whenever I'm around him, but it's not there tonight. It's strange. I'm actually _uncomfortable_ with him, and I don't like that feeling at all. It's _Edward_, for crying out loud.

"Are you going to miss me?" _Finally, he speaks_.

"Of _course _I'm gonna miss you. What kind of a question is _that_?" I try to keep my tone light, despite the fact that the question makes my heart break. How could he _possibly_ question me about _that_?

The side of his mouth subtly tilts upward. "Just making sure. You never know."

"Well, now you do."

After a few seconds, he speaks again. "I'm going to miss you, too."

"You better. Otherwise, I'll break in to your room and steal all those vinyl records you're leaving behind."

Amused, his green eyes finally brighten. "You better not!"

Challenging him, I arch one of my eyebrows up and cross my arms exaggeratedly. "And what about if I do?"

"Then I'll come down here immediately and punish you."

I scoff. "What the hell could you do to punish _me_?"

He looks mischievous. Oh boy, this is not good. I haven't seen him wear that facial expression in quite some time. "I'm gonna…_tickle you_!"

He pins me down on my bed and tickles me like there's no tomorrow. I'm squirming, fighting, screeching, crying, yelling beneath him, but he won't stop. He's laughing, laughing so hard that even _he _has tears in his eyes.

After he stops, he pulls back and wipes his eyes with the palms of his hands. But I notice that the tears don't stop running. They're practically flowing nonstop, even. They _cannot_ be tears from laughter.

Still trying to compose myself, I ask, "Edward, are you okay?"

He shakes his head. He looks lost. Confused. "I don't know. I'm going to miss everyone here. I'm going to be all alone."

Once again, my heart breaks. But I can't show him that. I need to be strong for the both of us right now. "Edward, you'll be fine. A few of your friends are going to U-Dub too, right? You're not gonna be alone."

"But I'll miss my family and other friends. And of course, _you_. What am I gonna do without my little Bella?"

"Hey, I'm not _that _little," I huff. "I'm all grown up now."

Edward smirks. "Bella, you just turned thirteen."

"Yeah, but I'm a teenager now."

"So you are."

"Yep." I pop my "p".

He rolls his eyes and groans. "How am I supposed to watch over you now? Boys are going to be flocking towards you like dogs. You're becoming too pretty."

I start to blush. "Well, you can always _keep watch _through AIM*, right? You promise we'll chat at least one a week?"

"Of course. You just better stick to your word."

"I will, Edward. You know I always do."

"I know." He smiles.

"But Bella, I'm being serious. _Please _take care of yourself. You don't know how clumsy and reckless you can be sometimes…" he trails off and groans, shaking his head. He looks anxious.

I roll my eyes. "_Yes, Mr. Edward Cullen, sir_."

For the first time all night, he gives me a genuine laugh. "Good."

"Good." I echo.

Edward looks over to the clock on my nightstand. The time reads that it's past midnight.

"I should get going. I'm leaving at seven," he says softly, his eyes downcast.

Well, this is it.

"Okay. Do you think you can stop by right before you leave?" Tears prick at my eyes. I can't help it anymore.

"Sure. But are you going to be awake?"

"I will be. For you."

His breath hitches, and his eyes are glassy. I can barely stand seeing him like this. It hurts too much. I face away from him.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" I murmur.

"Will you look at me?"

"No."

"Bella, please? I need you to look at me."

"_No_."

"_Bella_."

And I can't help it. I look at him. Tears are flowing down his face at an unstoppable rate. I'm crying, too.

With the pads of his thumbs, he wipes my tears away. I follow his lead. Then, he looks in to my eyes.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too."

We no longer attempt to suppress our sobs, our tears. We're holding on to each other tightly, hugging each other as if our lives depend on it, as if we'll never see each other again. Both of our chests heave in sync with one another, pressing against each other with each inhale. It's all too much to take.

I can hardly breathe.

It seems like a lifetime, yet not long enough, that we've been doing this. When we pull away and meet each other's eyes once again, we both look like complete _hell_.

"Wow," Edward exhales loudly, "That was intense."

"Sure was," I say, still hyperventilating.

We both know he should have left by now, but we make no attempt to leave from our spots. Our eyes are still locked.

Edward licks his lips. Suddenly, they look _real _appealing.

I finally unhitch myself from my frozen state and slowly close the _extremely_ small gap between us. Edward's torso leans towards me. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing I am.

I have the intense urge to kiss him.

* * *

><p>*AIM: AOL Instant Messenger. In case you didn't know. :)<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Hours later, the sun's glaring through my window and I wake up with a massive headache.<p>

I rub my eyes, my mind completely blank, and stretch my legs out beneath the sheets.

And then I remember what happened.

_Edward_.

I look at the clock- it's nine o'clock in the morning.

He's already gone. He didn't wake me, didn't say goodbye.

Panicking, my heart races at a rapid rate.

_How dare he!_

I pry off my bed sheets and jump out of bed.

A folded piece of paper falls onto the floor. With shaking hands, I pick it up and unfold it.

_Bella,_

_You fell asleep on me while we were lying down, and right now I'm watching you sleep. Watching each inhale, the small pout on your lips. You look so peaceful and I can't bear to wake you as I'm about to leave and head home._

_When you read this, I'll probably already have left Forks. You'll more than likely be hurt and furious with me, and I won't blame you…I know what I'm doing is extremely cowardly, but I just can't bear to say another goodbye to you face to face. What we just did was so intense…my heart already feels so heavy, and after what just happened, I don't know if I can do it. _

_I hope you understand. It's already hard enough leaving my family behind, but leaving __you__ somehow tugs at my heartstrings even more. I've known you your entire life, since you were hours old. My family and I visited you at the hospital the day you were born._

_I'll never forget the moment I first laid eyes on you. You were the first newborn I've ever met, and you fascinated me. Your wide, wandering eyes, your drooly smile…you were so cute. As a baby, you were practically my little toy._

_And now here you are growing up, blossoming in to a beautiful young lady. I won't be here every day like I used to, and I'm going to miss out on what is going to be one of the biggest, most important stages of your life. It makes me feel like complete crap. _

_I know what you gave me last night, Bella, and it's one of the best, most beautiful things I've ever received. I'm truly, honestly flattered to have it (gosh, I'm turning in to such a girl! What the hell is happening to me?)._

_Well, before I end up having another sob fest (great…too late. I'm already crying), I'll end this. Just know that I love you, and I'll always be there for you. I'll call you once I've reached UW so you know I've made it safely._

_Again, I love you. And thanks for being my best friend. You always will be, no matter how far away we may be, and no matter what happens in our lives from here on out._

_Love, _

_Edward_


	17. Chapter 17

Everything _Twilight _belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I touch the tear stains on the letter and imagine what Edward's face must have looked like while he was writing it.<p>

The image rips a hole through my chest.

Perhaps it _was _a good thing we didn't see each other this morning.

But still…it doesn't make things any easier. For me. At least Edward got to give me a proper goodbye. A letter. I didn't get to give him anything. Say anything. It makes things feel incomplete.

A new set of tears form in my eyes as I walk towards my open bedroom window. For what will probably be the last time, I will close it after him. Because he won't be climbing through it anymore like he has the last several years.

I poke my head out and look at the sight around me. The tree, the grass, the fallen leaves. Everything clears inside me as I inhale the fresh air and envision Edward climbing through the branches. I reach a hand out and touch one.

My hand is on the handle, but I can't bring myself to shut the window. It will make me feel like I'm disconnecting from Edward somehow.

I poke out of the window again. I pluck out a leaf. Snap a tiny twig. I place them on my nightstand along with the letter.

My stomach rumbles, signaling me it's time to eat. Time to go downstairs.

The window is still open.


	18. Chapter 18

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>When I see Edward's name flash on my caller ID at around three o'clock, I'm flooded with so many emotions, where it simply leads me to feeling one- confusion. Before I even hear his voice, I go from feeling excited to relieved; relieved to giddy; giddy to anxious…but then somehow betrayal and anger works its way in.<p>

So when I answer the phone, my voice sounds vacant.

"Hello?"

"_Bella?_"

And just like that, whatever anger…bitterness that exists dissipates.

"Hi, Edward." Tears spring at my eyes. _Damnit_, _haven't I cried enough?_

I take a deep breath and gather myself together.

"_Did you get what I wrote you?_"

"Uh huh. It was real sweet. Thank you."

"_I'm really, _really_ sorry for how I left. Are you upset? I know I'm a complete asshole for doing what I did and I don't blame you if you're pissed, but_ _I just-_"

"Yes, you are a complete ass," I chuckle, cutting him off because I know that if I don't, he'll be rambling on for ages. "But I see where you're coming from. I just wish I got to give you a proper goodbye."

"_It's not _goodbye_, Bella. It's a 'see you later.' We'll see each other again soon enough_."

I smile into the receiver. "Have you been telling yourself that on your way to Seattle? Because I don't remember you sounding so chipper."

"_Yeah, I have actually. Otherwise I would have gone mad by now. Dad already had enough of my moping by the time we hit Port Angeles and made me say that shit for _at least _an hour_."

"Are you serious? Man, I'm kinda sad I missed that."

"_Yeah, right. Your ears would have bled._" I can hear his smirk. "_What time did you wake up?_"

"Around nine."

"_Aahhhh, I see_."

"Yep."

Then an idea strikes me.

"Edward?"

"_That's my name_."

I roll my eyes. _Dork_.

"I have a kinda odd thing I wanna do."

"_Yeah…?_"

"And it involves my window."

"_Alriiight…_"

I smile at the tone of his voice.

I rush up the stairs. By the time I reach my room, I'm panting.

"_Ummm…Bella? Are you okay?_"

"Yeah. Just ran up the stairs."

"_Why?_"

"Because I haven't shut the window yet."

"_Okay…and you're worried about that now?_"

"Yeah."

"_Why?_"

"Because I want to talk to you…hear your voice while I close it so I can have _my _'_see you later_'."

His voice sounds heavy. "_Okay. I'm here_."

"Yes, you are."

And I don't feel as bad when I push that handle down.


	19. Chapter 19

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight. _I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It took awhile for me to adjust with Edward not around.<p>

The first couple of weeks were absolute _torture_. I had so much free time, I didn't know what to do with myself. The only things that helped pull me through were school, homework, keeping myself busy around the house, and of course, my online chats with Edward.

But eventually, I found new ways to occupy my free time.

Reading. Writing.

Charlie would give me weird looks occasionally, but I never thought much of it. It wasn't like I was depressed or anything. At least I didn't _think _so. I've always been quite the introvert.

"Bells?" Charlie asks one Saturday morning.

"Yes?"

"How would you like to go fishing with me at the reservation?"

"Ehhh, you know fishing's not my thing."

His hopeful expression turns to one of disappointment.

"Why do you hide out like this?"

"What do you mean? I'm not hiding out."

"Well, it seems like you are. You never spend time outside the house, spend time with any of your friends. You're isolating yourself."

I roll my eyes. "Charlie, I'm _fine_. I'm not isolating myself. I hang out with my friends at school."

"Well, what about Jacob? You haven't seen him in awhile."

Oh, right. Jacob. I don't even remember the last time I've seen him.

I sigh. I don't _want_ to go. But it's fairly obvious that my going will give Charlie a peace of mind.

So I do.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note: <strong>Question for the readers/writers out there- does the flow of the fic seem okay, in terms of wording? Does it seem too wordy in one chaplet, and then back to normal in another? Or are certain parts too choppy?


	20. Chapter 20

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"<em>Bella!<em>"

Jacob's brown eyes brighten once they land on me. They're so full of life, full of energy, that I can't help but smile.

"The one and only."

"Man it's been _forever_!"

He runs over and lifts me up effortlessly, as if I weigh nothing. He twirls me around in circles for who-knows-how-long and places me down, leaving my head spinning. "Man, since when did you become so strong?" I pant, catching my breath. I cover my eyes with one hand and place the other on the top of my head.

He laughs. "Oh, I don't know. Over the summer? You were too busy hanging with Cullen."

I wave of guilt hits me. "Oh…sorry about that," I mumble. "It's just that he was leaving, you know, and-"

"You don't need to explain yourself, Bells. I understand."

I smile timidly. "Still…I'm sorry."

"'S okay. So…whatcha wanna do?"


	21. Chapter 21

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Jake and I had practically become inseparable ever since that day at the Quileute reservation.<p>

For several weeks now, we've roamed around First Beach. Hung out with Quil, Embry and Seth- his best friends. Even cooked meals and did homework together.

Spending time with Jacob was fun. It was a blast, even. But the time I spent with him was a constant reminder of how much I missed Edward. It made me realize how irreplaceable he truly is.

So, in a way, Jacob made my life without Edward both easier and harder.

"Bells, whatcha thinking?" Jacob asks as I'm staring down at a blank piece of paper, chin resting on my hand with my elbow on the table. I've been trying to form an outline for my English essay, but my mind just wouldn't get in to it.

"Nothing. Just trying to concentrate. But I _can't_," I growl.

"Whooooaaa, _down _kitty," Jacob chuckles. "Something wrong?"

"Not really…"

"What do you mean, _not really_?"

"It's nothing, really. Just thinking about stuff."

"Like…?"

I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear my wallowing over Edward. They're both still not particularly fond of each other, despite the fact they've been able to act more civilized. But I need to talk to _someone _about it. I don't want to bottle it in anymore.

"It's Edward, isn't it?"

Surprised, I look at him in shock. "How do you know?"

"It doesn't take a genius to find out. Ever since he left, you haven't really been the same."

"Oh," I mutter, my eyes downcast. "I mustn't have been much fun to be around, then, huh?"

Jacob snorts. "Yeah, right. You're not _that _bad, Bells. If you were, I wouldn't be here."

"Ha-ha."

"Seriously, though. Wanna talk about it? It might help a little."

And so I do. I don't give Jacob every single detail, but he gets the gist of where I'm coming from.

"Hmmm…you know what you could do?" Jacob says once I'm done yapping away.

"What?"

"Maybe you could do something for him that will show how much you miss him. It might be therapeutic and take some of that sadness out of your system."

I contemplate for a moment. It doesn't sound like a bad idea.

"Hmmmm…I might have _just _the thing."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **I want to apologize in advance if you come across any errors on this (and the next) chaplet. My vision's blurred and I have a massive headache (thanks a lot, Disney, particularly "The Fox and the Hound," for making me bawl like a baby).

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I'm not particularly fond of the idea of putting myself in such a vulnerable and exposed position, especially since Edward's so far away, so I don't even <em>consider <em>taking the sappy route. Edward knows me. So I'm gonna be me. He'll understand the meaning behind what I'm about to do.

For the first time since Edward left Forks, I'm standing on the Cullens' front porch.

Esme opens the door just seconds after I ring the doorbell.

"_Bella?_ Oh my gosh, I miss you _sooo _much!"

She pulls me in to her arms before I even manage to give her a proper greeting.

"I miss you too, Esme," I croak. Despite the suffocating, my heart feels lighter, as if I'm correcting a wrong I didn't know needed correcting. I make a mental note to visit her as often as I can.

"How are you, dear? Would you like something to drink?" She walks towards the kitchen, and I follow suit.

"I'm okay. Still not the same without Edward, though," I frown.

"I know what you mean. The house isn't the same without him."

Esme's eyes tear up and I immediately feel like shit.

"Awww, Esme…"

I give her the tightest hug I could manage. "At least he'll be here for Thanksgiving." 

"You're right." She dabs her eyes with a napkin.

Esme and I end up chatting for over an hour. I tell her about school…she tells me how her volunteering at the hospital is going. Eventually, I bring up the main reason why I'm here.

"So, Esme…I've got a _huge _favor to ask," I say, suddenly nervous.

"Okay, hon. What is it?"

"Do you think I could borrow some of Edward's vinyls?"


	23. Chapter 23

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Bella, I can't. I promised Edward I wouldn't let anyone touch them, let alone go <em>near <em>them."

"Oohh _damnit_."

Esme laughs at my cursing.

"So he told you that, huh?"

She smirks. "Yes. Sorry, hon. He probably knew you were going to ask."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess. Oh well…it was worth a shot."

"Yeah. You've always been persistent like that."

"Didn't do much good this time, though."

"Well, at least you tried. Better to try than never to have tried at all."

"Yeah."

After a few moments of silence, she asks, "May I ask why you wanted to borrow them?"

I tell her. She laughs.

"Oh dear, you two are so funny."

I smile sadly, shrugging my shoulders. "Yeah, well…" I let my voice trail off.

"Aren't you having fun with Jacob, though?"

"Yeah, but it's not the same. Spending time with him just makes me miss Edward more." Tears start to well in my eyes.

"Awww, Bella, I'm sorry." She pulls me in to her arms, just like earlier, and gives me a hug. "You need to make the most out of what you've got right now, perhaps find other things to do to keep Edward off your mind. There's not much else you can do.

"And to be honest, I don't think taking Edward's vinyls is a real smart move. It seems to be an act of desperation."

Esme's right. I can't stay like this forever.

So I take her advice, and try harder.

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: <strong>So...this chaplet didn't go originally as planned. I wrote another version, but decided that this may be the best route to take. If you'd like to see the other version, leave a review or PM me, and I'll send it your way. If you like the other version better, I may replace the chaplet with it. :) Just better step on it before it's too late, though, because the story may progress slightly differently (the ending will be the same. Don't worry...)

If you'd like to follow my on Twitter: MeLikesToRead


	24. Chapter 24

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Angela. How are you?"<p>

"I'm good. What about you?"

I can barely make out her words over the loud noise in the cafeteria. Angela Weber had always been soft spoken. Shy. Reserved. She's like me in a lot of ways.

"I'm fine. Do you have any plans for Halloween?"

"I might go to Ben Cheney's costume party." Her eyes lighten up and before I know it, her cheeks start to blossom. _Hmmm…_

Despite my curiosity, I don't point out her reaction.

"That's cool. I was invited, but I'm not sure I wanna go."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because it just gives girls an excuse to dress slutty. Plus, all that money spent on _one outfit _you'll only wear once? Not sure it's worth it."

Goodness. Can I be any more of a kill joy? _Geesh_. So much for following Esme's advice…

Angela squirms in her seat, but doesn't let my negativity affect her. "Awww, no. You should come! You can join Alice and me, if you'd like."

Partying is not necessarily my thing, and Alice Brandon is a bit too energetic for my liking, but I push that aside for the moment. I remind myself of Esme's words.

I warm my feet a little to the idea. "Hmmm…I don't know…"

"Oh come on, you should! Alice and I are shopping for costumes this weekend. Come with us," she smiles encouragingly.

By the time lunch period is over, I have plans set for Saturday.

_So much for asking her if she would be up for giving out candy and watching scary movies_…


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: **For those who have already read "chaplet 24" earlier today (09/26), you may want to go back to it. The content's been replaced. What was there will be posted in a future ch. (which will be up shortly). A huge thanks to the reader (not sure if you'd like to be named, lol) for your suggestion. :)

I apologize. Hope you understand.

If you wanna follow me on Twitter: MeLikesToRead

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>January, 2004<strong>

"Bells, Mike Newton _so _wants you."

"Oh bullshit, Jake. Does not. What the hell do _you _know?"

"Oh trust me, I know _plenty_. I _am _a guy."

"Yeah…a fourteen year old guy."

"Oh yeah, 'cause one year makes _such _a difference." Jacob rolls his eyes. "Mike's fifteen, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then," he says, cockiness radiating through his tone. "_So_, as a guy _one year_ younger than him, I know how he thinks. He's in to you, Bells."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah right."

"I'm serious! You should have seen the way he was ogling over your ass while we were leaving First Beach." Jacob smirks and shakes his head, clearly amused.

"_Ugh! _Will you shut up?"

He squints his eyes and inspects my face. "Oh my gosh. You _like _him, don't you?"

"_Whatever!_ Do not!"

Unphased by my defense, he presses on. "You think he's hot?"

"No…"

"_Uh huh_. Otherwise, why would you be blushing scarlet, right? Oh my goodness, he's so _not _hot…" He says sarcastically, snickering.

My blush deepens, and then within seconds, Jacob busts out in to full blown laughter. "You're turning in to a tomato!"

He continues laughing and I storm away.

"_Fuck you_."

Sometimes, it's so _irritating_ having someone like Jacob around. Especially when he can read me so well, when I don't _want _him to.

But when it comes down to it, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's comforting when you have someone around that gets you…understands you. Accepts you for who you are. _Despite _the fact that they can be a true, royal pain in the ass at times.

It's just a good thing that Jacob and I attend different schools.


	26. Chapter 26

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's Friday night, which means that it's bonfire- slash-gossiping-slash-hanging out-slash-snacking-slash-drinking-slash making out time at First Beach with the buds.<p>

Well, the last part only applies to Angela and Ben, who are now _finally _official.

Our group usually consists of Jake, Ang, Ben, Alice, Mike, Quil, Seth and myself. _It's the Quileutes and the Pale Faces Combined, _Jacob would always say. Sam, Jacob's cool, older cousin, hooks us up with the booze. He usually gets us nothing special- just beer and some wine coolers, but it serves its purpose.

It gets us tipsy. Relaxed. Loosened up. It's the perfect way to start our weekends.

From the corner of my eye, I see Angela sitting on Ben's lap. She's giggling over something he whispers in to her ear, and then nuzzles her neck, making her laugh even more.

The sight makes my heart melt. I tilt the corner of my lips up and smile.

Lately, I find myself wishing I had what they had found in one another.

Friendship. Companionship. Affection. Adoration. _Love._

Key word: l.o.v.e.

"Hey, Bella."

"Ohh…hey, Mike. Take a seat."

He sits down on the same log as me, our knees touching.

"How ya doin'?"

"Hangin' in there," I chuckle. "You?"

"I'm doing _great_." Mike stares in to my eyes, and suddenly there's a tension between us.

And it's not the bad kind.

_Shit_. Jacob was right, after all.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

From across the bonfire, I can feel Jacob's eyes on us. I resist the urge to face him, because I know that if I do, I'll be faced with the smuggest expression on the planet.

Mike and I end up walking along the shore. The breeze makes my face feel numb, but I ignore it because I'm enjoying the privacy.

"I've been meaning to talk to you all week, but haven't really had the chance."

"I know. Lots of things have been going lately."

"Uh huh." He stops midstep, hands tucked in his pockets, and shifts his feet.

"Bella, I've been wanting to tell you…"

"Yes?"

"That I…that I like you. Like, _like like _you." He avoids my eyes; they're frozen on the rocks.

My heart thumps loudly in my chest.

"I like you, too."


	27. Chapter 27

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>April, 2004<strong>

Mike and I are a couple now. Have been ever since that weekend.

When I told Edward everything, he was happy for me. Said it wasn't a surprise to him, that Mike was lucky to have me.

Edward asked me _everything_…from how Mike looked, to what his grades were, to how he treated me. After chatting with him for _at least _an hour, Mike officially had his blessing.

Didn't know he needed it in the first place, but whatever.

"Hey, babe," Mike greets me as he steps in through the threshold.

"Hey," I kiss him lightly on the lips, he attempts to deepen it.

But I pull away before it gets too intense.

"Is your dad home?"

"No, he's working."

"Okay."

Mike places his coat and backpack on the couch.

"Want to go up to your room?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. We could hang out?" He steps closer, his breath touching my ear.

I know where he's going with this. For the past two weeks, he's been too aggressive for my liking, making it obvious that he wants something from me.

And I'm not ready to give it.


	28. Chapter 28

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>May, 2004<strong>

I'm in my room, crying. Sobbing. Feeling as if my heart's about to combust.

Heartbreak sucks ass. Big time. Especially when it's over your first boyfriend...when it's all new. Fresh.

It hurts. It fucking _hurts_.

When I caught him making out with the school's head cheerleader, Jessica Stanley, I wanted to yell…scream my head off to the point where I'd make both of them deaf.

They'd deserve it.

But I didn't. In shock, I just stared. Gasped and covered my mouth. Once they heard me and realized they got caught, they looked like deer caught in headlights.

That's when I ran away.

"Bella, shhhh…it's okay," Alice rocks me in her arms, rubbing my back. Over the past couple school years, we've become close. Real close. I consider her my best girlfriend, more so than Angela.

It's weird and funny sometimes, the way opposites attract.

But they do. Alice and I are proof of that.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. I _adore _her.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: **Here's the chaplet that was removed. There are a couple minor changes, other than that, everything's the same.

You'll get an update _real _soon. Promise. :)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>September, 2006<strong>

"_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy Birthday to you_

_Happy birthday dear Bella,_

_Happy birthday to youuu"_

"_Woooo!"_ Claps. Laughter. Smiles.

Smiling sheepishly, I blow out the candles on my birthday cake.

Charlie. His girlfriend, Sue. Seth and Leah, Sue's children. Jacob. Billy, Jacob's father. Rachel, Jacob's sister. Alice. Angela. Esme. Carlisle. _Not _Edward.

These are the people who are at attendance at my little gathering, the one that Charlie insisted upon having.

I wish he didn't. It's such a crappy day. Rain. Gray skies. He knows I'm not one for celebrating my birthday, especially ever since Renee passed.

And, it doesn't help that for the first time ever, Edward's not here to celebrate with us.

He and I have been completely fine over the past five years, ever since he left Forks. We still talked on a regular basis- the only difference was that he had a life of his own; I had my own. After following Esme's advice, I learned how to be truly, genuinely happy without having him by my side twenty-four seven. I was able to grow up. Learn how to rely on myself more. Edward and I didn't need to be connected at the hip anymore.

But right now, it just _really _hurts that my best friend's not here. He's been around for each and every single one of my birthdays, even the day I was _born_. But he isn't here. He isn't here to welcome me in to adulthood, on my eighteenth birthday.

_Fuck_.

I didn't realize it would affect me this much.


	30. Chapter 30

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Before Carlisle and Esme leave, they ask to speak to me privately in the dining room. Carlisle has to step outside for a moment, so Esme and I make small talk.<p>

Once Carlisle's back inside, I see a gift wrapped box tucked beneath his arm.

I shake my head, frustrated. "Carlisle, Esme…I _told _you guys not to get me anything!"

Esme gives me a soft smile. "I know, and we didn't. This is from Edward."

Confused, I quirk my brow. "Huh? Why didn't he just send it to me?"

"He gave this to us the last time we visited," Carlisle explains. "He figured it'd be best to deliver it to you this way, so that Esme and I could at least _hand _you something for today. He predicted that you'd refuse _anything_ we'd try to give."

He chuckles.

Edward was right. After all these years, he still knows…

"Bella, I know you don't want anything, but since Edward's not here, _please _open this. You won't regret it."

With that hopeful, encouraging expression on Esme's face, how could I deny her? There's just no way.

"_Ugh_, you guys kill me, you know that? All of you Cullens," I mutter under my breath.

They both laugh as I rip off the wrapping paper.

When I finally realize what my gift is, I gasp. "A _webcam?_"

Carlisle and Esme smile and nod their heads.

"Thank you _so, so, so, so, so, sooooo _much!"

I ram myself in between them and attempt to cram us all together. "Group hug!"

"That's not all there is," Esme chuckles once I release her from my hold. "You should set it up right now and sign on."

"Why?"

"Because Edward wants to talk to you."


	31. Chapter 31

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I'm packing up for college. It's just about that time for me to leave Forks.<p>

A part of me _can't wait_ to get out of this small town. A part of me doesn't want to leave at all.

I'm _extremely_ excited, yet nervous, at the same time. It's _terrifying_ entering the unknown.

At least I know I'm not leaving Charlie all alone, leaving him to fend for himself. He's got Sue now. And I'm happy for him.

And then there's Jacob. The poor thing…he's still got another year to serve in this joint. I'm going to miss him. Terribly. Even though he basically served as a stand in for awhile, he became much more than that. And I'm glad…happy…_honored_ to have such a loyal, passionate person like him in my life.

Luckily for me, Alice, Angela and I are all moving to the Seattle area. Alice and I are attending the University of Washington; Angela- Seattle University. _Thank God_. All the blood, sweat and tears we shed together, both academically and personally, had paid off.

As I take in the surroundings of my modest sized bedroom, memories flood my mind. The first night I had to sleep by myself without my parents. The nights I was read to by my parents. The times I was read to by Edward. The first night Edward snuck in through my window. The last night Renee tucked me in to bed. Edward's last night here. The late night talks with Alice and Angela. The evenings Alice would doll me up before a date. The _many _nights I cried myself to sleep at night, thanks to Renee, Edward, and Mike.

_Three more days_. Three more days, and I'm out of here. Three more days until my room changes. For good.

Seth's moving in here once all my things are gone. This place will no longer be my safe haven of sanctuary. It will be his. I hope he enjoys it, that he creates special moments in here that will mean as much to him as mine mean to me.

Deep inside me, I know he will.

He will grow rather fond of the window.


	32. Chapter 32

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>The day for my move to Seattle has finally arrived. It's time for me to take that one extra step in to adulthood. Towards the real world.<p>

This is it.

The rented mini U-Haul truck is loaded to the brim, completely filled with Angela's, Alice's and my belongings. I venture to guess that over half the things stocked in there are unnecessary. And that's on Alice's and Angela's part. Not mine. I like to believe that I'm a practical packer.

Before I step outside the house one last time, I take a peek inside each room. Just for the sake of nostalgia.

And…for buying extra time.

Jake and Billy are over. Jacob insisted last night that he come see me, despite my protests. Because I know that this is going to be hard.

"So, you're all ready, huh?"

Jacob's eyelids look slightly swollen, but I don't call him out on it. Mine are, too.

"Yep. Alice and Ang should be here any minute."

"Man…I seriously can't believe this is happening." He shakes his head, and I can tell he's trying to fight back tears.

"Tell me about it. This will be you in another year, though. The time will be here before you know it."

"We'll see about that. But, before I forget…"

From his pocket, he pulls out a miniature, wooden carved figure. "Here's a little going away gift. I made it myself."

I hold it between my fingers and examine it closely. It's so…_detailed_.

"You made this? This looks like the work of a professional, Jake."

"What, you don't believe me?" he snickers.

"No, _of course _I believe you, but just…_wow_. It's _beautiful_," I say, awestruck. "It's a wolf, right?"

"You got it," he smiles. "I'm glad you like it."

"I don't like it…I _love _it. It came from here." I pat my chest. "Thank you _so much_. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome."

I practically shove myself into his arms. I squeeze him tightly, not wanting to let go. I don't want to say goodbye to him.

"Bells, I'm really going to miss you."

"Oh, Jake…I'm gonna miss you, too. _So _much."

Tears well in my eyes, and I can't hold it in any longer. The waterworks begin and I unashamedly ruin his shirt.

Over the loudness of my sobbing, I hear three words whispered in to my hair. Whether I'm meant to hear them or not, I don't know. But they're three words I've never heard escape Jake's lips.

_I love you_.


	33. Chapter 33

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I'm all moved, settled in.<p>

My roommate's not so bad. A bit snarky, but she's cool. Her name's Rosalie.

Haven't had much of a chance to actually spend time with her outside the dorm, though. She's always out and about with her boyfriend.

I'm sorting through my clothes when I hear a beeping sound come from the new cell phone Charlie bought for me.

I flip the screen open.

_**Texting…1…2…3! ~E**_

_**Ha…very funny :P ~B**_

_**Enjoying your new phone? ~E**_

_**Ehhh…I guess. Just trying to get used to texting with this thing… ~B**_

_**Better get with the times, Bella. You're not in Forks anymore :P ~E**_

_**Yeah, thanks for the reminder :rolls eyes: ~B**_

_**lol. Wanna do lunch? ~E**_

_**I guess. Since you are in the neighborhood and all… ~B**_

_**Ha, very funny ~E**_

_**Does the Ram sound good? ~B**_

_**:Sigh: you undergrads…Sure, why not ~E**_

_**Shut up, dude. Otherwise, you won't get the honor of sharing a meal with me ~B**_

_**Oh no! I'm so sorry, Princess! lol. But seriously, the Ram sounds good. See you in an hour? ~E**_

_**Alright, see you then ~B**_

After pressing '_send' _on that last message, I couldn't help but smile to myself.

It's so awesome living near Edward again.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: **The feedback I've received from this fic so far is wonderful. When I see my inbox filled with alerts, faves, reviews, and PMs, it means _a lot_ to me. Really. So _thank you_, from the bottom of my heart, for giving my fic a try. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"I don't think you should go, Bella. They're not your thing."<p>

It's Friday night, and Edward's attempting to dissuade me and Alice from attending a frat party we were invited to earlier in the week.

"It may not be, but this is _college_. I've never been to one before, and I'd like to check it out, just this once."

"Well, do you need to go there looking like _that_?"

I glance down at my outfit. There's nothing wrong with it. Jeans. Tank top. Wrap over sweater. I don't look like a skank.

As long as I keep the wrap over sweater on.

"What? I'm not allowed to wear tank tops now?"

Edward rolls his eyes as Alice laughs from my bed. She's watching us like we're some kind of television show.

Just great.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I _don't_ know. What _do _you mean, Edward?"

I know I'm pressing him, giving him a hard time, but I can't help it. He squirms in his pants too easily these days.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: **A common question I've been receiving is whether or not Edward & Bella had sex the night before he left for college (ch. 15-16). The answer is no. They just had a_ real_ intense make out session, lol. He gave her her first kiss that night. Bella wasn't at the age of consent (he was 18, she just turned 13), so it would have been illegal. I guess his letter was too vague, and he was just being a _huge_ sap, yes? Remember, they both were real emotional that night. My apologies. :o(

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I'm drunk as hell.<p>

Beer…jello shots. _More_ beer. Even some shots of vodka. It's the largest amount of alcohol I've ever consumed in one night.

I had fun, more than I expected.

_Ha_, take _that_, Edward.

It's three am and my ring tone goes off. "Smells Like Teen Spirit," by Nirvana rages through my ears, and for the first time ever, I'm irritated by the song. It makes my head ache.

"How may I be of service to you, Mr. Cullen?" I slur.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. Just royally _fucked_."

"I can tell," he grumbles.

"Oh c'mon, it was all in good fun."

There's a moment of silence. I wonder if he hung up on me.

"Where are you now?"

_Oh good, he didn't_.

"Ummm…I have no idea. Greek row?" _Did I leave the house the party was at? _I honestly don't remember. All I know is that I'm sitting on a large, dead grassed lawn with a huge, brick house behind me. Whether it's a fraternity, sorority, or just some random house…I have _no clue_.

"Are you with Alice?"

I turn my head from side to side, looking for her. I could have sworn she was beside me. Guess not. "Ummm…sure."

"What do you mean, _sure_?"

"I _mean _that I thought she was with me. But I don't see her right now."

Edward sighs loudly on to the phone. "Just fucking great. Can you give me the house number to the place you're at? Or a cross street?"

"Sure, dad."

Luckily, the house is on the corner of the block, so I give him both. In less than ten minutes, he's stepping out of his car, walking towards me. I'm lying down on the grass, completely relaxed.

"Let's look for Alice."

Just as I'm sitting up, I see another guy that looks about Edward's age step out from the passenger side of his car. I've never seen him before.

"Who's that?"

"Emmett McCarty."


	36. Chapter 36

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Ever since the night of that frat party, Edward's concern for my safety skyrocketed.<p>

At first, I thought he was being ridiculous. But as the quarter progressed and I received e-mail after e-mail of "Campus Incidents," I understood his worry.

So, as a way of killing two birds with one stone- spending time with Edward and building my physical endurance, we hit the gym quite often. At least three days a week.

"_Wanna take it easy today and just hit the pool?_" Edward asks one day as we make plans over the phone.

"Ummm. I don't think I have a swimsuit. But I'll ask Alice if I can borrow hers, if she has one."

"Okay. Text me and let me know."

Turns out she did. But it was a skimpy looking two piece.

_Fuck_.

Less than two hours later, I'm waiting for Edward at one of the lounge chairs.

I'm fiddling around with one of the ribbons on the bikini, when out of nowhere, a warm whisper ghosts over my neck and ear.

"_Peak-a-boo._"

Startled, I bounce in my seat and shriek. Loudly.

"_Fuck!_"

People turn their heads towards us.

I blush. Edward busts out laughing.

"Damnit, Edward! Why did you do that?"

"Just wanted to see if you're still the jumpy Bella I remember," he barely manages to get out in between breaths.

"Well, now you know. Satisfied?"

"No. There's still one thing I'd like to try."

Before I could register what's happening, he pulls me in to his arms, caging me. He's tickling me at my ribs. My hips. We're causing a scene, and he doesn't seem to care.

I keep squirming beneath him, trying to fight him off, but he's still hovering over me…keeping me pinned down. We're practically skin against skin. And then, when my thigh rubs against his shorts, I notice something.

He's getting hard.


	37. Chapter 37

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh fuck<em>," Edward mutters beneath his breath. His tickling ceases and before I know it, he grinds himself against me, increasing the friction between us.

My breath hitches, and desire and anticipation seep through my veins.

I rub against him again.

The fact that we're in public doesn't phase me.

But then all of a sudden, too soon for my liking, Edward stops abruptly and pulls away from me.

"Bella, I'm…I'm so sorry," he says apologetically, his eyes locked on the ground. He looks ashamed. Mortified. Embarrassed.

For the first time in years, I see his face flush.

"It's fine," I murmur softly.

"Yeah…but it's _you. _And doing this here at the pool…with people around…"

He shakes his head.

I contemplate his words for a moment. I don't know what to make out of them.

All I know is this- I want to do it again.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: **I hope the flow of the story's been okay. It's sort of a shift between drabble/regular description in my opinion, so if it seems choppy/distracting, I apologize. This fic is serving as a writing exercise for me, so it's unbeta'ed, only self-edited. I take all the blame, lol. Hope you've been enjoying the storyline, at least!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>For Thanksgiving, Edward, Alice, Ben, Angela and I head back to Forks.<p>

It's odd being back home. Doesn't feel the same.

Especially since my room isn't _mine _anymore.

I insist upon sleeping on the couch, but no one will have it. So, I end up sleeping over at one of the Cullens' guestrooms.

It feels…uncomfortable. Strange. For the first time, their home doesn't have that warm, inviting feeling.

It doesn't escape anyone's notice that I feel that way. I've never been good at masking my emotions.

My face, my body language, is a traitor like that.

But I can't help it.

Ever since that day at the pool, Edward's been acting…different.

There's been a growing tension between us, and I don't like it. At all. It's been getting to me. Makes me feel like I'm losing my best friend.

It doesn't help that we have to sleep under the same roof, either. When I try to fall asleep at night, I have to urge to go to his room. Spend time with him.

But I'm not sure he'd like that.

So instead, I keep to myself. Toss and turn in my bed. My mind won't shut off, no matter how hard I try.

I miss my best friend.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: **Once again, thanks for the reviews/faves/alerts. It means tons. :o)

Something some of you may enjoy is my short story/extended one shot, "After All." http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6759906/1/After_All [replace the "(dot)"s with actual periods].

I guess I sorta have a thing for E&B being best friends, huh? lol. I already have an idea of another fic that that won't be along those lines, though, so stay tuned...

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>By the time winter break approaches, I'm fed up.<p>

Edward's new behavior towards me, or rather lack thereof, leaves me on edge.

From as far back as I can remember, Edward and I have always been completely open with each other whenever something disturbed one of us, never restraining _anything_. So now that he's acting this way, it makes me wonder if he even wants to be friends with me anymore.

The day before Christmas Eve, I finally confront him, getting straight to the point.

"Nothing's wrong," he says.

But I don't believe him. His eyes tell me otherwise.

"You know I can tell you're lying, right? Why aren't you being honest with me, Edward?"

"Because…" he says in a soft voice, so soft that I can barely hear him, "I don't want to scare you."

I couldn't help but laugh. Edward? Scare me? Since when?

"What makes you think that you'd scare _me_? Goodness. I've known you my entire life!"

"That's the point."

"What's the point?"

"That I've known you your entire life."

"Okay…and?"

"And…I don't know."

I frown.

Edward's body language- the slumping of his shoulders, the defeated expression on his face, tells me that he's spent. Spent of…whatever's been railing through his mind.

Great. Now I'm overcome with guilt for having brought up our conversation.

But not guilty enough to the point where I want to drop it. Because I want to know…_need _to know, if he's been thinking about me the way I've been thinking about him.


	40. Chapter 40

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Edward?"<p>

"Yes?"

"Do you…regret what we did at the pool?"

Without a beat, no hesitancy, he answers. "Yes."

_Aaaand_, there goes my ego. Completely deflated.

"Okay," I murmur as I bite my lip, fighting back tears. _At least I know the truth now_.

"You deserve more than that, Bella. _Much _more."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You do," he says with conviction. "Don't _you _regret it?"

"No."

Astonished, Edward gapes at me open mouthed. "_Really?_"

"Yes."

A few seconds tick by before he speaks again.

"_Wow_. I just figured that you got caught up in the moment and weren't really thinking about what we were doing…that you weren't even registering the fact that you were doing it with _me_."

"I _was_ caught up in the moment. And I _wasn't_ thinking. And I…"

"Yes?" Edward presses with anticipation.

I turn my head in order to avoid his eyes, afraid to see his reaction to the following words.

"I'm glad that it was you."

The truth, the intensity behind those words cause my lips to quiver.

"Really?" he screeches in a high pitched tone, so high that he almost sounds like a prepubescant teenager. "So you weren't grossed out dry humping some old creepster?"

_Old creepster? _Okay…now he's being absolutely ridiculous.

But thank God for those words, the timbre of his voice. Because they lighten my mood drastically and help me have some insight to his perspective.

"Edward, you're only five years older than me. And you're _twenty-three_. You hardly qualify as being an 'old creepster.'" I chuckle.

"Yeah, okay, maybe that was a bit overboard," he concedes. "But _still_…I'm me, and you're…you," he says as he motions his hand between us. "This was never us, Bella."

"Ummm…are you forgetting something? What about that night in my room? Right before you left for U-Dub? You weren't so hard on yourself then."

He pauses. "Yeah. Huh."

My eyes twinkle with amusement. "_Yeah_. So why are you being so hard on yourself now?"

After some contemplation, he shrugs. "I truly, honestly don't know. But what I did both of those times didn't it weird you out? Disgust you? My behavior was inexcusable, _so_ improper-"

"Edward, stop being so hard on yourself. Both situations were mutual, you know."

"But-"

"But _nothing_. Shut up before you give both of us headaches," I smile softly. "There is something I want to know, though."

"And what is that?"

"Where does this leave us now?"

* * *

><p>Updating asap. Don't worry!<p> 


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: **It's late. I'm tired. I literally just completed this chaplet. So if there are any errors, I apologize in advance. Other than that, enjoy. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"That's a good question," Edward sighs. "But before we get there, I want to ask you something."<p>

"Yes?"

"What did you mean by 'I'm glad it was you'?"

Heat begins to radiate through my cheeks. "Just that…uhh."

I stop short, unsure of where to begin. I'm at a loss for words, rendered speechless, despite the fact that I've got so much to say, so much to ask.

Sensing my disorientation, Edward asks, "Are you glad that it was me because you're attracted to me, or are you glad it was me because of familiarity?"

"Both."

"Really? You're really, truly attracted to me?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yes. Why does that surprise you?"

"I don't know. It's just weird having you admit it."

That last sentence stings, leaving me feeling hurt and stupid. Exposed and naked. I should have known it'd be this way for him.

"Oh," I say simply. I can't think up of anything else because really, how do I respond to a statement like that?

_Oh wait. _There _is_ something...

I ask him if he's really attracted to me, too.

Now _he's _the one found speechless.

"Ummm…uhhhh…"

"Yes?"

"_Fuck_."

"That's not a proper response to the question, Edward."

"I know."

"Well…?"

I have a high hope, a sneaking suspicion that he _is _attracted to me. Otherwise, why would he be so flabbergasted?

_Please let it be true, please let it be true, please let it be true…_

After several seconds, he finally answers by nodding his head.

But that's not enough for me.

"Say it, Edward. I want to hear it."

His face reddens as he runs his long fingers through his hair.

"Yes, I'm attracted to you, Bella."

My heart thunders loudly in my chest, the words hitting me like a tidal wave.

After all these weeks, relief washes over me, and I exhale a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

_He's attracted to me_.

But now, I want to know…

"Do you...want me?"

His eyes widen, practically bulging out of his sockets.

"What do you mean by that, exactly?"

"Ummm...I mean, do you want to _do _something about your attraction towards me?"

"As in...have _sex _with you?"

I can't say my answer out loud, so I simply nod my head.

"Let's just put it this way, Bella. I'm a twenty-three year old male. And what is one of their common cravings?"

He lets the rhetorical question linger. "Make of that what you will."

_Fuck_.

I don't need to look in the mirror to know I'm blushing scarlet.

Once I'm somewhat gathered together, I manage to let out a squeaky "okay."

And then, I'm met with a smirking Edward.

_Smirking. _He's actually _smirking_…in a situation like this?

Ass.

Irritated, I muster up all the confidence I can get.

"So…if I were to really want you too, you'd actually_…do_ it?"

"Uhhhh…"

"Would you?"

"Maybe."

"It's a yes or no question, Edward."

"But the situation is complicated, _Bella_."

"Yeah. Well."

"Well."

After having a few second stare-down, I can't take the atmosphere between us anymore.

This isn't who we are…this isn't what we should be doing...acting like a couple bickering fools.

So, standing before him, I say his name.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"May I have a hug?"

It's sometimes such a silly, simple question to ask, but at this moment, his embrace is something I need. I just want to make sure everything's really okay between us, and this is one of the ways I can be certain of that, with no words. Because I don't need words right now. I just need _him_.

He gives me a crooked smile. "Yes, my silly girl."

I'm _home_. I feel warmth, safeness. I feel light, strong. I feel cared for, treasured.

"Bella?" He murmurs in to my hair.

"Yes?"

"How do you want to manage this?"

"Well, it depends how you feel. Are we going to actually _act _on our attraction towards each other?" I smirk.

He chuckles. "We'll see. Perhaps we should just see what we're comfortable with for now; keep it natural. I don't think we should try to push things one way or another."

"True."

"Is that okay with you?"

I think about that for a second.

"It ought to be. It's just that this is all new, so it's sort of difficult to grasp everything right now, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

I'm still in his arms, and he's rocking our bodies from side to side. It makes my insides, my entire body melt.

"But Edward?"

"Yes?"

"No more distancing yourself or hiding from me, okay? I fucking hate that. You were killing me."

"Oh Bella, I'm so, so sorry," he says, his voice sounding pained, full of regret. "I didn't intend to make you to feel that way."

I pull back a bit so he can see my narrowed eyes, acting as if I were trying to decide whether or not I should accept his apology.

But of course, I already have.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: **Just to clarify in advance, E&B are in Forks during this chaplet, and Bella is sleeping at the Cullens' once again. Remember, it's Winter Break, so they are visiting their families.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the night, I'm woken up in my sleep. There's an arm draped over me, and my initial reaction is shock.<p>

But the second I grasp it in attempt to pry it off, I realize who it belongs to.

"Edward?" I whisper hoarsely.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he chuckles in to my neck.

I shiver from the sensation.

"Okay…well, _why _are you here?"

"Because I've missed you. And I want to make up for lost time."

He pulls me closer against him, his hold on me tightening. I can hear, feel him inhaling my scent, and I can't help but blush.

"I've missed you, too," I say, barely above a whisper. "Does anyone know you're here?"

"No, everyone's asleep."

"Okay."

"Sorry I woke you, but I just couldn't help it."

"It's fine. I'm glad you're here."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I can feel him smile against me. "Good."

While he clasps our fingers together against my chest, I ask, "How long have you been here?"

"A half hour, give or take."

"Hmmm, that's awhile."

He smirks.

"And I see you've worked your way beneath the covers."

"Yes, I have. I love being near you like this." He pauses. "Is this okay?"

"Of course. But is there something you'd like to do?"

"No...I'm perfectly content lying here with you like this…unless you'd like to do something…?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Alright."

After a few minutes of talking and enjoying each other's company in silence, I fall asleep.

When I wake up at around eight o'clock, Edward's body is still beside me, his arm _still_ wrapped around me.

He's practically smothering me as if I'm his own personal teddy bear.

He looks so at peace…so innocent…that I just watch him sleep.

I'm glad he didn't leave me while I was sleeping.

And then I realize I could watch him like this forever, wake up like this for the rest of my days, and never tire of it.


	43. Chapter 43

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Bella?"<p>

"Hmmm?"

"Do you have any plans for New Years?"

"Don't know yet. Why?"

"Well," Edward says, running his fingers along my hair, "Remember my friend, Emmett?"

"Mmmhmmm," I hum, leaning my head against his touch.

"He's throwing a party at his downtown condo. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

I think about this for a minute.

"Could my friends come too? Or do you not trust a bunch of minors enough to be around alcohol?" I snicker.

"Well…" he says, his voice wandering off before continuing, "If they consume any at_ all_, I'd like for them to spend the night. I'll just run it by Emmett first."

"Okay. If it's fine with him, I'll most definitely go."

"Alright."

Emmett gives the okay, and we all attend the party.

I drink. I drink and drink.

Edward drinks, too. Tons.

We're both completely, undeniably shitfaced.

I'm horny as hell, he's horny as hell, which leads us to absolute _trouble_.

"Bella," Edward moans, cornering me against a wall and thrusting onto the thin fabric of my dress, making me fully aware of his hardness, "You look so fucking good."

"You do, too," I say hoarsely.

He lowers his head down towards mine and devours my mouth.

"Ungh," he groans, "You taste better than alcohol."

His words cause a soft moan to escape my lips.

"Come here."

He pulls me in to an unoccupied bedroom and locks the door.

Despite his drunken state, he places me on to the bed in a gentle manner, no longer acting animalistic.

I grab a hold of his shirt and pull him up to me, our eyes inches apart.

"Come on, Edward," I plead.

He knows what I'm talking about. He trails kisses over the fabric of my dress, descending lower and lower down my body…

"I can't wait anymore. I _have _taste you. I've been craving it so badly…"

"Then taste it."

He drags my thong down my legs, and then stuffs it in to his pocket.

And then…his tongue meets the part that aches for him most.

The tip of his tongue _barely _grazes my clit, driving me _insane_, making me squirm.

This new feeling…sensation…is too much take.

But I need more.

"Have you ever touched yourself, Isabella?"

_Isabella_. _Fuck. _

"No."

"Nothing's ever…been inside you?"

He dips his tongue inside my entrance, causing me to gasp loudly.

"No," my legs shake.

And then, too soon for my liking, he pulls it out.

"Hmmm…I'll have to do something about that."

And he does.

* * *

><p>In case you're wondering, I have not forgotten about the Prologue…<p> 


	44. Chapter 44

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Nibbling. Nipping. Licking. Humming. Butterfly kisses.<p>

That's what I'm woken up to the following morning.

"Happy new year, Bella," a muffled voice whispers on to my stomach.

I smile in contentment as my eyes take in a ruffle haired, cheerful Edward. The happiness reflecting off of his green eyes is contagious, making me feel light. As if I don't have a care in the world.

What a wonderful way to start off my new year. Despite the fact that I have a massive migraine.

_Damn hangovers_.

"You too," I reply as I stretch beneath a blanket that's hovering over our half naked bodies.

"Where did this come from?"

"I got it from Emmett's linen closet after you…knocked out. You were pretty exhausted," he smirks, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

My face flushes. "Oh."

"How are you feeling?"

"Great."

He looks at me questioningly. "Aren't you hung over?"

The corners of my lips tilt up. "Yes. But I'm perfectly fine, otherwise."

"Good to hear," he says, leaning down to kiss my temple.

"What about you, aren't _you_ hung over?"

"Not really. I ate and drank some water before I fell asleep."

"Well, well…lucky you."

My head a little fuzzy, I attempt to recollect last night's events…_before_ Edward and I had our little escapade.

"Ummm…are my friends still here?" I ask in a guarded tone.

"No, they're still sleeping."

"Do they know what happened with us? Did they see?"

With sadness in his eyes, he answers "no."

* * *

><p>And there's your assurance that there was no "morning after awkwardness" between them. lol. :o) Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!<p> 


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: **Sooo…this has been, for some reason, the most _difficult, time consuming _chaplet for me to write. That's why it took me longer than usual to update. I came up with at least three other versions but ended up with this. So frustrating. Hope you enjoy, even though I'm kinda "ehhh" about it. Lol.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>February, 2007<strong>

During the past several weeks, Edward and I continued to keep whatever this…_thing _that's been going on between us to ourselves. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing to do in the long term scheme of things, but for the time being, it was fun. Exciting. It was exhilarating in a way, keeping it a secret. It made our encounters that much more intense.

Even though it did make me feel like complete shit at times. Like tonight for Alice's birthday, for instance.

"Thanks for treating us to dinner, Edward. This is _so sweet_ of you!" she gushes as we enter Salty's Seafood Restaurant. "The view is _breathtaking_. I _can't wait_ until Ben and Ang are here to see this."

The Puget Sound. Downtown Seattle. Ferries. Alki Beach. Boat docks. All of this is seen from the table our hostess seats us at. With the subtle touch of the sunset illuminating the view, it makes the sight before us even more entrancing than it already would have been in broad daylight.

"You really didn't have to take us _here_, though. This place is expensive!"

"Don't worry about it, Alice. It's your birthday and you've talked about coming here a million times. So, here we are."

She smiles widely. "You're too sweet, you know that? No wonder Bella likes you so much."

I couldn't help but smirk. _Likes_. That's putting it mildly.

Edward chuckles. "Yeah. She couldn't help but like me ever since she was a baby. I've always had her wrapped around my finger."

From beneath the table, he links his pinky with mine and gently squeezes it. I squeeze back, smiling to myself, enjoying our little secret moment and Alice's obliviousness.

And then suddenly something inside me triggers. I feel like crap for hiding something as insignificant as a _pinky squeeze_ from her. For hiding _everything _from her. And enjoying it. On her damn birthday.

Some friend I am.

The sound of her phone beeping and vibrating softly on the table break me from my thoughts. She received a text.

"Is that Ang?"

"No, it's Jacob."


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: **Seriously...I don't know what's been with me these past couple days. This chaplet was difficult for me to write as well! If there are any errors, I apologize in advance. I'm working on another drabble that will be posted shortly; I hope you all will check it out once it's posted. :o) I'll provide the link.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Oh, really? What does he want?" I ask, my tone full of guilt.<p>

I've been neglecting Jacob lately, just like I had right before Edward left for U-Dub.

I'm awful.

"He just wished me a happy birthday," Alice says, smiling softly.

Her eyes dart over to Edward for a fraction of a second, knowingly, and we change the subject. Alice is fully aware that he and Jacob aren't necessarily each other's biggest fans.

A few minutes later, Angela and Ben join us.

"Bella, I haven't seen you lately. I've missed you," Angela says from across the table before taking a sip of water.

"I know. I'm sorry, Ang. The eighteen credits I'm taking this quarter are killing me, so I've been at campus libraries and cafes quite a bit."

_And Edward's apartment_.

"I understand. I'm barely able to manage sixteen."

I sigh. "That's college for you."

"I remember taking eighteen credits a couple years ago," Edward says. "It was one of my toughest quarters."

Unbeknownst to everyone at the table, he rests his hand on my bare thigh.

My breath hitches.

"Oh, I'm sure," she says to Edward before turning her attention back to me. "What classes are you taking again?"

"Umm…French, Chemistry, English. The remaining credits are for my research assistant position," I barely manage to respond.

"Ahhh, I see."

"And you?"

"I'm taking Theology, Sociology…"

Edward's hand hikes up beneath my dress, ghosting the tips of his fingers along my inner thigh torturously slow. It makes me lose complete focus on Angela's words. I'm mortified, even annoyed, that he would do such a thing right now, in public, in front of my _friends_. But more than anything, I'm aroused.

Don't they notice the motion of his arm, or the tendons, veins, moving about beneath his skin?

Clearly they don't, as they continue conversing among themselves.

Goosebumps form on my skin as I shiver.

"Are you cold, Bella?" Ben asks.

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You're quivering. You look like you could use a little warming up." Edward says as he skims the outline of my thong with one of his fingers.

He sneaks his thumb and index finger inside, pinching one of my lips.

I squirm.

"Seriously, Bella. Maybe you should wear your coat," Ben says, concerned.

"Ummm, I guess."

I reach for it from the back of my chair, and just as I'm about to slip an arm through one of the sleeves, Edward grazes my clit.

I gasp and jump in my seat, suppressing the moan that's on the verge of escaping my lips.

_Fuck, that felt good. _

Alice looks at me skeptically, raising one of her eyebrows. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Totally. I'm fine."

All the while, Edward's expression is fully composed, appearing unaffected by what he's doing. But I can tell that beneath that exterior, he's holding back a smirk.

A cocky, conceited looking smirk.

The twitching of his lips confirm my suspicions.

It irritates me. Maddens me.

Here I am, squirming in my seat, barely able to keep myself together, and he's acting like _that?_

I don't think so.

Two can play at this game.

Bringing my hand down to the crotch of his pants, I squeeze _down there_. He's hard.

_Ha. _

Guess he's affected after all.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: **I'm aware that the posting of this chaplet broke my daily posting schedule (which wasn't my original intent, btw), so if you were expecting one yesterday, I apologize. I just wanted to take a breather so I could recollect and keep things on track with the storyline. I literally just completed this chaplet and don't want to keep you guys waiting, so for probably the zillionth time, I apologize in advance for any errors. Lol.

Also, I'm still working on my other drabble fic. I already have a few chaplets written, so it'll be posted real soon. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>After our meal, we stroll along the strip of Alki Beach, despite the heavy breeze and darkness. The view of the downtown Seattle city lights from across the water was just too beautiful to pass up.<p>

"Gosh, we're so lucky to live in such a beautiful city," Alice murmurs wistfully.

"Yes, we are," I agree. "It's just too bad the gloominess makes us take it for granted sometimes."

"Yeah."

She points out one of the city towers. I, along with the rest of the group, follow the direction of where she's looking.

"Oh my gosh, how cute is that? That skyscraper has red lights litten up in the shape of a heart…for Valentine's Day!"

I chuckle. "How fitting."

"Do any of you have plans for Valentine's Day?" Angela asks.

I stiffen. What the hell am I supposed to say? Edward and I haven't discussed this topic.

Not that I was expecting anything. But still…what were we? Until now, we've yet to put a label on our relationship.

"This guy from my drama class asked me about my plans but hasn't asked me formally yet. I wouldn't mind spending it with him," Alice shrugs.

"Really? What's his name?" Angela asks, smiling broadly.

"Jasper," she replies softly.

Inspecting her face, I notice a hint of pink on her cheeks.

Hmmm, so it seems I'm not the only one holding information back. Fine with me…for now. Makes me feel less guilty for not telling her about Edward and me.

"What about you, Bella and Edward?" Alice asks, snapping out of her reverie. She stares at me intently, a look of mischief in her eyes.

"I'm not sure," I answer with uncertainty.

"Well, no moping around for you," Alice says sternly.

I roll my eyes. "I know."

"If my classmate doesn't end up asking me, we can have a girl's night in."

From the corner of my eye, I attempt to see Edward's face. But due to the darkness, I can't.

"Ummm…I gue- "

"Oh wait!" Alice interrupts. "Edward, what are _you_ doing?"

"I…don't know," he replies, uncertainty radiating in his voice as well.

"Perhaps you two should do something together."

"But what about-"

"Don't worry about me," Alice waves off. "I could hang out with some of my other single classmates."

"But Alice…" I protest.

"But _nothing_. You two are best friends, have known each other your entire lives, and that's what you're gonna do. Got it?

"For my birthday," she pouts.

"Nice weapon, Alice," I scowl.

"Oh well," she shrugs, smiling smugly. "Looks like you two have a date."

_A date_.

Wow.


	48. Chapter 48

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's almost six thirty pm and my heart's pounding loudly in my chest, my face flushed. Edward's supposed to call at any moment to pick me up from my dorm.<p>

As I stare at my reflection in the mirror while waiting- blue knee length dress, flats, curled hair, and plumped, red lips, I inhale deep breaths in attempt to calm my nerves.

_This is just Edward_, I whisper to myself. _This is just Edward_.

I _hated _being in this position…the waiting…the anticipation. Especially when I had absolutely _no clue _as to where we were going or about to do. Edward wouldn't give anything away…insisted that it all had to be a surprise.

So…here I am waiting, nervous as hell.

But Alice knew what our plans were. Apparently, she had to drag it out of him because she wanted to ensure I'd be dressed appropriately.

It left me irritated, being out of the loop. It wasn't fair.

One thing that did give me a bit of satisfaction, though, is knowing that she was in the same position I'm in for tonight. As it turned out, to my _not so_ utter surprise, Jasper had asked her out. And, like Edward, he wouldn't give Alice the slightest hint of what he had planned. She tried to persuade him, but he wouldn't budge.

That made me like him already. And I haven't even met the guy yet.

So, while attempting to _patiently_ and _calmly _wait for Edward, I keep that in mind.

The door to my dorm room opens and Rosalie walks in. She scans my body, inspecting me. It makes me feel self-conscious.

"Bella, you look real good," she acknowledges.

"Thanks."

"You still don't know where Edward's taking you?"

"Nope." I pause, noticing she's only dressed in jeans and a university tee-shirt. "What are your plans with Royce?"

"_Ugh_," she says, rolling her eyes, "We're done. We broke up a couple days ago."

"Really? Why?"

"I was growing tired of his bullshit. He kept trying to boss me around like a little pet. I don't need that."

"Yeah, you don't. You're an independent person."

She smiles knowingly. "I know."

My phone goes off. Edward had texted me.

My chest rises and falls heavily, the nerves making their return.

"Is that Edward?"

"Yeah. Guess I better head down now."

"Guess so," Rose smirks.

I raise my eyebrow, confused over her expression.

But now's not the time to speculate. Shrugging it off, I open the door. Without paying attention, I make my way out and ram in to someone.

"Oh crap, sorry!"

"It's okay."

I look up, and there he is.

"Edward! How did you get up here? The front doors lock at six."

The corner of his lips tilt up. "Someone let me in the building. I was just about to knock on the door."

"Oops," I blush, staring down at my dress.

Edward's grin widens as he looks over my shoulder. "Thanks, Rosalie."

"No problem," she smiles, her eyes softening as she watches the two of us. "You two have fun."

"We will."

"And Bella?"

I turn my head at her. "Yes?"

"Have a little fun for me tonight, if you know what I mean," she winks.

My face reddening, I gape at her wide eyed, at a loss for words. She's never been this blunt with me when it comes to sex or relationships. What is up with her?

"Uhh, okay."

"I'll make sure she has _tons _of fun," Edward says suggestively as he pinches one of my butt cheeks, causing me to jump.

He and Rose laugh at my reaction.

"Okay, let's do this right."

Edward draws his attention towards a large, beautiful bouquet of flowers that's cradled on his left arm.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella."

Blushing, I shyly accept them as he kisses my cheek.

"Thank you," I murmur.

The flowers are beautiful. They aren't the typical roses or lilies one would receive on a "holiday" like today. What I see before me is an array of wildflowers. Purple, white, gold and blue...I don't know their exact names, as I'm not particularly a flower enthusiast, but they're gorgeous nonetheless.

I couldn't help but be amused at the purple and gold.

"Ooh, look Rosalie. Keeping the Dawg Pride alive," I chuckle. "Purple and gold."

Edward rolls his eyes with a smile as she laughs along with me.

"Nice."

"How did you manage to get wildflowers in _February_?" I ask.

"Don't worry about it," he waves it off as if it were no big deal.

"But I hope you like them. I know they're different…"

"Yeah, they are different," I say absentmindedly as I run my fingers along one of the pedals.

"Is that good or bad?" he chuckles, suddenly looking insecure.

I meet his eyes. "It's _wonderful_. These flowers are beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

He smiles, relieved. "You're welcome."

"I'll need to get a vase for these though..." I contemplate as I absentmindedly chew on my lower lip.

"I have one you could use," Rosalie says. "I'll take care of it. You two just go ahead."

"Thanks, Rosalie" I smile.

And with that, Edward and I are finally off on our first official date.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: **Sorry I haven't posted the past few days. My sister was visiting from out of town and I've been busy with other things. So as a head's up, from now on I'll be updating 5 times a week at minimum. Should be more than that, but I just want to give a worst case scenario so you don't expect something more and get disappointed.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Fortunately, the weather's cooperative for tonight- no rain, not <em>too <em>cold, clear skies. As Edward drives along the freeway, I stare out the passenger side window, gazing at the stars.

"Are you going to tell me where we're headed yet?"

He smirks. "After all this time keeping it from you? I don't think so, Bella."

I huff, exhaling loudly.

Oh well. It was worth a shot.

I'm just glad that my anxiety receded for the most part. The only thing that was really nagging at me now was the anticipation of where we were headed.

Lost in thought, I jump in my seat when my phone goes off inside my purse.

It's a text from Jacob.

Not bothering to look at it for now, I tuck my phone back inside. Tonight's about Edward, and I don't want any distractions.

Especially from him, for some reason.

From inside my purse, I shut my phone off.

What does Jacob want from me right now, anyway?

"What's wrong?" Edward asks.

"Nothing."

He eyes me suspiciously. "You look sort of irritated."

Aaaand there goes perspective Edward.

"I just don't want any interruptions."

"It's just me, Bella. I don't mind. If there was some other guy that wanted to spent time with you tonight, I'm -"

For some reason, he almost looks…_sad_. And I don't like that. At all.

"There is no other guy, Edward. This is a special occasion and I don't want it interrupted, like I said."

Silence.

He looks thoughtful. Contemplative. "Alright," he says simply.


	50. Chapter 50

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Less than a half hour later, Edward and I are standing on a waterfront boat dock that overlooks the Puget Sound.<p>

Now I understand why Alice selected flats for me to wear rather than the usual heels. Heaven forbid I fall on my ass while the boat sways.

"How the hell did you manage to get a _boat_, Edward?"

He fakes a wounded, hurt expression. "Hey now, just because I'm a med student doesn't mean I'm _completely _broke, you know."

I roll my eyes. "You know what I mean."

He chuckles. "It's Emmett's. I'm loaning it from him for the night."

"Ahhh, I see."

"Well, let's do this."

Stepping on to the boat first, Edward lifts me up from the dock and sets me down safely.

"Thank you."

With soft eyes, he gives me a crooked smile. "You're welcome."

While he leans over the boat to loosen and unfasten the boat cables, I realize the reality of the situation.

We'll be spending the evening on this boat.

Alone.

No distractions from the outside world. No bustling of vehicles, no people. Just us.

In the pit of my stomach, I have a knowing feeling that tonight, things are going to change.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I know I'm dragging out their Valentine's Day, but it seems necessary for me. I'm about to work on the next chaplet, so hopefully by the end of tonight/wee hrs. of the morning there'll be a new one. :o)


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: **My home's filled with distractions at the moment, so hopefully this chaplet turned out alright. Lol.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward had obviously put a lot of thought in to tonight.<p>

Inside the cabin, our meal awaits us. Salmon and asparagus, mashed potatoes and rice…

Everything was cooked. Home made.

Just by the look and aroma, I could tell. Esme had prepared this exact meal numerous times. It was one of my favorites.

And the décor of the cabin…_goodness_.

Pink and red rose petals are splayed out across the floor and bed.

A single white rose is settled in the center of the mattress.

An ice filled bucket holding a bottle of champagne sits on a small table against the wall.

And before I know it, music fills the air. Edward had turned on the sound system, a song I don't recognize playing in the background.

The only thing that's missing is candlelight.

"I would have used candles but figured that wouldn't be wise…what with us being on a boat and all," Edward says, as if he could read my mind.

"How did you come up with this? With the meal?" I ask, completely taken aback. I place a hand over my chest.

"I wanted to do something special for you. And I know how much you love mom's cooking, so I figured I couldn't fail with some of her recipes," Edward smiles, his voice soft.

Overcome with emotion, my eyes mist up with unshed tears. I was fully aware of how long it takes to prepare a meal like this. Edward spent all that time, all that effort…on me. On this. For tonight. And not only that, but to go through the trouble of borrowing Emmett's boat, of preparing this setting…I couldn't believe it.

"Thank you, Edward," I say, choked up. "This is one of the most thoughtful, sweetest things anyone's ever done for me."

"You're welcome."

I turn around to face him. He's watching me intently, his eyes searching my face, my eyes.

"What?"

"I just want to make sure I'm doing this right. I don't want you to get overwhelmed or think that I'm expecting something from you…that I'm trying to take advantage of you…because I'm not."

"I know."

Standing on my tiptoes, I meet my lips with his. It starts off soft, completely innocent and chaste, but before long it turns in to much more than that.

Our kisses become more frantic. Intense. Lust driven. Things start to heat up.

But Edward stops abruptly and steps back, his hands grasping my shoulders.

"I think we should eat first…not let this food go to waste. What do you think?" he says, his face dancing with amusement and mischief.

I sigh. "You're right."

"So, do you want to eat outside or inside? Your call."

"Inside," I answer with no hesitation. "I don't want this wonderful meal to grow cold before I'm done eating it."

He smirks. "Inside it is, then."

We both sit cross-legged on the bed, facing each other. I try to act nonchalant and not stare at Edward every five seconds, but it's a lost cause. It doesn't escape his notice, either. Each time I chance a peek at him, he's already looking at me, a smile spread across his face.

So much for playing it cool.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **Still writing…


	52. Chapter 52

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Was the meal okay? I wasn't sure if I followed the directions right…"<p>

"It was more than _okay_, Edward," I assure him as I bend forward for a kiss. "It was one of the best meals I've ever had."

"Ha, now you're just stroking my ego."

"If I wanted to stroke anything, it wouldn't be your ego," I tease suggestively as I place my hand above one of his knees.

"Is that so?" he smirks.

"Yes."

It's been nearly two hours since Edward launched Emmett's boat from the dock, and we've yet to step outside the cabin.

Well, I haven't. But Edward had, only to ensure the boat was at a decent spot.

I've been perfectly content peeking out from one of the windows.

"So…there was something else I had planned. But it's sort of cheesy," Edward says as he watches my hand.

"Oh? What did you want to do?"

"Uhhh, nothing really. It's no big deal."

"Hey, now. You can't leave me hanging! What is it?" I press.

"Well…" he starts, "I was planning on reading to you. Like how I did years ago."

If it were possible to turn in to a pile of mush, I would have undoubtedly become one right this instant. Edward really had thought up of everything for tonight. Crossed his _t_'s, dotted his _i_'s. It amazes me, seeing him turn in to such a romantic.

"It doesn't sound cheesy at all, Edward. I'd _love _to have you read to me."

"Really?"

I smile encouragingly. "Of course. You know I love your voice."

And then suddenly, throwing me off guard, Edward's eyes darken. "I know."

His eyes are frozen on my lips, and it's obvious where his mind is headed. I want more than anything to follow his lead, but I keep in mind that tonight is different…special. And I want to follow through on his plans. On what he worked so hard for, for tonight.

"Edward," I say, snapping him out of his trance. "What did you have to read?"

He blinks his eyes as if to clear his head. "Ummm…your favorite book."

"Really? _Withering Heights_? _So _fitting for Valentine's Day," I tease.

His face flushes a little. _So cute_. "I know, but I figured you wouldn't mind since it's your favorite and the depressing shit never got-"

"_Edward_."

"Yes?"

"Read to me."

And so he reads while I rest my head on his lap, his fingers stroking through my hair with his free hand. After awhile, I begin to snap in and out of consciousness, and Edward becomes aware of it.

"You want to head back?"

"No." I mumble, shaking my head.

"You're getting tired, though."

"No, I'm not."

He chuckles. "Whatever, Bella. It's probably getting a little late to be out in the water, anyway."

"_Hmph_," I breathe on to his thigh. "I don't want tonight to end. I wanna stay with you."

Edward doesn't respond for awhile, leaving me on edge.

Should I have not said that?

But when he finally speaks up, he eases my concern.

"Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I've already started on the next chaplet and will try to update in the next few hours.


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: **It's late and I've been working on this chaplet (pretty much chapter) for awhile, so hopefully there aren't many mistakes. Lol. I'll fix them if I (or any one of you) catch any.

I also must say, I'm taken aback by the response I've been receiving- all faves/alerts, etc. I've been receiving in my inbox... Thank you!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"I'm warning you, Bella. You're going to be in for quite a sight once you see the kitchen. Promise you won't freak out?" Edward questions, examining my face as he unlocks the front door to his apartment.<p>

He almost looks hesitant, as if he's contemplating on even allowing me inside. Surely it couldn't be _that_ bad.

But he does know that I tend to be quite anal when it comes to maintaining the kitchen and overall cleanliness throughout a home. Charlie's house...even my _dorm_...is evidence of that. I've always been that way, thanks to Esme and her housecleaning etiquette.

I exhale loudly. "I'll try not to. How's that?"

He sighs. "I guess that's all I can ask for."

As I make my way from the entryway towards the living room, I freeze in my tracks.

From my peripheral vision, I can't help but notice the war zone that Edward had just recently called _kitchen_.

Dirty pots, pans, trays, and cooking utensils of all kinds fill his entire sink. Crumbs of various powders and seasonings decorate the counters. Even the floor and fridge received some impact.

_Geesh_.

"Did the Tasmanian Devil make a visit?" I ask, gaping at the sight.

"I told you I didn't know what I was doing…" Edward says defensively from beside me.

"Just because you made a mess doesn't mean you didn't know what you were doing, silly," I say, shaking my head. "We should clean this up."

"_Oh no, you don't_," Edward insists. "You're not here to play house maid."

"Oh _come on_, Edward. It's the least I could do after all you've done."

"_No_," he says with a tone that tells me he means business. He's set concrete on this one.

I huff. "_Fine_."

"I'll take care of it later." Edward pulls out a box of matches from one of the drawers and lights a scented candle.

"There. That should take some of the fishy smell away," he nods to himself, referring to the left over scent of salmon that's lingered.

"What do you want to do?" I ask, plopping down on to the living room couch. "Since I can't help you with your kitchen and all," I mutter sarcastically.

"Well," he says, settling down beside me, "you said you wanted to stay with me, so you decide."

"Yeah…but we're at your place. You're the host." I counter.

"Yeah…entertaining a guest that practically demanded her welcome."

I scoff. "Yeah, right."

And then I remember… I haven't given Edward his gift yet!

_Goodness…some date _I _am_.

"Ummm…Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I forgot to give you your Valentine's Day gift," I murmur sheepishly.

He waves me off. "I don't need anything. I'm just glad you had a good time tonight."

Brushing off his statement, I reach in to my purse and pull out his gift. "Here."

"You really don't have to, Bella."

I ignore his protests and hand it to him.

I watch his face as he unwraps the small package, feeling nervous, unsure. I hope he likes the thought I put in to his gift, even though it makes me feel vulnerable. Exposed. Naked. Mushy and sentimental.

"It's a…flashdrive," he says, his eyes showing confusion.

"Yes," I chuckle. "Plug it in to your laptop."

"Okay."

Moments later, a slideshow of photos of us from over the years fill the screen. From my newborn days, to my toddler years, up until now.

"I asked Esme to scan some old pictures and e-mail them to me," I explain.

"Wow."

"Yeah, it's crazy looking at all of these, huh?"

"It is. We've been through a lot," he murmurs, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"There's something else in the flashdrive, too."

"Oh? What is it?"

I take the laptop from him and open another folder. It contains songs…_lots _of them, that have some sort of significance or meaning in our relationship. The lyrics to most of them don't actually apply to us in the literal sense, but they do serve as some type of time marker or milestone. Like the first Journey song he played for me. The first song I recall him singing to me. The first song he told me he _disliked_, even.

All that mattered was that these songs reminded me of him in some way. Brought back memories. Good ones.

"Bella…I…don't know what to say," Edward says, his voice cracking. "This is the best gift anyone's ever given me."

I release a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "I'm glad you like it."

"Thank you."

"No…thank _you_. For being there for me since day one. _Literally_. For being you. I don't know who I'd be without you, Edward."

"Neither do I."

He turns to face me, his eyes radiating so much intensity it nearly takes my breath away.

"I love you, Bella."

My heart stills.

He didn't just say what I think he said. Did he?

And could he possibly mean it the way I think he does? The way I _hope _he does?

"What did you say?"

"I _said_," Edward smiles his crooked grin, "I love you."

_Wow_. He really did say it.

"I love you, too."

He searches my eyes as if he's seeking out some sort of answer.

"Really?"

"Yes."

He hesitates. "I'm not talking about the kind of love I've expressed before, Bella."

"Neither am I."

Silence.

Our eyes are locked on each other. The intensity…the spell…the electricity that's been building up all evening between Edward and me has finally reached its peak.

I'm ready to be with him.

Edward raises a hand and gently traces the outline of my face with his index finger. It leaves a tingling sensation, causing goosebumps to rise on my flesh.

For the first time, I understand what people mean when they say love makes them feel weak and helpless, yet strong and empowered at the same time.

It never made sense to me how one could experience such conflicting emotions in one particular moment in time. But it does now. Because I'm experiencing them for myself. Right this second.

"Edward," I whisper.

"Yes?"

"I want to be with you."

"As in...sexually?"

I suppress a giggle. His voice sounds so...innocent._  
><em>

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"_Positive_."

There's a long pause before Edward takes one of my hands and softly kisses the tip of each finger. He repeats the motion with the other.

And then he cups my face with both of his hands. He kisses each of my eyelids. My forehead. My cheeks. The tip of my nose. My chin. Finally, he lingers on my eagerly awaiting lips.

There's no tongue. No urge to rush. There's tenderness. Love. Adoration.

"Come with me."

We walk in to Edward's room and lay ourselves down onto his king size bed.

He hovers over me, leaning down to kiss my exposed neck.

"I want to make this good for you." He breathes onto my shoulder.

"You will. I trust you."

"Let me know if you want to stop or hurt too much, okay?"

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Slowly, Edward unbuttons and releases my dress, followed by my shoes. He stares down at me with hooded eyelids, acknowledging the lacey lingerie Alice had chosen for me.

"Beautiful," he murmurs.

Leaning down, he takes each lace-covered nipple in to his mouth and tugs on them gently with his teeth. I yelp and squirm in response, eager for more.

He unhooks my bra and grasps my breasts, massaging them while sucking on each nipple deliberately.

While continuing to nip and suck, lick and nibble, Edward heads further south. My heart pounds at my ribcage erratically, anticipating what's to come.

"Your skin tastes _so good_, Isabella," Edward groans. "You know that?"

"Ungh," I moan in response.

"What do you want me to do next? What do you want me to do to make you feel good?" he whispers against my stomach.

I shiver.

"I want you to take off your clothes."

He immediately obeys my request.

After fully stripping, he settles himself between my legs. He lifts my right leg, taking his time kissing along the entire inner length until he's inches away from my center, followed by my right.

I'm frustrated, soaking, _aching_, eagerly anticipating the attention my most sensitive spot yearns for.

"_Please_," I whimper.

After removing the rest of my lingerie, the tip of Edward's tongue flicks at my clit repeatedly, eliciting a gasp. I lift my hips involuntarily, but within seconds, Edward's hands pin me down, keeping me locked in place. Forming fists with my hands, I grasp onto the bed sheets and squeeze with all I've got.

"Oh, _Edward_," I moan, my voice sounding unfamiliar.

"Mmmm," he groans against my sex.

And then too soon for my liking, he pulls his head back.

"_Hey_," I whine.

"Sorry," he smiles apologetically. "But if you want me, you better have me now, because I don't know how long I can hold off."

"Oh, okay," I blush.

From his bedside drawer, Edward pulls out a condom. Just as he's about to rip off the foil, I grab a hold of his wrist.

"Edward…?"

"Yes?" he looks at me questionably.

"I want to feel _you_. Without any barriers."

"But Bella-"

"Could you pull out? _Please_, Edward…this is my first time."

After a few seconds of silent deliberation and staring in to my eyes, he agrees.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" Edward chuckles against my lips as he's about to slip between my slick folds.

"As you'll be the death of _me_," I smile.

With his tip right at my entrance, I feel him work his way up inside me slowly, inch by inch.

For some reason, I don't feel a trace of nervousness. Of stress. Of self-consciousness. As Edward whispers soothing words in to my ear, I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. Like I'm _home_.

Suddenly tears fill my eyes.

"Are you alright, baby?"

Edward kisses them away.

I nod my head. "Yes. Just overwhelmed. I love you _so much_, Edward."

"I love you, too," he replies, his voice trembling.

Edward kisses me deeply and with one last push, he fills me completely. His entire dick is finally buried deep inside me.

"Damn, you're so _tight_," he cries out, almost as if he were in pain.

A new set of tears spring at my eyes, this time caused by the stinging and rawness of my newly ripped flesh. Edward wipes them away and keeps still for several seconds, allowing me time to adjust. And then after some subtle thrusts of his pelvis, the pain slowly gets replaced by pleasure.

"Is it getting any better?" he asks a few minutes later.

"A little bit."

Before long, Edward and I find ourselves in a complete frenzy. We're sweating, panting, moaning and groaning each other's names…

And then Edward's thumb meets my clit.

"Oh, _fuck_," I moan as I shut my eyes in pleasure.

"Cum on my cock, Isabella. I wanna feel your pussy eat at my dick."

"_Edward_," I pant.

"Does it feel good?" he urges, adding more pressure on to my clit.

"_Yes_."

"Then let go. Let my dick know how good it makes you feel."

That's all it takes to send me over the edge.

"Oh my _god_," Edward moans, his eyes half closed. "Your pussy's so tight…"

My body convulses beneath him uncontrollably, and I lose all sense of everything except the tingling I feel down below. Edward captures my mouth with his, swallowing down my screams and cries of pleasure.

Just seconds in to my climax, Edward's on the verge of joining me. "Oh…Bella…I'm about to cum…"

He gasps. "Oh _shit_."

Edward pulls his penis out and spurts of cum ooze out, landing on the palm that's cupped over the head. Once the last bit of cum is released, his face flushes, embarrassed. "Ugh, sorry. This is disgusting."

I smile at him softly. "No, it's not."

"Whatever you say." He rolls his eyes. "Excuse me for a bit."

Edward enters the adjoining bathroom while I lay flat on my back and stare at the ceiling, completely content. Despite the aching at my center, my body feels relaxed. I could spend the rest of the night just like this- naked, on Edward's bed.

And hopefully he'd be naked along with me.

"How are you?" Edward asks when he joins me.

"I'm _great_," I smile. "You?"

Edward gives me a large, crooked grin. "Never been better."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **Sooo, *gasp* what do you think?

I more than likely won't be updating tomorrow, or the day after. I have a couple books lying around that are _dying _to be read. Hope this ch. makes up in advance for the absence!


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: **Sorry it took awhile for me to update. Busy weekend. I didn't even finish the last book I wanted to read, but w/e. lol.

Anyway, for those that may be curious about my other drabble, I decided to delay it for the time being. The way it looks right now is completely different than this one, and I might change it…haven't decided yet. Like I said, though, I already wrote a few chaplets. I'll let you know when I post it, or if you'd like, you can add me on Author Alert.

Alright, let's do this…

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>When I enter my dorm room the following afternoon, I meet a pair of mischievous blue eyes. Rosalie's inspecting me from head to toe, not bothering to disguise the fact that she's giving me the once over.<p>

Avoiding her stare, and the topic I'm fairly certain she's going to bring up at any second, I make my way towards my side of the room. Before I even get a chance to drop my purse onto my bed, though, she gets straight to the point.

"So, was he good?" she asks with a sly grin.

As memories from last night…and this _morning_, even, flood my mind for perhaps the billionth time, I blush. I can't believe that I'm going to have my first conversation of having sex with Edward with _Rosalie._ "'_Good__' _doesn't even begin to describe it," I murmur softly. "He was…"

"Amazing? Fuck awesome? Mind blowing? Out of this world?"

My goodness, could I feel _any __more _uncomfortable right now?

My face reddening even deeper, I nod my head. "Mmmhmmm."

"Not surprising," she smirks. "What did he do to 'woo' you?"

Giving her a brief, general run down of last night's date, I realize she wasn't really kidding when she mentioned living vicariously through me. She was practically acting like any other girlfriend would, which I have to admit, was rather sort of…_odd_. I never would have thought this side of her existed, as the past several months of having known her, she'd always held a tough exterior. It's sort of nice…refreshing…seeing this new side of Rosalie Hale, though. For the first time, I feel like I'm actually bonding with her.

"_Wow_…I didn't realize guys like him still existed," she says, sounding genuinely surprised once I've finished. "Does he have any brothers or friends?" she jokes.

"He's an only child. Sorry," I smirk. "But I'm not sure about his friends..."

After a few seconds, an awkward silence hovers over us. And for the first time, I witness an uncomfortable Rosalie.

What could it be?

"Ummm, this is totally _none_ of my business, and I understand if you don't want to answer my question," she starts, avoiding my eyes, "but I'm curious…have you had sex _at __all_ before last night?"

"Uhhh…"

This is _so _embarrassing. I feel like such a child...

"I take that as a 'no'," she says softly as she notes my increased discomfort.

"You're right," I confirm as I keep my eyes trained on the floor.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," Rosalie affirms, her voice firm. "I wish I could have waited for the right guy."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you?"

Startling me, she laughs, as if my question were some kind of joke. I stare at her quizzically. "Let's save that for another time."

"Ummm, okay."

"But know this. If you really, truly love him, don't let him go, Bella. Guys like Edward don't come along everyday."

"I don't plan to."

"Good," she smiles, flashing her pearly white, flawless teeth. "Well, just know that you can talk to me about _anything _at any time. Sex can be some serious shit. So don't be shy or hesitant, alright?"

"Alright."

She nods to herself. "Good. I feel like mother hen all of a sudden," she snickers.

I laugh along with her. "Nothing wrong with that. I may need you some time soon."

"Oh, hon, I'm pretty certain you will."

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** K, so, a little more of Rosalie... :o)

fyi, if any of you are wondering how long this drabble's going to be, it's hard for me to say right now. If I were to follow my original outline, it would be over half way done by now, but I honestly don't see that happening. We'll see...

Now, on to writing the next chaplet. 'til next time. :o)


	55. Chapter 55

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>On Sunday afternoon, Alice, Ang, and I meet up at a café that's fairly equidistant between our Universities.<p>

Alice and I arrive before Angela, so Alice offers to save us a table while I place our orders. As I stand in the crowded line waiting my turn, I can practically feel her eyes boring in to my back. She's been acting out of character during our entire bus ride over. More…observant…suspicious…curious, than usual. In fact, there's even been a slight trace of _hurt_ in her facial expression every now and then.

I suspect…in fact I'm almost _certain_, that it has to do with the fact that I haven't been as open with her as I know I should have been. To both her _and _Angela. It's been three days now, and I've yet to tell them that Edward and I had slept together. Even after they asked me how our Valentine's Day evening went. The only person that knows until now, other than Edward, _obviously_, is Rose.

It made me feel _awful_. But I just didn't feel comfortable talking about this sort of thing over the phone, text, online, or _whatever_.

So that's why, now that the three of us are all finally meeting together in person, that's about to change.


	56. Chapter 56

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"<em>No <em>_way_."

"Ang, don't be so surprised. Remember how Bella was all squirmy at the dinner table at Salty's?"

"Yeah…"

And then, something inside her clicks. Angela's facial expression morphs from confusion, to realization, to complete utter disbelief. Her eyes look like they're about to bulge out of their sockets.

I blush. _Thanks __a __lot, __Alice_.

"_Nooo__…_"

"Yes."

"_Nooo__…_"

"Yes."

"_Nooo__…_"

This exchange between my two best girlfriends continues for _at __least_ another minute. _No, __yes,__ no,__ yes,__ no,__ yes_… It's like watching a never ending ping pong match.

"Ugh, enough already!" I sigh, exasperated. "It's true, Angela."

"_Wow_."

I suppress the intense urge to roll my eyes. _I __guess__ that__'__s__ better__ than__ hearing__ '__no__' __or__ '__yes__'__._

"Well, now that you two know practically _everything_ about Edward and me, it's _your_ turn, Alice."

Her cheeks start to flush, a rare sight to see on her light, ivory skin. This Jasper guy must really be special. I've never seen her react this way for anyone she's fancied in the past.

"_Well_…" she starts.

"Did you and Jasper do it, too?"

Surprised at the straightforwardness of Ang's question, Alice gapes at her in shock. "Geez, what happened to shy, modest Angela?" Alice laughs.

"Sorry," Angela blushes. "It's just…I don't know…"

"I'm kidding, Ang. It's totally fine."

It appears that Alice and Jasper had known each other ever since Autumn Quarter. Or…at least met. He was at the frat party she and I attended the night Edward and Emmett picked us up.

Apparently, he kept her company at one of the restrooms because she thought she was on the verge of throwing up.

Which she did…

So, _that_ explains her sudden disappearance from me that night. I never bothered to ask for any details because I figured the booze had blacked her out.

"Why didn't you tell me about him then?" I ask.

"I don't know. There wasn't really much to tell," she shrugs. "I mean…I felt _something_ then, but we were a _frat __party_ and trashed, you know? You can't really expect much. And having him see me lying down on that _filthy _bathroom floor, looking _completely __disgusting_…" she gags, "I was at my worst. Not the best way to attract a guy."

"Well, he's still around. That's a good thing," Angela assures.

"I agree. When do we get to meet him?"

"Ummm…" Alice starts.

"You're not getting all shy on us now," I say to her firmly.

"I know! It's just that…"

"What?" Angela and I ask eagerly at the same time.

"He's coming home with us for Spring Break. He's from Texas and his parents are going to be overseas for a business trip at the time, so I figured I'd ask him to come along..." she blushes.

"Isn't that a bit much, Alice?" Angela asks.

"No," she replies in a heartbeat. "I know this may appear as going too fast, but it feels right with him."

I smile, my heart warming at the sight before me, at this new Alice. She's so adorable, practically glowing.

This Spring Break is going to be something else.

"Are you and Edward going to let your families know about you two?" Alice asks.

I exhale loudly. "That's a good question."


	57. Chapter 57

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>March, 2007<strong>

You know that feeling of semi-consciousness when you're half-awake, half-asleep? Like when you're sleeping, but somehow your brain is still aware of your literal surroundings?

Well, that's me at the moment.

My neck is stiff, aching as my head rests back against the passenger seat headrest of Edward's Volvo. My mouth is halfway open, my eyelids heavy.

"Bella, we're home," Edward murmurs in to my ear as he gently shakes me back to complete consciousness.

"Ugh, no," I grumble, scrunching my eyelids.

"Wake up, sleepy head." He tugs at my earlobe with his sharp teeth.

"Oh!" I jolt up.

Edward laughs wholeheartedly. Before I get the opportunity to chastise him, I hear someone yell our names from the Cullens' front porch.

"Edward! Bella!"

_Damnit_.

For the first time this school year, I'm _not_ excited to visit Forks.

Sure, I missed Charlie and Jacob terribly, but Edward and I were going to lay things low during our stay. At least for the time being. We agreed that if we both felt comfortable enough after the first couple days, we'd just be ourselves and let everyone put two and two together.

We were both being complete chicken shits.

It's just that the mere thought of telling Esme and Carlisle, whom I consider my second set of parents, that I'm dating their _son _is nerve-wracking. Because how would they react? There's never been a doubt in my mind that they perceived me as a daughter. But could they see me as being a member of their family in _that _way? As Edward's partner? I wasn't certain. If they were to approve of me, that would be _wonderful_. But if they didn't…I don't know how I'd handle it. It would break my heart.

Exhaling loudly, I stretch in my seat before opening the door. Charlie and Sue are already making their way towards us, grinning from ear to ear.

"Here we go," I mumble.


	58. Chapter 58

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I knew today was going to be awkward. I just knew it.<p>

Especially now that Jacob and his family have arrived.

The second he walks in through the front door, already charging towards me, his face completely lights up, beaming with exuberant joy.

I didn't need to look at Edward to know that he's already annoyed with his presence. Especially since he arrived so soon.

We haven't even settled in to our rooms yet.

But I couldn't help but smile at the sight, my unease of anticipating this moment fading instantly. The energy radiating off from Jacob is just too contagious to ignore. His positive, vibrant aura has always had that effect on me.

Once he reaches me, he lifts me up from the floor and twirls me around, completely oblivious to everyone in the room.

It leaves me dizzy, my head spinning. I'm on the verge of losing my balance and falling flat on my face, but fortunately he grabs a hold of me and stands me upright.

"_Geez,_ Jacob. Thanks for the greeting."

"Ha, no problem, Bells," he laughs loudly. "I've missed you so much! When your dad called mine to tell him you were here, we just _had_ to come. I couldn't wait."

He grabs a hold of me once again and pulls me in to his arms, squeezing me tightly against his chest. He feels so warm. Firm. Muscular. Hard as stone. _Goodness_, how can this guy only be a high school student? He practically has the body of a professional athlete.

Against my ear, I hear his heart beating rapidly, thumping loudly. And suddenly I feel uncomfortable.

"Let's go eat. Esme prepared some food," I suggest as I pull myself back, putting some space between us.

He insists on accompanying me to the dining room, but I persuade him to go ahead without me. I tell him that I need to bring my belongings upstairs to my room and take care of some other 'things'.

Like spending some time alone with Edward. Even if it's only for a couple minutes.

While Jacob walks away, I look over at him. His jaw is set firm, his eyes vacant as he stares at a wall.

Oh boy.

He is _not _happy. At all.

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** Remember this. I cannot _stand_ SM's Jacob. So don't worry.

Also, some chaplets may not be as descriptive as others and have more simple, straight to the point sentences. You may have noticed that already, but just wanna say it straight up. It depends on my mood and what works for me at the moment. Remember, this fic is unbeta'ed. Hope the flow's still okay, though.


	59. Chapter 59

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's a good thing I texted Alice and asked her and Jasper to come over.<p>

Because if I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to avoid Jacob without good reason.

And I wanted to.

He was being _way_ too clingy and touchy-feely for my liking the past couple hours. Rubbing my arms, squeezing my shoulders… even playing with my hair. Which he'd never done before.

I didn't like it.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asks as she hugs me hello.

"No. I want to go back to Seattle," I mutter.

"Already?" she giggles. "We haven't even been in Forks for an entire _day_."

"Yeah, hon. Don't you miss us?" Esme half-teases as she joins us at the doorway.

_Oops_.

I hadn't realized she was nearby.

"Is my cooking that bad?" she continues.

"Are you kidding me? _Of__ course __not_." I retort. "There's absolutely _nothing _like your cooking, Esme. No one even comes _close_."

"Not even me?" Edward asks from across the living room.

"Uhhh…" I start to blush, thinking back to Valentine's Day while Alice smirks knowingly.

Okay…so maybe there is _one _person who gives Esme a run for her money. Because everything I've tasted of Edward's so far has been delicious.

_Including his anatomy…_

"Edward's cooked for you?" Esme grins, her eyes twinkling.

"Mom, don't act so surprised. I do live on my own, you know. "

"True," she coincides, looking contemplative. "How often do you two see each other?"

"Every once in awhile. We mainly text," he responds with a straight face.

_Liar_.

We practically see each other every day. Which is a miracle, considering our busy schedules.

Before the conversation could get any further, Alice steps in and introduces Jasper to Esme. Edward and I had already met him a few weeks ago, shortly after Alice's, Ang's, and my get together at the café.

Jasper was everything I expected him to be for Alice. And more. He was charming, genuine, attentive. He was patient, understanding…empathetic. Between Alice's exuberance and his tranquility, they balanced each other out perfectly.

I was happy for them. They undeniably deserved each other.

At around eight o'clock, Carlisle, Charlie and Sue enter the living room from the kitchen, followed by Jacob and Billy.

"You guys aren't leaving, are you?" Esme asks, turning her head towards them.

"Umm, I live here, honey," Carlisle chuckles.

She rolls her eyes playfully. "You know who I'm talking to, silly."

"We've already worn out our welcome, Esme," Billy smiles.

"_Nonsense._ You guys must stay for dessert. I have a couple homemade pecan pies that I baked earlier this morning. It's _not _going to waste."

"Are you sure?"

"_Positive_."

So, back to the dining room everyone goes.

It's a good thing the Cullens' table sits eight. While everyone's taking their seats, Edward and I practically beg Esme to let us eat at the nearby kitchen island.

When no one's looking, I pinch his ass cheek.

Shocked, his eyes bug out slightly as his mouth forms an 'o'.

"You bad girl," he whispers, only loud enough for me to hear.

I smirk.

A few minutes later, he reciprocates the gesture. And me, being the overly animated, jumpy person I am, fidget and squeal.

"Bells, are you alright?" Jacob asks, concerned.

"Yeah. Just thought I saw something," I lie.

He eyes me skeptically as he arches his brow, obviously not believing me.

Edward and I remain quiet for the most part as we listen to the mingling taking place at the table. Our fingers are linked together beneath the surface of the island, hidden from everyone's view. His parents and Charlie are animatedly telling Jasper and Alice stories of us from our childhood and teen years, before he left for Seattle.

And then Billy brings Jacob in to the conversation.

"You know," he chuckles softly a few minutes later, "I always thought Bella and Jacob would end up together."

"_Dad_," Jacob hisses, horrified. His face is beet red, clearly embarrassed.

As am I.

I don't need to glance in the mirror to know I'm blushing scarlet right along with him.

Talk about _awkward_. Especially with Edward right beside me.

I turn to him and see that his eyes are downcast on the counter. He looks…_sad_. Hurt, even. Squeezing his hand, I sneak my thumb inside his palm and make small, circular motions.

And then I couldn't help but notice a few people's expressions. Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Charlie, in particular.

Alice looks…shocked and uncomfortable. Jasper looks…sympathetic. Esme looks…concerned.

And Charlie's expression looks one of curiousness. He's eyeing Edward and me peculiarly.

And then he starts, "You know, Renee thought the same...but with her and Edward."

_Goodness__ gracious_. _Thanks a lot, Charlie. I feel _much _more comfortable now._

I'm beyond mortified at this point. But it doesn't overrule the sudden urge I have to just air out the laundry, so to speak, and tell everyone that Edward and I are together.

Before I get the chance to utter a word, though, Esme speaks up. "Okay…enough of making our children uncomfortable, men," she laughs softly. "Whatever happens, happens. Let them be."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **In case you're wondering, the reason why the Cullens have such a large dining table is because Esme throws gatherings every once in awhile for her volunteer work. :o) Plus _c'mon_...it's the Cullens!


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N:**Thanks to everyone who reviews and adds me and/or this fic to your faves/alerts, etc. It's really motivating and makes my day! :D

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>At around one am, my bed stirs, my sheets shifting. Edward joins me beneath the covers, instantly warming me with his body heat.<p>

"Edward?"

"Yes?" he whispers as he wraps me against his firm chest. He places a soft kiss on my forehead, letting his lips linger for a few moments.

"Hey," I murmur on to his tee shirt.

"Hey."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Are you holding up okay after this evening?" I ask. I lean my head back slightly in order to examine his eyes. They never fail to tell me the truth. So he can't lie, even if he wanted to.

Edward releases a soft sigh. "I'm hanging in there," he replies as he lifts a hand to run his index finger along the contours of my face. "What about you?"

"Ehhhh. Alright, I guess." I pause. "You know, I was real close to outing us during dessert."

"_Really?_" he asks with surprise, his eyes widening. "What stopped you?"

I self-consciously avert my eyes. "Esme. She spoke up after Charlie made that comment. And then I lost my...courage, I guess you could say."

"Oh," he says simply, his eyes thoughtful. "It wasn't because Jacob was there?"

"Of course not," my voice rises, surprised he would even entertain that thought. "What makes you think that?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. "I've just seen the way he looks at you, Bella."

"Yeah? So?"

"I know that look. He's smitten by you."

"Smitten?" I giggle, covering my mouth with my hand. "That's a new one. I never heard you say that before."

He smiles, but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"But anyway, would you have been upset if I told them?"

After a few moments of contemplation he replies, "I'm not sure. I think I would have been more in shock, than anything else."

"Understandable. I just wanted to hold you so badly."

"Me too. But I'm here now, aren't I?" he chuckles quietly.

"Yes, you are."

I slip in to a peaceful slumber after a few minutes. But sometime later, I get woken up by soft thrusts and a growing hardness pressed right at my center.

It takes my breath away, causing a gasp to escape my lips.

"_Ohh_."

"_Ohh,__ Bella_," Edward moans.

While bringing his mouth to mine, he continues thrusting aggressively, his member growing harder and harder by the second. Unable to stifle the noises that are escaping from both of us, he deepens the kiss and meets my tongue. His taste drives me in to a frenzy, nearly making me forget that his parents' room is just down the hall. The timing is so wrong, knowing that they're nearby and could catch us at any given moment; but he just feels too good, tastes too good…and I can't get enough.

I bring one of my hands down and reach inside his pajama pants, meeting bare flesh. He takes a sharp intake of breath.

"Hmmm, no underwear, huh?"

"No underwear," Edward confirms, his breathing heavy.

"Good. Lay on your back."

He complies and I immediately straddle him, settling on my knees while gazing down at him. The intensity reflecting off from his haunting, green eyes are full of hunger. Desire. Want. I'm certain my eyes are mirroring his, because I'm feeling those exact same things as well.

I hike his shirt up with both of my hands, exposing his well-defined, toned abs and pecs . Starting from the nape of his neck, I kiss and lick my way down his body until I reach the waistband of his pants.

Just as he's about to slip them down, I grab hold of his hands.

"_Nuh,__ uh, __uh_."

"What?"

I don't bother responding to his question. Instead, I unbutton his fly and spring his dick free.

He's completely hard, ready for my mouth.

"Would you like me to take care of this for you, Edward?"

He nods his head. "Mmhmmm."

The tip of my tongue swirls at the rim of the head of his penis, causing it to twitch. Edward's breathing accelerates, his eyelids hooded as he watches me.

And then I go in for all of it. After running my tongue along his slit, sucking and nipping on the head a few times, I take him in to my mouth.

"_Oh__ shit_," he groans.

I work along his length, getting turned on instantly by the sounds escaping from his throat and the bucking of his hips. I know he's on the verge, but I don't want to bring him there just yet. I glance up and see him watching me, his mouth parted slightly, his lips dry. And then before I get the chance to graze my teeth along his shaft, he pulls my head up.

"Hey, why did you do that?"

"Because I fucking want you."

In one swift movement, he tugs his pants down and immediately follows suit with my shorts and panties. Before I know it, I'm back on top of him.

"Do you want this?" he asks as he strokes himself.

"Yes," I whimper.

He lifts me and lowers me down, entering me slowly. He's so warm and hard, filling me wholly. My eyes drift to the back of my head in pure ecstasy, overwhelmed with the sensation.

We switch positions and now Edward's above me. The mood between us changes, from what started out as pure, unadulterated lust turns in to something more…deeper. Intimate. As I look in to his eyes and see the love and tenderness radiating behind them, I come to realize that we're no longer just having sex, we're making love.

"Can you believe we're doing this here?" he smiles, giving me his crooked grin.

"If you wanna finish this, _do not_ continue discussing that topic," I say, panic starting to build inside me.

"Okay. Sorry," he smirks.

After a few minutes, Edward's on the verge of orgasm. He's pounding in to me deeper, faster. His breathing becomes more labored and accelerated as he shuts his eyes and moans in to my neck.

The sensation of his breath against my skin makes me shiver. Before I know it, my walls tighten around his cock as tingling sensations fill my body from the inside out.

"_Edward_," I whimper, my tone unrecognizable.

My muscles contract and I cry out his name once again. He swallows my cries as he pulls me in for a kiss and then reaches his climax shortly after.

How the hell are we going to survive an _entire_ _week_ without getting caught?

* * *

><p><strong>EN:**The lemons in this fic and "After All" are the only ones I've ever written, so yeah...I feel like I could do better. lol. The more I write them, the better I'll get (I hope!).


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N:** Sorry this update took awhile to post. I had this written awhile back and have been working to add more, but I haven't liked how it's been turning out. So for the time being, I give you all this. I know it's not much but I don't want to keep you waiting.

Plus, it doesn't help that PromoRob has been quite the distraction…

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>For the first time in months, I'm sitting in the Blacks' driveway.<p>

A wave of nostalgia hits me as I stare at the red, one-story modest sized house in front of me. I've spent countless days here over the years, and it holds nothing but good, fond memories.

Like cooking one of the first meals I've prepared completely on my own. Playing cards. Even _studying_ was a fun activity to partake in here, thanks to Jacob and all his exuberance.

A soft smile plays on my lips.

"Come on, Bella!" Jacob exclaims while opening the passenger side door of his Volkswagen rabbit from the outside.

"Alright, alright!" I mutter in mock annoyance as I wobble my way out of the vehicle.

I follow him inside the house, and after a second of surveying the living room and main dining area, it's like no time had passed at all.

"I want to show you something."

"What is it?"

"You'll see."

"It isn't some kind of surprise is it?" I ask, suspicion in my tone.

"Like I said… _you__'__ll__ see_."

I groan. "Ugh. _Fine_."

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** Still writingggg…


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N:**Was Rob entertaining today in Brussels or what? Man…the timing sucks w/watching PromoRob while writing about Jacob. Lol. Anyway…I apologize for any typos or errors in advance. I blame it all on Rob and his goatee scruff.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Jacob takes me by the hand and leads me to his bedroom, where a helmet lies on the foot of his bed. It's a shade of dark brown, glossed over, and looks brand new. There's no scratches, marks, stickers or decorations of any kind...<p>

Knowing Jacob, he'd have some if not all of those things on it if he had used it already. He liked putting his personality in to everything he owned. I stare at it confused, assuming that this is what he was so eager to show me.

"So, a helmet, huh?" I ask, motioning my head towards it.

"Yep," Jacob nods enthusiastically.

"Alright…well, that's nice…"

Amused by my confusion, he smirks. "Ever since I had the Rabbit restored, I've had a lot of free time on my hands. So I decided to take my hand on working on this old motorcycle. Bought it for five hundred bucks."

"_Wow_. And Billy's fine with it?"

"Yeah. You know how he is- pretty laid back. As long as I don't do anything stupid, he's cool with it."

"Hmmm, okay," I nod. "But why a motorcycle?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Just wanted to try something new and different. Challenge myself a bit. Keep myself distracted."

"Distracted? Distracted from what?"

The life, the lightness, the happiness that's usually in his eyes dissipates instantly.

He shrugs his shoulders as if the answer to my question is no big deal, but there seems to be more to it than he's letting on. Why do I suspect that whatever he needs to be distracted from involves me? Or, is it me, period?

"How'd you like to go for a ride to La Push?"

"On the_ motorcycle_?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes, the motorcycle, Bells," he chuckles.

"Do you even have the license to drive it? You know you need a different one than your regular driver's license…"

"I'm well aware of that," he rolls his eyes. "I got it a couple weeks ago. Wanted to make sure I could take you on a spin while you're down. That's why I got you the helmet."

"You got that helmet? _For __me?_"

"Yes, for you. Brown's one of your favorite colors, isn't it?"

"Well…ye-"

"Unless it suddenly changed while you were in Seattle," he says, suddenly sounding detached. Irritated.

Where the hell did that come from?

"What makes you think it would change all of a sudden?"

He sighs. "I don't know. Don't mind me. So, are you up for it?"

"I guess…" I start hesitantly. "As long as you have a helmet yourself and know what you're doing."

"Done and done," he smiles. "I've driven it on my own plenty of times."

"Alright, then. Let's do this."


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: **It's late, I'm tired, you more than likely know what I'm going to say, so I'm not gonna even bother saying it. :P

Hello to the new readers & those who have added this story/me to faves/alerts, etc. :D

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh<em>_ my __gosh_, talk about a natural high!" I exclaim, completely flabbergasted from the motorcycle ride as I stumble my way out of the seat from behind Jacob.

I nearly fall, but he grabs hold of my wrist, helping me stand straight.

"Isn't it great?" he says, offering me a huge smile.

"Yes! My heart's still pounding!"

After freeing myself from his grip, I remove my helmet and course my fingers through my disarray of hair that was whooshing through the air during the drive. Unable to remove the knots that were formed, I sigh and give up.

I could care less about that at the moment. Right now, I couldn't get over the fact that I had just come from a sixty-five mile per hour ride on a _motorcycle_.

And I'd never ridden on one before. Ever.

Talk about an introduction to motorcycle riding…

Charlie would undoubtedly have a cow if he were to find out about this. Even Edward, for that matter.

Jacob and I stroll towards our old Friday night bonfire pit. I take in the scenery as I kick the gravel absentmindedly- the widespread open ocean beneath the gray, foggy overcast bringing me back down to earth. The sight had always had a sobering effect on me, helping me clear my head and gain perspective on life. It allowed me to just _be_.

And this time is no different. I can already feel the change within me- the adrenaline slowly but surely being replaced by calmness, meditativeness.

"Gosh, I miss this place," I murmur.

"Yeah. We had some good times."

"It's too bad the rest of the Quileutes and _pale __faces_ aren't here," I smirk.

"I know," he chuckles beneath his breath. "I should have probably asked Alice and everyone else to come, too. Sorry about that," he says sheepishly.

"It's fine, Jake. It's not like this was pre-planned. This was a spur-of-the moment type of thing."

"Yeah. I guess…"

I smile at him softly and turn my attention back towards the ocean.

"Thanks for taking me here. I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"No problem, Bells. I figured this would be nice for you to see before heading back."

Jacob and I end up losing track of time as we simply do nothing but enjoy each other's presence. There are moments of silence, moments of catching up on life. We talk about school. Our latest worries, our highs and our lows.

I didn't realize how much I was missing out on.

"Why didn't you tell me about this Leah chick?" I ask accusingly.

"I…don't know. It's still brand new. And I'm not sure how I feel about her yet."

"That's the point, Jacob. You're supposed to discuss these types of things with your friends. It's absolutely mandatory. Especially with me."

"Well then, excuse me," he chuckles. "I didn't get the memo."

I scoff. "You boys."

"_You__ girls_."

I roll my eyes. "So…describe her."

"Hmmm…Well, she's got tan skin and black hair, of course," he smiles softly. "She's a couple inches shorter than me…she's not afraid to speak her mind. Still sweet, though. As long as you're on her good side."

"Gotcha. She sounds pretty strong-headed."

"She is. _Very_ strong. One of the toughest girls I know."

"That's good. You need someone like that to keep you grounded and have your ego in check," I tease.

He smirks. "Whatever, Bells."

My phone goes off with a beep, but I ignore it. I want to learn more about this Leah chick, so I ask Jake to continue telling me about her. After five minutes, my phone beeps again. Another five minutes- _another_ beep. And then _another _five minutes later, my ring tone fills the air.

"_Damnit_," I mutter.

In annoyance, I greet the caller with a snarky sounding 'hello'.

"_Sorry, __I __didn__'__t __realize__ you were having so much fun_."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Edward," I gasp. "I didn't look at the caller ID."

"_Uh __huh. __I__ was __just __wondering__ when __you__ were __heading __back._"

"Ummm..." I glance at Jacob. "What time is it?"

"_Almost seven-thirty_," Edward answers.

"Ooh, okay. I guess I'll go home now, then."

"_It's okay if you don't want __to,__ Bella.__ If __you__'__re __having__ fun__ you __can __stay __with __him. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay._"

"No, no, it's fine."

"_Are __you __sure?__ I __know__ you __haven__'__t __seen__ him __in__ awhile._"

"I'm positive. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"_Alright. __I__'__m __sorry __for__ interrupting,__ though. __Really.__"_

_"_Suuure you are," I smirk, giving him a difficult time.

_"I'm serious!_"

"Whatever you say..."

_"Uhhh, Bella, I _am_ sorry._"

Now his tone _really_ sounds guilty._  
><em>

"You silly boy. I'm just teasing you," I smile softly. "It's fine."

"_Goodness, what am I going to do with you?_"

"Good question."

"_Hey, __Bella?_" Edward says my name softly.

"Yes?"

"_I__ love__ you_," he whispers.

Butterflies fill my stomach.

"Me too."


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N:**Ugh, I feel awful for taking this long to update. Sorry! I blame Halloween and costume shopping and BD promo.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Before heading back to the Cullens', Jacob and I make a pit stop at his house so we could ride in the Rabbit. Apparently, he hadn't told his father or mine that he ever intended on taking me for a spin on the motorcycle, so he didn't want to risk getting either or both of us in trouble.<p>

"So, I take it our fathers aren't even aware of the fact that you purchased a helmet for me?" I smirk from the passenger seat.

"Nope."

"Tsk, tsk." I shake my head. "Where are you going to keep it while I'm gone?"

"The garage. Dad never goes there, as you know, so it's not like it'll be some sort of challenge to keep it hidden."

"Ohhh yeah, huh."

After a few minutes of silence, I notice a sudden shift in Jacob's demeanor. All afternoon he was his usual happy-go-lucky, cheerful self, but now, not so much. His facial expression looks more…mature. Serious. Un-Jacob-like. The wrinkles that are usually splayed at the corners of his eyes and mouth caused from laughing and smiling are barely visible.

And his body looks stiff…uncomfortable. He's sitting up in his seat, his back perfectly arched and chest darting out, while focusing intently on the road.

"I didn't realize the roads of Forks required that much attention," I joke.

"Well, it does," he smiles. But it doesn't meet his eyes.

I search his face. "Is something wrong, Jake?"

"Ummm…" for a fraction of a second, his brown eyes dart from the road to mine before responding. "Kind of."

"What is it?"

There's a few moments of silence.

"Did you…miss me at all while you were in Seattle?"

"_Of __course _I did. How can you even ask that?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. "Just doesn't seem like it sometimes. I feel like I'm the one always initiating contact, and sometimes when I text or call you, you don't even bother to respond or return my calls."

A wave of guilt hits me. "I'm real sorry. I've just been real busy."

"I understand. But I still can't help but feel like something's a little off in general."

"What do you mean?"

A wave of anxiety starts to rise at the possibility that he had caught on to what's been going on with Edward and me.

"Well, you seem uncomfortable around me sometimes. Especially when you first came back."

Relieved, I let out a soft sigh. This topic was much easier for me to discuss. It was something that needed to be cleared between us, anyway. "Yeah...because you were going a little overboard with your hugging and touching. It _was _uncomfortable."

"I was just excited to see you," he murmurs self-consciously, his face reddening. "Sorry I made you feel that way."

"It's okay. You haven't really been like that today, so it's all good."

"Good," he smiles.

When we finally reach the house, I smile at him tentatively as I wrap my fingers around the door handle. "Thanks for today, Jacob. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. I wish that I didn't have school this week so we could spend more time together."

"It's okay. There _is_ the summer to look forward to. It'll be here before you know it."

He grins widely. "True."

His mouth opens as if he wants to say more, but no sound escapes. His eyes suddenly train at the center console.

"Is there something else you wanted to tell me?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Nah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. If you say so…" I say with uncertainty. "See ya, Jacob."

"Actually, wait a sec," he blurts.

"Yes?" I turn my head towards him and cock my brow.

"There's something I'd like to know. But you don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I won't hold it against you or get angry."

"Okay…what is it?"

"Are you seeing someone?"

_Shit_. So he had caught on, after all.

"Ummm Jake, I see _plenty _of people in Seattle," I chuckle nervously, avoiding the question.

He rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean. Are you dating anyone?"

I can't lie to Jacob. And in all honesty, I don't even want to.

"Yes." My voice shakes.

"May I ask who it i-"

I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, but his attention is geared somewhere else. A look of irritation flashes across his face as he stares towards the front porch.

Talk about perfect timing…


	65. Chapter 65

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Relief. Eagerness. Impatience. Sadness. Melancholy.<p>

All those conflicting emotions dwell within me as I pack my bags in to Edward's Volvo.

It's time for us to head back to Seattle. This moment couldn't have come fast enough- I was more than ready to drop the facade that Edward and I had been wearing all week; but I wasn't necessarily looking forward to saying goodbye to everyone, either. Even though it was only temporary.

And I was going to miss the comfort and serenity of home. The sense of tranquility that only Forks had to offer.

"I can't believe it's already time for you to leave," Esme murmurs in to my hair as she envelopes me in her arms. "I'm going to miss you _so_ much."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Esme. I had a blast this week."

"Really? Even though we didn't really do much?"

With her hands placed on my shoulders, she gently pulls me back and searches my eyes skeptically.

"Of course. It was nice to just lay back and chill for once. This past quarter was stressful." _Yet__ quite __delightful,__ thanks__ to__ your__ son_.

"Ohhh, yes. I remember those days. All of those sleepless nights and unhealthy eating and sleeping patterns…not fun at the time. But I wouldn't trade those experiences for _anything_."

Just then, footsteps descend the front steps. Both of our heads turn towards the sound.

"Well, looks like your Edward is here."

My eyes bulge. "Uhh…" my voice trembles; "Excuse me_?_"

Esme smiles mischievously at me. "I'm not blind, hon. Nor _deaf_." She arches her brow.

_Oh__ shit_. She knows.

And _heard _us!

Talk about humiliation…to the _max._

_Oh my gosh…_

My heart pounds while my face quickly turns in to a deep shade of red.

"Ummm..." I laugh nervously.

"What is it?" Edward asks, joining us. He examines my face. "What did you say to her, mom?"

"Just that I'm not blind. Nor deaf," she smirks, looking at him knowingly.

It takes a few seconds her message to dawn on him; and when it does, he begins to blush as well. He's rendered speechless, completely dumbfounded. He doesn't utter a word.

Esme sighs. "Don't worry, you two. I haven't talked to anyone about it. For all I know, everyone else could be completely clueless about this."

I exhale a breath.

"Okay…" Edward starts, his voice uncertain. "I'm sorry we didn't say anything. It's just-"

She waves him off. "It's alright. I know it must be weird for you guys to let everyone here know, but to be honest, it was sort of inevitable. Look at what Charlie said that first night," she laughs.

"Yeah, well, Billy sure didn't think so," Edward mutters.

"He's entitled to his own opinion, Edward. Plus, he hasn't really seen you two together the way the rest of us have."

"How do you think Carlisle and Charlie will handle this, Esme?" I ask nervously.

"I can't really speak for them, but if I were to guess, I think they'd be fine with it for the most part. But Charlie may be a little guarded about it; at least at first. Which you can't really blame him, since you're his only child. His baby…his little girl," she smiles.

"That's what I'm most afraid of," Edward murmurs beneath his breath.

"You don't need to worry about that," I assure him. "He knows you're a good guy...that you'd treat me well."

"Yeah, honey. Don't worry so much," Esme says.

"If you say so…"

"Things will work out, Edward," Esme says with conviction. "Now, let's finish packing and get you two back to Seattle."


	66. Chapter 66

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>April, 2007<strong>

"Bella, wake up."

I shift my body away from the source of the sound. I'm exhausted and don't want to face the world just yet.

"_Bella_."

I don't move.

_Go away, go away, go away…_

"Girl, you have a midterm to take in a half hour, so I suggest you get your ass out of bed," Rosalie says sternly as she aggressively lifts my bed sheets. "Up!"

The sudden whoosh of cool air causes goose bumps to rise on my exposed arms and legs. Irritated, I narrow my eyes at her. "_What __the __hell,__ Rose?_"

"Did you hear me? You. Midterm. _Thirty__ minutes_. Get your ass to class."

"Oh shit!"

She scoffs. "No kidding."

My heart immediately starts thumping loudly in my chest as I stumble out of bed in panic, tying my hair up in a messy ponytail. "Thanks for waking me. I owe you."

She shrugs. "What are friends for?"

I glance at the digital clock on my desk. Twelve pm. "Shouldn't you be in class yourself?"

"Yes, but it's just lecture. I decided to skip."

"Why?"

"Just didn't feel like going."

"Okay. So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know." Her blue eyes lock on mine. She looks…curious. As if she's trying to figure something out. "So, how's Edward?"

_Alright, _that _came out of nowhere_.

I freeze in my tracks for a second and tilt my head to the side.

"He's good. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Okay…" I cock my brow, confused.

"_Anyways_…" she says dismissively, "Good luck on your midterm."

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it."

After brushing my teeth and changing in to a new set of clothes, I sprint my way to class in order to have a few extra minutes to review my notes. While making my way there, I go through my phone and notice all the calls and texts I missed. Three missed calls from Edward, one from Alice, and one from Jacob. Two texts from Edward, and one from Alice.

All of these were sent in the last two hours.

How the hell could I have slept through all this?


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N:**Ugh, took awhile to update. I know. I apologize for that. This month (perhaps even December since the holiday season is coming up) might be a litttle slow with updates since I'll be out of town a few times. Hopefully this fic will be done by Christmas, though…I'm still not completely sure on how long this is going to be. Right now I'm guesstimating around 110-120 chaplets. May be more than that. I do have a general outline, but I just cut things off where it seems right, so it's hard to say.

Hello to the new readers! Thanks for joining in on the ride. I hope you stick around. :o)

Alright...here goes. Hope you enjoy.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Paranoia immediately strikes me as my mind conjures up numerous reasons as to why all three of them were trying to contact me within that short span of time.<p>

None of them are positive.

Was something wrong? Did someone get hurt? Was there some kind of emergency?

Hopefully it was just coincidental- I haven't talked to Jacob lately, and Alice and I had plans later in the day, so hopefully that was it...

As for Edward, we _always_ kept in touch with the usual "check ins" couples do- "I'm at 'this place';" "Just woke up;" "I'm home now." So I wasn't too worried about that.

But he did try to contact me quite a bit…

Still scurrying my way through campus, I clear my phone screen and call Edward.

He answers on the second ring. "_Bella?_"

"Hey. Is something wrong?" I pant, my chest heaving from all the running.

"_Why__ would__ something__ be __wrong?_" he asks, confusion resonating in his tone.

"I don't know. I just woke up and saw all these missed calls and texts from you, Alice and Jacob. I thought something must have happened."

"_No__… __everything__'__s __fine. __At __least __that __I __know__ of. __I__ just __wanted__ to __make__ sure__ you__ were __up __because__ of__ your __test._"

"Ohh, okay."

"_I __assume__ you__'__re __on __your__ way__ to class now__?_"

"You got it."

"_Tsk, __tsk_," Edward chastises teasingly. "_No__ wonder __you__'__re __panting_."

"Very funny, Edward."

"_It __sounds__ hot __though__…_"

I roll my eyes. "_Edward__…_"

"_Sorry,_" he chuckles. "_I __don__'__t __understand __why __you __woke__ up__ so __late,__ though.__ Didn__'__t__ you __go __to __sleep__ around __eleven?_"

"Yeah…"

I mentally count the hours I slept. Thirteen.

_What the hell? _

"_Did__ you__ have __trouble __sleeping __or __something?_"

"No. I slept pretty well, actually."

"_Hmmm__…__okay_."

A couple seconds of silence linger between us as I enter the classroom. A few students are already in the room and seated, scanning their notes. While claiming one of the corner seats in the front row, I clumsily drop my backpack on to the ground with a loud _thud_, causing my collection of pens and highlighters to slip out from some side pockets.

"_Damn__ it_," I hiss under my breath as I try to stop them from rolling with one of my feet.

"_What __is __it?_" Edward asks.

"I just got in the classroom and made a little mess with my pens. I'm gonna clean this up and study for a bit. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"_Alright. __Good __luck__ on__ your __midterm._"

"Thanks. I love you."

"_Love __you, __too._"

After a few minutes of reviewing my notes, my eyelids start to grow heavy, my neck tilting forward as I begin to slip in and out of unconsciousness. All the adrenaline from earlier had worn me out. Luckily, I somehow manage to pull it together for the most part by the time the professor arrives.

But that doesn't last for long. Everything I write in the exam booklet is half-ass, my answers vague. I'd be surprised they are even correct at all- I can barely focus on the words in front of me.

I'd be lucky if I end up with a 2.5.

All I want to do is go back to sleep.

The next few days are hardly any different. In fact, things get worse. Not only do I end up oversleeping- I wake up with hot flashes, my body flushed, occasionally feeling waves of nausea by the time I even sit up in bed.

Rose starts to get worried. And Edward. I haven't seen much of Alice and Ang lately- all we've done is text, so they don't know what's going on.

"Bella?" Rose asks one afternoon during lunch.

"Yes?"

"When was the last time you had your period?"


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N:**_Loving_ the feedback I've been receiving. It means tooons to me and is uuuber motivating. Thank you. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I contemplate Rosalie's question as I count the days and weeks with my fingers.<p>

I count once. Twice. Three times.

My period should have started by now. I'm nearly two weeks late.

"Oh my gosh," I whisper in disbelief, my eyes widening at the realization.

Could I possibly be pregnant?

"You're late," Rose states without a trace of uncertainty.

In a complete daze, I simply nod my head.

"By how long?"

"At least a week."

She doesn't seem the least bit shocked- as if she had expected my answer.

Now everything makes sense- the fatigue, nausea, hot flashes…Did Edward consider this possibility, too?

_Oh.__ My. __Gosh._ I might be _pregnant. _With Edward's child.

The thought causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

"Are you going to take a pregnancy test?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Probably today."

"Are you going to tell Edward?"

"Yes."

She eyes at me skeptically, quirking her brow. "Aren't you worried he's going to freak out and run for the hills?"

"I don't think so…but I've never hidden anything from him. And I most definitely don't want to keep this from him; not when it's something this serious."

"Alright…"

I sigh. "Rose, he may be my boyfriend, but he's still my best friend. I've known him my entire life- I trust him enough to not let me down and abandon me."

"If you're right, you are _damn lucky. _Ugh, how come I can't have an Edward?" she whines jokingly. "Are you sure there isn't _anyone_ he could introduce me to?"

"Rose…" I roll my eyes, smirking.

"Hey, can't blame a girl for trying."

"True."


	69. Chapter 69

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Random scenarios race through my mind all day as to how I should bring up the topic of my potential pregnancy with Edward. But I come out flat, ending up with nothing.<p>

The pressure is maddening, increasing with each hour.

Later that night, while lounging on his living room couch, he notices my unusually stiff posture.

"Is everything okay?" he asks as he runs his long fingers through my thick, wavy hair.

"Ummm, I'm not sure," I answer hesitantly.

His hand freezes in place as he stares in to my eyes. "Why?"

With a parched throat and furiously pounding heart, I'm unable to come up with words.

Because in a matter of seconds, I'm going to open my purse and reveal to him the item that may change our lives.

The pregnancy test.

Wordlessly, with a shaky hand, I place the box on to his lap. His eyes widen as he examines it.

"Oh man," he says disbelievingly, exhaling loudly.

"Yeah."

"You beat me to it."

I arch my brow, confused. "Beat you to what?"

"I was going to talk to you about this this upcoming weekend. I've noticed the symptoms."

"Oh," I say simply. That makes sense, considering he's in med school. _Silly __Bella_, I think to myself. "Why were you planning to wait 'til then?"

"I didn't want to stress you out during the school week."

"Well, it's too late for that," I chuckle sarcastically. "Should I take it now?"

"If you're ready, yes."

"I am," I reply determinedly. Might as well get it over with- there's no use in avoiding a question that's just awaiting its answer.

In an anxious, edgy state, I urinate on to the test stick. I call Edward in to the restroom once I'm done, and then, a few minutes later, the result pops up on the tiny screen.

Pregnant.

* * *

><p><strong>EN:**I know I've said this a few times, but no, I haven't forgotten the Prologue. Jacob's gonna make his way back soon enough. Just remember- I _cannot _stand the dog (other than the last half or so of "Breaking Dawn." But even then he's still sort of annoying.).


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N: **Bet you weren't expecting an update today (or tomorrow, for that matter), huh? Lol. I know. I'm awful. Awful, awful, _awful_. I could explain myself, but I don't want to come off as a baby coming up with excuses. I think I've done that plenty. But I wasn't able to update due to good reason, just so you know. At least up until about three days ago, with the world premiere of BD1 and all. In fact, maybe most of you won't even be reading this until after you see the movie and get caught up with all the live streams and interviews. Or maybe not. Who knows.

_Anyway_, lol, here I grant you with one of two updates. Yippee!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Pregnant.<p>

Pregnant.

I'm fucking _pregnant_.

My eyes start to moisten with unshed tears.

"Bella, are you okay?"

Am I okay? _Am I okay? _I have no idea. I don't know what to think, what to feel. I'm just…numb. In complete shock. Twenty four hours ago, I never would have thought in a _million years_ I'd be in this situation. Especially not at this point in my life, while I'm in college.

But I am.

I can't believe it.

"Edward…"

"Yes?" he says, his voice anxious.

"I'm pregnant."

"I know," he says barely above a whisper. "I saw the test."

I turn to face him and search his eyes. "What are we going to do?"

"I'm not sure. But…do you want to keep the baby?"

For some reason I can't comprehend, his eyes are full of sadness.

And before I even get the chance to respond, to register that heavy loaded question, he speaks up again. "Shit, I'm sorry, Bella. You don't need to answer that right now."

"Alright…"

As if sensing what I needed, Edward envelopes me in his arms. I rest my head against his chest and inhale his fresh, soothing, familiar scent. It brings me comfort. Calmness. Helps me believe that despite the insane reality of this situation, everything will be okay. As long as we have each other.

It doesn't stop the waterworks from making an appearance, though.

While sobbing my eyes out, there's one thing I know I am absolutely certain of, despite my overwhelming state. The answer to Edward's question.

I'm keeping our baby.


	71. Chapter 71

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about this, Bella?"<p>

"Yes."

"Really? Are you ready to face the music and let everyone know about this," he motions to my stomach, "about us?"

"Yes."

_The __question__ is,__ can_ you_, __Edward?_ I think to myself while suppressing a sneer.

It's been a few weeks since we discovered the news, and if there's one thing I've noticed since then, it's that Edward's more melodramatic than I thought. I've always known he's been quite worrisome, but lately, with his over-analyzing and paranoia over each move and facial expression I make, he was reaching the brink of insanity. And bringing me along with him.

He was grating on my nerves. Big time.

"But what about sch-"

"But _nothing_. We'll take things as they come, Edward. I'm about to reach the end of my first trimester and our family and friends should know as soon as possible. What do you want- for them to find out for themselves once they see me inflated like a damn balloon?"

He sighs. "Bella, it's just your first trimester. You're barely even showing."

"I don't care. I want to tell them. _Soon_."

"Alright, alright," he says in a surrendering tone. "When we're home during summer break, okay?"

"Edward..."

"It's just around the corner. A little over two weeks."

"Well, I'd like to tell Alice and Angela, at least."

"Okay," Edward nods his head a few moments later, his eyes thoughtful.

"Have _you _told anyone?"

"Not yet."

_Surprise, __surprise._

"Are you going to?" I arch my brow, curiously awaiting his response.

"Probably Emmett."

I nod to myself, satisfied. At least he was going to have someone else other than me to express all his worries and anxieties with.

Thank _God_.

As I stretch my limbs and release a loud yawn, not even bothering to cover my mouth, I walk over to Edward's bed and lie down. He joins me shortly after and spoons me from behind, rubbing my stomach.

"So, we're really doing this."

"Uh huh. I've told you time and time again. You've got me sounding like a broken record player."

"Sorry," he apologizes sheepishly. "I just can't believe it. You and me...having a _baby_."

"I know. It's insane, huh?" I smile as my mind conjures up images of our unborn child.

My eyes start to well up.

"Yes. _Beautifully _insane." He kisses the crook of my neck, sending tingles down my spine. My entire body shivers and I release a soft moan.

"I love that sound," Edward chuckles against my skin.

My body shivers once again. "You better."

"How could I not?" He gently turns me over on my back, looking in to my eyes with such intensity it takes my breath away. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swan."

"I love you, too, Edward."

He bends down and attacks my mouth with his, working his tongue in so it could meet with mine. He groans and thrusts against me, his hardness evident as he grinds against my thigh. I tug his sweats down and reach inside his boxer briefs, barely running the tips of my fingers along his shaft. "Uhh, _damn_," he grunts. "I want you so badly."

"Then have me."

With one hand cupping my face and the other slipping beneath my over-sized tee shirt, he gives me a crooked grin. "I have every intention to."

Edward brings his other hand down and lifts my shirt off, exposing my bare breasts. "No bra," he says to himself.

I shake my head.

"Nipples too sensitive?"

"Yes."

"I"m sorry," he says as he darts his tongue out and ever so slowly circles one of them, making me squirm.

"Is something wrong?" Edward smirks cockily.

"No."

"Does it feel good?" his tongue repeats the motion with the other nipple.

"Yes," I sigh.

Gently massaging my breasts as he slowly kisses his way downward, Edward's lips settle over my belly. "You're going to have my baby."

I nod my head, hyper sensitive over the feeling of his touch and open mouthed kisses. My fingers massage his scalp, eliciting a moan to escape from his lips. And then suddenly, I feel a cool wetness against my skin.

He's crying.

"Edward, are you okay?" I ask, concerned. I lift his chin so I can see his expression, to ensure that his following words ring true.

"Yes," he smiles softly. "Just overwhelmed. I can't believe you actually _want _to keep our baby."

"Of course I do. Like I said, I've _told_ you."

"I know. I was just worried you were doing it because you thought you had to."

I arch my brow. "What do you mean?"

He shakes his head. "Let's talk about it later, alright?"

"Okay."

Before I could worry over his words, he quickly discards his sweatpants and boxer briefs, exposing his manhood.

"This has got to go," he whispers before devouring my mouth once again, his fingers tugging at the waistband of my pants. Goosebumps cover my arms and legs, despite the fact that my face is flushed, my body feverish with anticipation.

"Give it to me," I moan.

Edward watches my face as he teases me with his tip, encircling my opening. Unable take it any longer, I thrust my hips against his.

Finally, he enters slowly, inch my inch, causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head.

With each passing second, he works his way in deeper and deeper. Faster and faster. I can barely keep myself together as the warmth of him fills me, unable to suppress the loudness of my moans and sighs.

"Come for me, Isabella."

Edward lifts and places my legs over his shoulders, filling me in deeper than I ever would have thought possible. Without a doubt, this is the deepest he's ever been inside of me.

"Oh, Edward..." I gasp, feeling both pain and pleasure all at once.

My entire body shakes beneath him in orgasm as I fight to keep my eyes trained on his.

Just seconds after my climax, Edward finds his release and spills himself inside of me. Closing his eyes shut in content and getting his breathing back under control, he rests his head on my chest and listens to the erratic beating of my heart.

_We__ can __do__ this_, I chant in my head while running my fingers through his hair. _We__ can__ do this_.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I thought you deserved that ending after the week long wait. Lol.


	72. Chapter 72

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>There were times I wished I hadn't told Alice and Angela about my pregnancy until after school ended. They were constantly on my back mothering me, treating me as if I were made of glass. On a daily basis, I heard statements that went along the lines of- "<em>Make <em>_sure __you __get __enough __sleep__"_; "_Eat __this_, _drink __that_"; "_Don__'__t __work __yourself__ too __hard_"; "_Would__ you __like __me __to __carry __your __books?_"; "_Want __me__ to__ cook __you __something?__ The __food__ on __campus __isn__'__t __healthy__ enough __for __you __and__ the__ baby._"

They were almost as bad as Edward.

Today was especially worse. Now that summer break was here and it was time to head back to Forks, they were helping Edward and I pack my belongings in to the Cullens' SUV. Which was absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. Other than the mini fridge, everything I owned that needed to be taken back weighed no more than fifteen pounds.

Plus, I didn't even own much. Everything was packed with just one trip to the vehicle.

"You know it's only going to get worse, right?" Rose smirks just before I'm about to leave our dorm room for the last time.

"_Ugh_," I sigh, rolling my eyes. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Just saying," she shrugs.

"I can't believe this school year's over. I'm really going to miss you," I choke, my eyes starting to mist up.

"Me too. But we'll still be in touch."

"We _better_. I don't know how I would have been able to manage going through all this," I rub my stomach, "without you."

As tears begin to stream down my cheeks, Rosalie closes the distance between us and squeezes me, practically whooshing the air from out my lungs.

"I'll always be around, Bella. If you need anything, I'm just a phone call or text away."

"Okay," I sniff.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asks from right behind me, making me jump.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't realize you were here," gasp. "But yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I roll my eyes. "_Yes_, Edward. Just saying goodbye to Rose."

"Alright, sorry. We're all ready to go. I'll wait for you out in the lobby when you're done." He turns his head towards Rosalie. "See you around, Rose."

"Bye," she calls.

"Okay." I turn back to Rose. "Well, this is it. Don't want to keep my care crew waiting."

"Yep," she laughs softly, smiling. "Take care of yourself, Bella. And try not to be so hard on them. I wish someone was there for me when I was in your position."

I arch my brow. "_What?_" I ask, shocked. "You were..."

"I'll tell you one of these days," she cuts me off. "But now's not the time. Edward's waiting for you."

"But you're leaving me hanging here!"

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I promise, I'll tell you soon enough, okay?"

"Okay..." I say in a trance, at a loss for words. I couldn't believe it. _Rose__ was __pregnant?_

But where's the child?

"See ya, Bella."

"Alright." I push my questions aside, giving Rose one final, tentative hug. "You better tell me your story. If I can't take the curiosity, we're meeting up. Got it?"

"Got it," she chuckles. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** Still writing. Hoping to update either later tonight or tomorrow.


	73. Chapter 73

**A/N: **In case you're confused about the last half of the previous chaplet regarding Rosalie (and/or why I even brought it up), refer back to ch. 54. This wasn't something I just conjured up randomly, lol. It will make sense in later chaplets.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's been nearly a week and I <em>still<em> haven't mustered up the courage to tell Edward's and my families the news.

Neither did Edward.

So once again, like before, we were being complete cowards.

Each time one of us tried, the moment would be lost- either by some sort of distraction or sudden topic change in conversation. It made bringing up the pregnancy even more difficult than it already was.

"Did you tell them yet?" Alice asks as she briskly walks through the front door of the Cullens' house.

"No...Wanna say that a little louder?"

She stops in her tracks and narrows her eyes at me. "Well, they need to be informed soon, don't you think?"

I sigh. "I know."

"So...when are you gonna do it? Today?"

"I"m not sure."

Huffing, she rolls her eyes. "You know, with all the doctor's appointments you'll be attending, you need to tell them as soon as possible. Plus, Carlisle's a doctor, so it's only a matter of time..."

"Alright! I get it, Alice."

"What's going on?" Carlisle asks, entering the room from the kitchen. He looks from me to Alice, his eyes full of confusion. "Is something wrong?"

"Ummm...not really," I respond nervously.

"Then what was Alice talking about?" He quirks his brow. "I heard my name."

Alice looks at me with apologetic eyes, her eyes turning glassy. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to interfere like this."

"It's okay," I sigh, resigned, with tears of my own forming. _Damn emotions_. I turn towards Carlisle. "I'll be right back. I need to get Edward for this."

"Alright..." The wrinkles in his forehead grow more defined.

And then a couple seconds later, the puzzle pieces seem to have clicked together for him like a light switch. He gasps and searches my face, looking completely astonished.

"Oh my gosh," he says, his body tensing. "Go ahead and get him," he barely manages to let out. He walks over to one of the couches and plops down. "Perhaps you should get Esme and call your father over as well."

"I ought to get going..." Alice squirms, looking uncomfortable. "I'll let myself out. Call me later, Bella. I'm _so_ sorry.."

"It's okay. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," she smiles with guilty, sad eyes. "Bye, Carlisle."

Without uttering a word to Alice, he simply waves towards her general direction. His eyes look lost and oddly vacant as he's trying to process whatever's running through his mind.

Opening the door to Edward's room, I see him lying across his bed flat on his stomach, fast asleep. He looks so peaceful, so innocent; I almost feel bad for waking him because he hasn't slept well since we've been back home. But I know I must. It's the moment we've both been waiting for.

"Edward," I murmur in to his ear, running my fingers through his wild, bronze hair. "Wake up."

Without covering his mouth, he yawns loudly. "What is it?"

"It's time to tell our parents."

"What? Why?" he asks, now wide awake and highly alert.

"I'll tell you later. But you should find Esme. I'm going to call Charlie and Sue over. Carlisle's already in the living room."

"Okay..." he says, his eyes panicked. "_Crap_, this is really happening."

"Yes, it is."

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** Still writing…hopefully another update in less than 24 hrs.


	74. Chapter 74

**A/N:**Did I beat the 24 hour mark? I think I did, but just barely…

For those who celebrate Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving! Don't stuff yourselves _too_ much to the point where you feel nauseous (I hate that feeling). :P

And hello to my new readers/subscribers. Don't be a stranger. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Less than forty five minutes later, Edward's and my parents are officially met with the news.<p>

And there's silence.

Carlisle's still frozen in place, just like he has been ever since I went to retrieve Edward from his bedroom. Esme's mouth is gaped open, her eyes dancing back and forth between me and Edward. Sue's concerned eyes are concentrated on Charlie's face, stroking his hand that's rested tensely on his lap, formed in to a fist. His face is just...frozen, his eyes distant.

"Dad...?" Edward starts tentatively, his voice sounding ten years younger.

"Yes?"

"Say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

For the first time, Carlisle's voice sounds detached, expressionless. It's extremely eery, _very _out of character for him. He's usually compassionate, empathetic. But at this moment, he's anything but.

He must be _pissed_. Either that, or still in shock.

"I don't know. Anything. How you feel, what you think. You can talk about whatever. I just want to know that everything's okay."

"_Okay?_ You think everything's _okay?_" Carlisle growls, anger rising in his tone. His face finally shows some life once again.

Completely taken by surprise, Edward paces a few steps back. "Well, it _will_ be..."

"What makes you think that?"

"Ummm..."

"You were completely irresponsible and careless, Edward. You impregnated your _best __friend_ during her freshman year in college!"

Visibly upset by the reality of Carlisle's words, Charlie shifts in his seat. But thankfully, he doesn't say anything. Sue's touches seem to keep him grounded. For now. _Thank__ God_.

Slumping his shoulders in shame, Edward draws his eyes towards the carpet. "I know," he says barely above a whisper.

"How could you have put Bella in this position?"

"Like you said, I was being irresponsible. I should have known better."

"Yes, you should have."

"_Hey_," I interrupt, including myself in to the conversation, "I'm to blame for this too, you know. It takes two," I rub my stomach, "to make this happen."

Carlisle arches his brow at me, about to say something, but I continue on before he's able to put a word in. "I...I wanted to be with Edward," I blush.

Edward opens his mouth, but Charlie speaks before he gets the chance.

"Why?" he asks angrily. "I didn't send you off to college so you could get pregnant."

"I know."

"Well, what are you going to do? Drop out?"

"_No_," I say firmly, tears filming at my eyes. "I _want _to continue college."

"How do you plan on doing that when you'll be raising a baby?"

"I'll figure it out. I can get a part time job, and maybe Alice and Ang could babysit-"

"You are _not _including your friends in this, Bella. This baby is _yours _and _Edward__'__s _responsibility. Not theirs. They shouldn't have to sacrifice their time for your guys' mistake."

_Mistake?_

Anger immediately boils in my blood. "My child is _not_ a mistake, Charlie."

His face reddens. "Don't use that tone of voice with me. If you want me to still support you, _do __not_ disrespect me like that."

"Then don't disrespect your _grandchild_ by calling them a mistake!"

"Grandchild..." Charlie's breathing accelerates, his chest rising and falling drastically. Sue strokes his thick hair, trying to soothe him. "Charlie, calm down...calm down," she whispers against his ear.

Other than my cries and sniffling, the room remains silent as Charlie recomposes himself. Tears are running down my cheeks at an unstoppable rate now.

"How far along are you?" Esme asks softly.

"I just started my second trimester," I barely manage to choke out.

"Okay. And what have you and Edward planned so far?"

"Not much," Edward answers for me. "Our main concern was telling you guys first. Now, we're just going to take it from here."

"Okay."

"I'm so sorry," he whispers against my hair, curling his arms around my torso.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"That's not true. I've brought you in to this." he scans the room with his eyes, acknowledging our parents' expressions.

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," he counters. "All this stress you must be under...I'm _so__ sorry_. You've been put through so much pressure lately. You don't deserve to go through this."

"Neither do you."

"Yes I do," he mutters, looking angry at himself. "I should have known better."

"Edward, don't take this out on yourself."

"But-"

"But nothing. We're in this together." I pause for a moment. "I don't regret it."

"You don't?"

"No."

"Are you actually _happy _about this Bella?" Carlisle asks.

"Well...at first I was more shocked more than anything. But yes, I am happy," I reply. How could I not be? Edward and I created something beautiful, despite the fact that the timing wasn't necessarily perfect.

"So this was a surprise?"

"Yes."

"Okay..." Carlisle focuses his eyes on Edward. "How long has this been going on between you two?" He motions his hand between us.

"Since this past fall," Edward replies, his face blushing. I smile softly at his reaction.

"I knew it," Charlie mutters beneath his breath.

"Oh goodness." Carlisle runs his hand down his face. "I should have known. You two became exclusive?"

"Yes."

From the corner of my eye, I notice Esme's eyes twinkling with happiness.

At least _someone_ is responding well to the news.

"You and Bella better start coming up with a plan. Decide whether or not she should take next winter quarter off, since she'll be delivering around that time."

"I know," Edward says while Charlie huffs loudly in the background.

"Perhaps you two should stay at your apartment this summer as well, so she can have access to more medical care. There's only so much treatment she can receive here in Forks..."

"Okay. We'll leave in a couple days." Edward looks down at me. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yes." I nod my head.

"And you, Charlie?"

"I guess," he grumbles.

"Alright, it's settled then," Carlisle says. "I can't believe you're going to make all of us grandparents."

"You're telling me," Charlie sighs, sounding defeated. "Who else knows about this?"

"Alice, Ang, and one of Edward's friends, Emmett," I respond.

"Okay," he says, contemplating. "Edward, you're lucky I like you. If this were anyone else…" he shakes his head, pushing away the thought.

"I know. You'd probably shoot them. I'm actually surprised you haven't reached for your gun yet," he jokes.

"It's at home." Charlie's lips twitch beneath his mustache. "Well…here we go..."


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N:** I just returned from vaca, sooo back to the grind! I know it's been awhile. Gonna try and keep the pace up and accomplish my goal of having this completed by Christmas. Keep your fingers crossed for me…I'm _really_ gonna need it.

On another note, this chaplet may be a little choppy. I haven't written much lately, so bare with me on this one…

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>The following day, I go to Jacob's place to tell him the news. Or at least, <em>part<em> of it.

For some reason, the words, _I__'__m __pregnant _could not, would not, slip out from my tongue. I couldn't find it in myself to inform him of my pregnancy. Or that Edward and I are together. Something inside me was certain he wouldn't respond well to the news.

And I didn't want to deal with that from one of my favorite people. Not right now. Telling Edward's and my family was more than enough.

Plus, there was already so many things to deal with...

After the worst was over with from breaking the news to Edward's parents and Charlie and Sue, Charlie and I agreed that I'd search for a job and work until the start of Autumn quarter. It'd allow me to be productive with my free time and have some money saved up for the..._baby._

So, I'd rather have Jacob out of the loop for the time being, despite the fact that I knew it was wrong.

"Really? So soon?" Jacob asks as the pitch of his voices lowers, his lips dropping in to a frown after I tell him I'm leaving for Seattle.

"Yes. I wish I didn't have to..."

"Then why do you?"

"I need to find a job and save up some money." _For __the __baby __I__'__ll__ be__ having__ in __approximately __six__ months_.

"But I thought you had enough…?" Jacob furrows his brows as he examines my face in confusion.

_Please __don__'__t __read__ me, __please __don__'__t__ read__ me_…

"I don't."

"And you can't stay in Forks?"

"No."

"Why?" he tilts his head.

"It just makes more sense for me to stay in Seattle. I could work awhile longer since I'll already be in the city."

"Oookay..." he says, not sounding convinced. "And where will you be staying?"

"At Edward's apartment."

"_Oh_. So he's going back to Seattle, also?"

"Yeah."

After a few torturous, silent moments, he rolls his eyes and leans back in his seat. "Of course."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

"It means _something_, Jacob. Tell me."

"I told you. Nothing."

"I don't believe you."

"Well guess what?" Jacob says mockingly. "I don't believe you, either."

Sighing, I roll my eyes. "Whatever."

"You don't need the money. I _know _that you've been set for college, Bella. I heard Charlie talk about this stuff with my dad _numerous_ times. What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." He says simply. "Why does Edward have to go, too?"

I ignore his question. "If you don't believe me, Jake, that's your problem."

"Not really. You're hiding something."

"I am not."

"Yeah, right. Something's up," he presses.

"Nothing's '_up_', Jake."

"Then look me in the eye."

I couldn't.

He scoffs. "_Uh__h uh_. All I gotta say is, if whatever you're hiding from me goes wrong, don't come moping my way."

"I don't plan to," I snap. "Especially with this attitude of yours."

"Good."

"_Good_," I sneer as I grab my purse, standing up from my seat. I make my way towards the front door.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"Out of here."

"Are you _serious_? C'mon, Bells. Stop overreacting!"

"Well _you _stop being an ass!"

"Geez, what the hell's gotten in to you?"

"Nothing."

"Uhh huh. Not believing it."

"See, _that_...right there? _That's _why I'm getting out of here. You're being a royal pain in my ass."

"And you're being one in mine. You're so stubborn."

Frustrated, with tears on the verge of spilling down my cheeks, I sigh in exasperation. "Man, screw this. I'm getting out of here."

"Fine."

"_Fine_."

And that's how we leave things. No goodbyes, no "see you later"s, no hugs… I stomp outside in to the front yard and call Edward to pick me up. By the time I enter his Volvo, my eyes are red, swollen from crying.

_He didn't even come outside to say goodbye…_

"Didn't go well?" Edward reaches his hand over to caress my face. I lean in against his touch for comfort.

"No."

"Not surprising," he says, his voice sympathetic. "How much did you tell him?"

"Just that I had to leave for work."

His hand freezes. "Not about us? Or that you're pregnant?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just couldn't," I shrug, contemplating. "I better tell Charlie to keep quiet for now…"

"Yeah." Edward's eyes wander off as he pulls his hand back, staring off in to space at nothing in particular.

I examine his face in confusion, worried. I don't like that expression. At all. "Is something wrong?"

Shrugging, he exhales loudly. "I just…sort of wished you told him about us."

"_Really?_ You usually brush things off when it comes to him."

"I know. And that's my point. Just this once, it would have been nice to have the upper hand in something. To have him know that you're _mine_. Immature, I know," he chuckles. But the sound and crooked smile he's wearing doesn't meet his eyes.

"Edward, I don't know what to say…"

He shakes his head. "You don't need to say anything, Bella. Don't mind me. Let's just go home."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I hope things didn't go too fast with Bella's & Jacob's "talk." I just wanted to get straight to the point and get the story rolling. Lemme know what you think...?

Still writing…_Please _keep me motivated. Reviews/pm's work. Lol.

I might be making minor edits on this chaplet. So you may wanna go back to it before you read the next one I post. I'm just real impatient to have this up for you guys. :P


	76. Chapter 76

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>Mid July, 2007<strong>

In the middle of the night, I dart up in bed, woken up by an excruciating pain.

My stomach hurts.

It fucking hurts so bad, tears spring at my eyes.

"_Owww_," I cry as I place my hands over my stomach, bending forward.

What the hell is going on?

I lift up the bed sheet and stare down at my shirt and shorts, stunned.

There's blood.

_No…_

"_What the_..."

"Bella?" Edward asks in a groggy voice, waking up from beside me. "What is it?"

"Edward…" I dart my eyes back down. I can't say the words.

This can't be happening…

He follows where my attention is directed at and gasps. "_Oh shit_."

"_Edward_…" I sob. "My stomach…it hurts so bad!"

"Okay, calm down," he says, running his long, soft fingers through my hair. "Let me call dad."

I nod my head, acknowledging his words. That's all I'm capable of at the moment.

Because this is unreal.

The pain comes, it goes, it comes, it goes. I can't relax. I can barely keep myself composed.

"We're going to the ER," Edward says after ending his call. He slips out of bed, opens a dresser drawer, and pulls out a pair of black, oversized sweatpants that belong to him.

"I'm gonna help you put these on."

"Alright," I sniffle.

Within minutes, we're out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** I've never experienced (or know that much of) what Bella's going through in this, so this is as detailed I'm going to get regarding this. Plus, I don't like getting in to excruciating details… I'm not good with gore. :/


	77. Chapter 77

**A/N: **No, I didn't forget to write and/or update. :P Went through a little writer's block.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward's fingers are linked with mine as the doctor informs us of the news we already know.<p>

We had lost the baby.

It was already bad enough _knowing _it, but to hear it said aloud officially, confirmed by someone else, made things a million times worse.

On instinct, I place my free hand over my stomach. I shut my eyes, wishing for this to be some sick, twisted joke…a nightmare. That this was all in my imagination.

But when I open my eyes, I'm still met with the same scenario. The same emotions. The same expressions plastered on the doctor's and Edward's faces.

There's no escaping this harsh reality.

It's all real.

Why did it have to happen to me? To Edward?

"I'll give you two a few minutes," the doctor says softly before shutting the door behind him.

Edward turns to face me, his eyes glassy from unshed tears. "Bella, I'm _so _sorry," he chokes.

"You don't need to be sorry, Edward. It's not your fault."

"But I'm partly responsible," he counters. "With all the stress you were under…I should have done something-"

"_Damnit_, Edward! Stop blaming yourself!"

"It's true, though."

"No, it's not. Can you stop with all this self-loathing and just hold me? That's all I need right now."

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "Okay." His mouth starts to open as if he has more to say, but I don't want to hear it. I silence him by placing my index finger over his lips.

"_Stop._ Just come here."

And he does.

I open my arms to him, allowing our bodies to mold together. The only sound that fills the air is our breathing, our hearts beating. The feeling of being in his arms, the warmth he radiates, is enough for now.

There will be time for crying later.


	78. Chapter 78

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>It's been nearly a week since "it" happened, I've yet to find the motivation to get out of bed. To move around and do something productive. To distract myself. To do anything at all.<p>

I quit the campus job I started a couple weeks ago. I don't answer anyone's texts, phone calls, or e-mails.

I don't even have an appetite. Just the thought of food makes me sad, sick to my stomach. It never failed to remind me that I'd no longer be eating or drinking for two, but rather, just one.

Me.

Right now, I could care less about myself.

Because there's no one for me to take care of anymore. No one inside of me.

And seeing Edward's face- his emerald, green eyes full of sadness, was a constant reminder of that.

I _hated _it. Hated seeing him so unhappy. Devastated. Broken.

And it's all because of me.


	79. Chapter 79

**A/N: **Some of you have left me speechless (in a good way). All I can say is thank you...

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the night, soft kisses and tears wake me from my sleep.<p>

My shirt's lifted, my stomach exposed as Edward tenderly kisses my navel. My lower abdomen. My upper abdomen. My hipbones. And all throughout my belly.

He doesn't leave an inch of skin unattended to.

And he doesn't know that I'm awake, watching him.

For some reason, I don't think he wants me to see this. This moment seems too private. For the first time since the miscarriage, Edward looks completely vulnerable. He's finally let his guard down, no longer trying to play the strong one.

And I can't intrude. Leaving him alone, pretending that I'm asleep, is the best thing I can do for him right now.

He deserves this moment of just…_being_. Of just letting go.

His fingers run down my sides, stopping at the band of my shorts. The pads of his thumbs draw small, gentle circles on my stomach.

"I wish we got to meet you, Lily," Edward whispers against my skin. "You would have been _so_ beautiful. Just like your mother. We would have made you so happy…"

Trying to keep my breathing at a steady pace so as not to let him know I'm awake, I chew on the inside of my cheeks, focusing on that sensation rather than the words.

They're just too heartbreaking.

_He __already__ came__ up__ with __a __name__…__and__ thought __our__ baby __was __a _girl.

He continues to murmur against my stomach, but I don't let the words register. I don't want to hear them. If I did, I would undoubtedly break down and give myself away. And I didn't want to do that.

I already heard the worst of it, anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **If you want to keep up-to-date with the progression of my writing, or just want to hear my ramblings, here's my twitter username- MeLikesToRead. :o)


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N: **For some reason, I've had a hell of a time with writing the last couple days (hence the absence of updates). I have more written, but I'm still working on it. So, for the time being, here you go.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><em>Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.<em>

"Edward! Bella! I know you're in there! Open up!" a soprano voice yells from outside Edward's apartment, pounding furiously on the front door.

_Knock,__knock,__knock_.

Alice.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if the whole damn floor could hear the commotion she's causing. And the floors above and below, for that matter.

"What's Alice doing here?" I ask Edward while staring blankly at the cream colored ceiling, making no attempt to rise out of bed.

I've had no motivation to do anything lately.

And Edward's no different.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he shrugs. "I'll get the door."

"Okay."

As Edward sits up to slip a tee shirt over his head, I frown at the recent, drastic change in his body.

He'd lost weight. A _lot _of it.

The tone in his muscles have all but disappeared, leaving nothing but skin, bones, and pale white skin.

What were we doing to ourselves?

"You look like _hell_," I overhear Alice tell Edward after she enters the apartment, her heels clicking loudly with each step.

"_Thanks_," he says sarcastically. "Good to see you, too."

"Sorry," she apologizes sheepishly. "Just being honest. Where's my hug?"

"You don't want to hug me, Alice. I'm disgusting."

"Oh _brother_. Come here."

Suddenly, I hear the sound of whispering, but I'm unable to make out the words.

What are they talking about?

"Where is she?" I hear Alice ask a few seconds later.

"In our room."

For the first time in what seems like _forever_, I smile softly to myself. _Our __room_.

But I immediately push that aside. Shutting my eyes, I dreadfully await Alice's upcoming reaction for when she lays eyes on me. If she thinks Edward looks bad, she's going to _love _my appearance. I haven't showered in days. "_Bella!_" Alice exclaims, her eyes wide. "I miss you so much!"

She runs to my bedside, bending down to wrap her arms around my torso to pull me in for a hug. A good, long, _hard_ hug.

Wow. No judgmental comments on my greasy hair? The bags beneath my eyes? My bony face?

Works for me.

Her tight squeezing takes my breath away. Literally.

And makes the wall I've been desperately trying to build around my heart crumble down to pieces.


	81. Chapter 81

**A/N: **Tired. Yawn. There may be some errors but I'm anxious to update. Sooo... I apologize in advance (anyone know how many times I've said this in my an's?)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"I'm <em>so<em> sorry," Alice whispers in to my hair.

Unable to maintain my composure, I break down in to a series of loud sobs. My vision's blurred from tears, my heart pounding from the intense wave of emotions overruling my body.

"You've _got_ to eat," she says after pulling back.

I force a smile. "Hey, Alice."

"Hi," she smiles sadly. "I'm _so_ sorry about…_everything_."

"It's okay. What's done is done, right?"

She eyes me, concerned. "You holding up okay?"

"I'm trying," I respond, avoiding her eyes. I don't want to see her pity…her sympathy. "So, how are you?"

"Awful. I haven't seen or heard from my best friend in _ages_."

"Sorry about that. It's just…hard," I say with a thick voice, fighting back another break down.

"It's alright. But I've been missing you like crazy. You and Edward have _got_ to get up and start moving again. Everyone's been worried."

"We'll be fine," I say, growing defensive.

"I don't doubt that, Bella. But you guys shouldn't go through this alone. You've got people who care for you, who want to be there for you."

"I know that."

"Then why aren't you letting us in?"

I shrug. To be perfectly honest, I didn't exactly know the answer to her question, other than the fact that I didn't give a flying crap about myself anymore. I pretty much lost the will to make something out of my life the second I exited the hospital.

"Well, guess what?" Alice asks rhetorically. "I'm not going anywhere. And I know for a _fact_ that your family and other friends aren't, either. Charlie was about to drive over here himself, but I insisted he hold off…at least until I got a chance to speak to you first."

"Oh," I say simply, unsure of what else to add.

"Yeah…_oh_. You guys should have answered our calls, texts, e-mails, and whatever the hell else you received from us."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. Just…_please_, talk to us. Do something other than isolate yourself like this," Alice says pleadingly. "If you keep this up, things are just going to bottle up and get worse with time. You and Edward have _got _to let it go."

_Let __it __go?_ How in the hell could I just "let go" of something as significant as losing a baby, another human life?

A sudden anger boils within me. "I can't just 'let go' of Edward's and my child, Alice," I snap.

Completely dumbfounded over my outburst, Alice stutters. "Ummm…I…I didn't mean it that way-"

"Then what _did_ you mean? Do you know what it's like to have a damn miscarriage?"

"No." Alice's lips quiver.

"Then don't fucking tell me that shit."

"I'm sorry, Bella. That came out wrong!"

"Sure hope it did."

She sighs. "I just meant that you shouldn't repress your emotions and keep them to yourself. Open up and express them without holding back."

"Well, that's easier said than done."

"I know. But at least _try_."

"Maybe I will, but not right now."

She quirks her brow. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it with someone who doesn't understand what it's like to experience this type of trauma."

An expression of hurt crosses her face. "Oh. Alright, then."


	82. Chapter 82

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I was a bitch. A complete callous, cruel, hot tempered bitch.<p>

Alice didn't deserve to be the recipient of my angered outburst. All she wanted to do was help- to be a good friend.

And I didn't let her.

Once Edward's front door clicked shut after she left, I instantly cried tears of regret.

But I couldn't help the fury that overcame me. What she said about letting go just seemed so…dismissive. Perhaps I was being melodramatic, but Alice really didn't…_couldn__'__t_ understand the situation- what it was like to lose someone so dear, so precious to you; someone who you loved with all your heart who you haven't even met yet. Not unless she experienced it herself.

Sighing, I groan to myself. I was awful.

I needed to talk to her. To apologize.

But I also needed to talk to someone who could relate to me. Who went through what I went through, and give me some advice on how to deal with this loss.

Like the flip of a light switch, one name immediately comes to mind.

Rosalie.

* * *

><p><strong>EN:** The pacing in terms of the timeline of the story will be picking up within the next five chaplets or so, which I'm hoping to have posted in the next few days (less than a week).


	83. Chapter 83

**A/N:** Did anyone receive an e-mail notification for the previous chaplet I posted? Because my hit/visitor count was lower than usual...

Anyhoo, here ya go. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming all the way here, Rose. It really means a lot," I greet her while motioning her inside Edward's apartment.<p>

"No problem. I told you I'd be here for you whenever you needed me, didn't I?" she smiles, her facial expression practically relaying the thought, _you__ silly __girl_.

"Yes, you did."

Her eyes quickly scan the kitchen and living room. "Where's Edward?"

"Out with his friend, Emmett."

"Oohh, is he single…?" she asks, her eyes brightening.

"Uhhh, I don't know…"

"You never told me about him," she accuses teasingly.

"Sorry…"

"I'm kidding. _Kinda_," she smiles as she takes a seat on the couch, making herself comfortable.

"Oohh."

"I figured you'd need some lightening up. Seems like you haven't laughed, or _smiled_ in awhile."

"I haven't."

"Thought so." She scrutinizes my face, examining my eyes in particular.

Diverting my eyes away from her lack of discreetness, I suddenly feel self-conscious. Vulnerable. Exposed.

"I'm gonna be straight up and honest here, Bella. So don't take offense or get hurt, alright?"

"Okay…"

"You look like hell," she says simply.

"I know."

"You've lost weight. And you've _got_ to eat."

"I know," I repeat.

"How's Edward taking this?"

"Not much different than myself."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I guess that's not surprising," she murmurs, practically to herself rather than to me. She meets my eyes once again. "So, start from the beginning. Tell me everything."

And I do. Over the next hour, I relive every single detail I remember, every emotion I felt. Everything Edward did for me. Everything he did that he didn't know I was aware of, including him whispering on to my stomach. I tell her about Alice, my outburst, my moping. I cry, and Rose ends up crying along with me. By the end of my incoherent rambling, which I'm surprised she even understood, we both look like complete, absolute messes with our puffy eyes, swollen eyelids, and reddened lips.

"Well, there goes my makeup," Rose says, dabbing at her eyelashes with her index fingers in attempt to clean the mess her mascara created.

"Sorry…"

"Ugh, stop it, silly. Don't pull an Edward on my ass. Stop apologizing."

"_Pull__ an__ Edward_. Nice."

"Isn't it?"'

"Yes. Sounds kind of perverted, though," I smirk.

"It does," she laughs. "But _that__'__s_ what I'd like to see right there. Your smile. You need to do that more often."

"I'll try."

"No. You _will_."

"Okay."

"Say it out loud. Sometimes you've just got to in order to make it real. I know it sounds cheesy but…"

"I _will _smile more often."

"There you go. That's what I had to do. And still do."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Alright," I nod. "So…enough about me. It's time to hear _your_ story."


	84. Chapter 84

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Hmmmm, where to begin…Well, first off, the bastard was no Edward, that's for sure."<p>

"I assumed. Was the father Royce?"

"Ugh, _hell_ no. This guy was my '_high_ _school__ sweetheart__'_." Rose rolls her eyes, using air quotes. "His name was Caius."

"Caius? That's an interesting name…"

"A _dumb_ one," Rosalie scoffs. "Anyway, he was abusive- both mentally _and _physically. He was worse than Royce, believe it or not."

"Oh my gosh. Why did you put up with it? It doesn't seem like you…"

Rose proceeds to tell me that she had dealt with abuse her entire life, up until her father's passing several years ago in a car accident. Drunk driving, on his part. "_He__ asked__ for __it_," Rose says, no sympathy for him whatsoever in her venom-filled voice.

She thought she couldn't do any better, since her mother didn't. But when she watched all her classmates' relationships in middle school, she couldn't help but long for what they had.

Respect. Affection. Innocent, romantic gestures.

And that's when she met Caius.

At first, he wasn't _so _bad in Rose's eyes- occasional yelling here and there; but then about six months or so in to their relationship, things began to get progressively worse. Which eventually led to him raping her.

And leaving her pregnant. At fifteen.

Gasping, I cover my hand over my mouth in absolute shock. _Raped?__ Fifteen?_

"_Wow._ And the baby…?" I whisper.

"Aborted," she says semidetached, her face completely blank, expressionless.

"And you wanted-"

"_No_. Despite the situation, I did _not_ want to. It wasn't the baby's fault. I could have _at least_ given the baby up for adoption." Her voice breaks.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because Caius kept beating me up. And he threatened it would only get worse until I did it…"

"_Oh my gosh_," I gasp, breathless.

"Yeah. And then he left me after I had it done."

"_Wow_. I…I don't know what to say." And I thought _I_ had it bad. At least Edward's been by my side the entire time. In that sense, I really was lucky.

Doing the only thing I could think of that could possibly be of any use at the moment, I pull her in to my arms for a hug.

"You don't need to say anything. What's done is done," she says as I pat her upper back.

"You didn't deserve that." I pull back and stare at her square in the eyes.

"I know."

"How did you manage to be so strong and overcome all that?"

"Counseling. _Lots_ of it. I took some time off of school, too."

"Do you still see them?"

"Yes. Every few weeks. It really helps."

"Okay." I think to myself about that. Perhaps I should do the same. And Edward, if he's willing. "How has your mom been since…everything?"

"She's okay for the most part. She began counseling shortly after I started. Still a work in progress, but at least there's improvement, you know?"

"Yeah, true."

"Ummm, Bella?" Rose asks, suddenly appearing self-conscious with the softness of her voice and downcast eyes.

And...flushed face.

How is that possible? _Rose? Blushing?_ For the first time, she looks completely vulnerable.

"Yes?" I ask, masking my smile.

"I must confess," she starts, "that you and Edward have been a huge help for me, too."

"_Really?_" I ask in shock. "How so?"

"You two gave me faith in good guys and relationships...and helped me believe that I shouldn't settle for just anyone, or deal with _any _type of abuse. That's one of the main reasons why I left Royce."

"That is wonderful," I smile, my insides swelling with proudness and joy. "I'm _so _glad to hear that. You deserve the best, Rose."

"Thank you."

"No. Thank _you_. For sharing your story and opening up to me. I know that mustn't have been easy."

"It wasn't," Rose sighs. "Which is _why _we are ending the heavy. Right now. Let's get some food in to that stomach of yours."

On instinct, a habit I couldn't seem to break, I place both of my hands over my empty, childless stomach. "Okay."


	85. Chapter 85

**A/N: **I apologize. I apologize. A thousand times, I apologize (can you guess where that's influenced from? And did I say this before? Because I could have sworn I have...or maybe I'm just losing it). I've had tons of things happening- one of the main things being that I got ENGAGED! Which is sort of funny, considering the Prologue of this fic, lol. But, just so you all know, I'm NOT giving up on this story despite the fact I haven't been updating as much as I used to. From now on, I don't want to make any more promises in terms of posting, so I don't leave anyone disappointed. Just know that this is still one of the top things on my "priorities" list.

I can't guarantee much on the quality of my writing, either. Especially for the next few chaplets. It's been awhile, and I'm rusty. :/ I know I say this quite a bit; I'm just real self-conscious about my writing.

For those who recently added this to their faves, as well "After All" (which was a surprising treat), you made me :o)

Thanks for the continued support/views/pm's/alerts/reviews. It means tons, tons, TONS. :o)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Emmett and Rose meet.<p>

And the rest is pretty much history.

When Edward and Emmett returned from the gym, all it took was one look.

"Nice to meet you, Rosalie," Emmett greets her cordially once they've been properly introduced by Edward.

Her eyes rake down his body- from his curly brown hair to his broad chest, all the way down to his Nikes before finally meeting his eyes. "Hi, Emmett."

She makes no attempt to disguise her attraction towards him- the timbre of her voice and lust in her eyes clearly give her away. And she doesn't seem to care.

I suppress the involuntary urge to tilt the corners of my lips up in to a smile.

So…_this _is how she is when she meets someone she's interested in.

Edward's eyes sparkle in amusement as he appears to have made the same observation I had.

It seems like an eternity since I've last seen that.

A foreign sensation dwells within me as I feel my insides grow a little softer. I miss that look, that liveliness that used to be there on a regular basis each time I've seen him. It makes him look younger. Alive.

The atmosphere in the room is light for once. I revel in it. Grasp it. Because I'm not sure how long it will last.

"Do you still want to make smoothies?" Edward asks Emmett, breaking the silence.

"Nah, it's okay. I didn't know you had guests," his eyes sheepishly drift towards Rose. "And I'm not exactly presentable at the moment."

"It's no big deal. I'm sure Rose doesn't mind," Edward counters. "Right, Rose?"

"Of course I don't. Don't let me interrupt your guys' plans."

"Alright, then. If you say so…" Emmett says.

A half hour passes, and the underlying tension between the two doesn't seem to let up. From his seat at the breakfast counter barstool, Emmett attempts to inconspicuously sneak hidden glances at Rose.

But he fails miserably. She catches him staring nearly each time his eyes are on her, as if she could sense it. And whenever she does, his eyes immediately dart towards the opposite direction.

It's like high school all over again.

"Well, I ought to get going," Emmett announces as he stands up.

"Me, too," Rose says, mirroring Emmett. "I have to catch my ferry."

"Ferry?" Emmett asks, curious and somewhat surprised.

"Yes. I live in Bremerton."

"Oh. Do you want me to give you a ride?"

"If it's not out of your way…"

"It's not," he lies. "Don't worry about it." It very much_ is_ out of his way. He'll be zigzagging from Edward's apartment to the ferry terminal, all the way back to Edward's apartment with an additional five blocks to go.

"Alright," she nods. "I'll see you soon, Bella. Keep in touch." She bends down to give me a hug and peck on the cheek. "Take it easy."

"I will. You, too."

"See ya, Edward."

"Bye," he waves.

Laughing softly after shutting the door after Emmett and Rose, Edward settles on to the couch takes me in to his arms. "Something's about to go down with those two," he predicts.

"Without a doubt," I agree as I rest one side of my face against his chest, absorbing his warmth and the moistness of his shirt caused by his sweating at the gym. I inhale his scent.

"Ughhh, Bella, I'm disgusting! I haven't showered yet!" he yells as he attempts to lift my head. But I don't allow him to. I wrap my arms around his shoulder blades, securing my position.

"I don't care, Edward. It's just us. Plus, you started it."

"How so?"

"By joining me on the couch."

"Well, still…" he sighs, "it's disgusting."

"Whatever. I don't care." I kiss his chest.

"Ewww, Bella!"

"Ewww, what? You're my boyfriend. I can do as I please." I smile as I tighten my hold.

"Are you sure about that?" he chuckles.

"Yes," I smirk. Lifting my head, I look in to his emerald eyes before softly kissing his lips. I kiss them again. And again. And again…

Before I know it, Edward's hovering above me, his body settled in between my legs. Against my thigh, I feel him growing hard.

"Edward…" I moan as he thrusts against me, grunting.

"Oh my god," he groans. "I miss this."

"Me too. Don't stop."

But he does the opposite. His body suddenly freezes and he pulls himself away from me, putting a small space between us. Feeling hurt and frustrated, I narrow my eyes at him. "Why did you stop?"

"Because we shouldn't do this."

"What? _Why_?"

"Because…" he starts, seeming to be at a loss for words.

"Because what…?"

"I don't know."

_That's what I thought, _I think to myself_. _There's no reason I can conjure up that could explain his behavior, or whatever the hell it was he was thinking. He said he _missed_ what we were just doing, for crying out loud. "You don't make any sense."

"Sorry," he mumbles. "I guess it's just been awhile and it feels…different for some reason."

"Want to talk about it?"

"It's okay. Maybe some other time, but not tonight." He stands up and nods his head towards the bathroom. "I should shower…"

"Want me to join you?"

"_Really?_" he exclaims loudly, his eyes widening in shock as if we'd never done it before. But we had. Several times.

"Yes," I respond, chuckling.

I don't need to answer him twice. Before I realize what's happening, he swiftly scoops me up from the couch and carries me in to the bathroom.


	86. Chapter 86

**A/N: **This is the longest wait you've all had for a new chaplet, and I am sorry for that. I hate making you guys wait so long. :o( Each time I was trying to write, I had writer's block or some other sort of distraction. Crazy new year so far. But like I said in the last chaplet's A/N, this IS one of my top priorities.

I hope you all are enjoying 2012!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>My palms are sweaty, my heart pounding furiously in my chest as Edward and I sit in the lobby of our new therapist, Dr. Garrett Denali's, office. It's our first appointment, and I'm a nervous wreck. For the past several minutes, I've been aimlessly flipping through the latest issue of <em>Rolling Stone<em> in attempt to distract myself. But it's pointless.

It's been several weeks since I've spoken to anyone other than family and close friends, and now here I am, about to unravel myself in front of a complete stranger about personal, sensitive issues…issues that are still fresh and raw…

Was I going to be able to pull through this?

"That doesn't seem to be working," Edward whispers into my ear, pulling me out of my trance as he takes one of my hands in to both of his, the corner of his lips forming into a soft, lopsided grin. He appears to be handling the situation much better than myself.

"I know," I sigh, resigned.

"This was your idea," he accuses me teasingly as he nudges the side of his body against mine.

Sighing once again, my back slouching, I nod my head. "I know," I repeat. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

"It's worth trying out. Everyone grieves in their own way, honey. We'll just take things as they come. If this doesn't seem to be working, we can always stop."

"True…"

"You can do this," Edward assures me determinedly, kissing my temple. "You're a strong woman."

"I don't feel like one."

"Well, you _are_. And I'm here with you. We're going through this together. We're a team."

"Yes, we are."

A few minutes later, after my nerves have somehow miraculously receded somewhat, a tall, slender, middle-aged man with dark brown hair and pale, white skin enters the lobby from a hallway and calls our names. "Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan?"

On cue, my heart rate accelerates once again.

"Let's go," Edward whispers as he squeezes my hand.

The doctor glances down at our interlaced fingers and offers a warm smile. "You're Edward and Isabella?" he asks in a friendly tone.

"That's us," Edward confirms, his voice matching Dr. Denali's.

"You can call me Garrett if you'd like. No need for formalities."

"Alright."

Dr. Denali turns his head to face me, his blue eyes looking directly into mine. "Hi, Isabella."

"Hi," I smile shyly. "You can call me Bella."

"Okay, Bella," he says as his smile widens, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes growing more defined. "Well, go ahead and follow me." He nods his head towards the direction he came from.

Seconds later, Edward and I are seated on a leather couch facing Garrett, who's sitting in a chair that honestly doesn't appear the least bit comfortable. It looks slightly outdated, if I were guesstimate, from the nineteen eighties, and completely made of wood. There's no pillow cushion or padding whatsoever, making me wonder how in the world he's able to sit on that thing for fifty minutes straight, which is the length of time his appointments are.

To each his own, I guess.

"So…" Garrett starts after turning his eyes from me to Edward, "How has your day been so far?"

"It's been fine for the most part," Edward replies, "other than the nerves."

_Nerves? What nerves? _I think to myself. Edward seems completely at ease.

"Of being here today?"

"Yes."

"There's no need to worry. You only share what you want to share- there's no pressure. Whatever you say will remain within the confines of this room, between the three of us."

Edward and I nod our heads in unison, acknowledging his words.

"Today, I'm just going to bring up simple, straight forward topics. If you don't want to discuss any of them, just say so and we'll talk about something else."

"Alright," Edward says.

"Is there anything you'd like to discuss first, though?"

_Yes_, I thought, my mind immediately drifting to Lily.

I open my mouth in attempt to speak, but my throat immediately becomes parched, words unable to escape my lips.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Garrett asks, noticing the anxiety that's plastered on my face.

"Yes," I lie.

"Are you sure?"

_No_. "Yes."

"Alright. Well, feel free to say anything at any time, okay?" he says, smiling softly.

"Okay."

Despite his easy dismissal of my behavior, I'm certain tha he's not convinced by my words. Hell…_I _wouldn't be. And I'm sure Edward isn't, either. From my peripheral vision, I can see Edward's eyes on me.

"So…tell me about yourselves," Garrett says. "Or if you'd like, share what you've been up to recently."

Edward answers first. Of course. "I'll start, I guess…" his voice trails. "I'm a med student at U-Dub from Forks. I'm in a relationship with my best friend…" he brings one of his hands to my thigh and squeezes it softly, "and I have an apartment in downtown."

Their conversation flows smoothly, completely harmless. But then the topic turns to me. Garrett asks me to tell him about myself, and I do so with uncertainty and nervousness. Never in my life have I felt this vulnerable and self-conscious. It's not a pleasant experience.

But I know I must go through with this. Because I want to get better. Stronger. It's time to take the next step in my life and stop dwelling on something that can't be changed. It's not healthy for Edward and I to be stuck in time- to dwell. And not to mention our families...they don't need to be dragged in to this any more than they already are. They've done plenty.

But most importantly, I don't want Edward's and my relationship to be at risk. Which it very well could be, if we don't try to change things.

Like Edward said- he and I are a team. And we're going to face this together. So, I while grasping on to his hand, I open up as much as I can to the man in front of me.


	87. Chapter 87

**A/N: **I know, I know. It's been _months_. With planning my wedding, job searching (I even had a temp job for awhile, woohoo *sarcasm*), and near-future move, things have been a little crazy. But I haven't given up or forgotten about this fic. And I am going to have this completed. Whenever I actually had some time to work on it, it felt "half-ass" and/or something just wasn't right. I hope you stick around, but if you don't, I completely understand. :/

Also, I heard of ff'n pulling fics and all that great stuff. Sooo, I'll be posting chaplets on my blog or create an account on another fanfiction site (any suggestions? I heard of LiveJournal, TWCS…). In my previous chaplets (and other fics) I mentioned my blogspot site, but I'm going to change the address (if that's possible. Still have to look into that). I'll keep you posted.

I know this chaplet isn't long and I wanted to give you guys more, but I figured this is better than nothing. You guys have waited long enough. I'll try my best to update ASAP. Like I said before, I don't want to make any more promises on posting days/dates/schedule. Like you all know, RL happens, and sometimes things don't go along as planned. And as a reader, I know it sucks when you're expecting an update, and it doesn't happen.

Heart you all.

SM owns all things _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my expressed consent.

* * *

><p><strong>November, 2007<strong>

Therapy's been going surprisingly well. Not _great _or _awesome _by any means, but…good. It took some time, but Edward and I are actually making progress in opening up to Garrett.

For the most part.

One of the things…or perhaps the _only _thing Edward and I don't discuss candidly with him is our sex life. Which has been lacking. Big time. Edward's practically been avoiding making it to "home plate" so to speak, ever since the miscarriage. He touches me of course, but it's nothing more than the sweet, innocent gestures- holding my hand, hugs, kisses …that's basically it.

Which leaves me frustrated. _And _makes me wonder if he still sees me like he used to.

Each night while lying in our usual spooning position in bed before falling asleep, I don't feel him being affected by my presence…my body…whatsoever, like he used to. Even with my body pressed firmly against his, there's just been…nothing. It was almost as if we were just "best friends" and nothing more, just like how we were before we got together. Didn't he still find me attractive? Wasn't I still tempting and lustful in his eyes?

So one night, I finally decide to get those questions answered by tentatively grinding against him. And thank _goodness, _he gives me the response I was looking for- that _groan_ I haven't heard in so long.

Feeling the vibration radiating off his chest spurs me on. I softly whimper and continue to rub myself against him, increasing the friction, feeling him grow harder and harder...

But then after a few seconds, Edward suddenly freezes. He firmly places his hands on my hips, keeping me in place.

"Bella…"

"What?" I ask in a soft voice barely above a whisper, attempting to mask my frustration and sadness.

"We need to go to sleep."

"I know."

Easing his grip, he presses his lips against my temple and gives me a lingering kiss.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

Within a couple minutes, he's completely unconscious, snoring softly.

And here I am, wide awake, watching his peaceful expression while tears freely stream down my face.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I know; awful way to end it. But this will motivate me to update faster!


	88. Chapter 88

**A/N: **It was wonderful hearing from some of you again! Made me super :D

Remember, unbeta'ed :/ I'm also a bit rusty on my writing.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward and I are back in Forks for the holidays, staying at his parents' place once again. This time, we actually get to share the same bedroom without trying to be discreet.<p>

At this point in our relationship, I've pretty much given up on initiating anything sexual with him. After all, I had been unsuccessful each time I tried to do something that went beyond groping and removing whatever shirt he'd be wearing at the time. There's only so much I could do, so much rejection I could take. And I received more than enough of that to last an entire decade. It was getting to the point where I appeared desperate (which, if I were to be completely honest, I was); and there is _nothing _attractive about that whatsoever.

I didn't need to add any more pain and disappointment to my already plummeting self-confidence. I did all I could. Everything's going to lie in Edward's hands now.

**.~.~.~.~.~.**

During our third day back in town, I receive a text.

_**Hi. **_

Jacob!

Grinning, I respond immediately. I suddenly feel a million times lighter than I have these past several weeks.

_**Hey, Jake! How are you? –B**_

_**I'm doing well. You?**_

_**I'm okay…I'm in Forks right now. –B**_

_**I know. Forks is a small town, remember? Word travels fast.**_

A small pang hits my chest. It makes me feel awful, and even somewhat guilty, that Jacob had to hear about my visit second hand. It never used to be this way with us- we had been so close before. But that last time we spoke with each other affected all that. I didn't attempt to contact him and vice versa; so naturally, we drifted away from each other these past several months.

I'm going to attempt to change that, though.

_**Are you doing anything tomorrow? –B **_

_**I'm busy in the morning, but I'll be free after 1. **_

_**Okay. Mind if I come by your place at around 2, and we can hang out for old times' sake? –B **_

_**Of course you can, Bells. No need to ask.**_

_**Okay! I'll call you tomorrow. –B.**_

_**Alright, later.**_

I didn't know I was grinning from ear-to-ear until Edward's voice startles me from the doorway of our room.

"You look happy," he observes, his eyes searching my face while walking towards me.

"I am. Just texted with Jake."

"Oh? How's he doing?"

"Fine, I guess. I'm going to hang out with him tomorrow, if that's okay. We don't have anything going on, do we?"

"Nope; nothing's planned for tomorrow."

"Okay. So it's cool if I go?"

"Of course. He's your friend, Bella."

"Alright," I smile. "Let's go downstairs. You can help Esme and I prepare dinner for tonight," I laugh.

"Oh, yeah. I'm just _dying _to do that," he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"You know you are." Since I'm still on my little high, I decide to make the most out of my good mood and act a little immature. I pinch Edward's butt and run past him. "Race you downstairs!"


	89. Chapter 89

**A/N: **Once again, it's awesome hearing from you all again! It seriously makes my day. Thanks for being supportive and welcoming me back with open arms. :-)

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Motorcycles.<p>

I forgot how exciting they were. As I walk towards Jacob's front door and notice that his is sitting inside the garage, I feel the sudden urge to ride. The adrenaline rush was just the thing I needed.

At first Jacob refuses due to the freezing weather, but after some insistent persuading and whining, he finally gives in.

Thank goodness.

We end up spending the entire afternoon cruising through Forks and Port Angeles. Even Averdeen. And of course, we stop off at First Beach- our final destination.

"Bbrrrrr!" I shiver, trilling my lips. I flex the muscles in my face- scrunching my nose, wiggling my eyebrows, shifting my lips from left to right, attempting to regain some circulation and ease the numbness.

"You look ridiculous," Jake chuckles.

"Oh shush. Aren't _you _cold?"

"Not really. I'm used to it."

"What? How the hell are you used to _this_? The reservation isn't nearly this cold during the winter."

"I know. I've just been out here lately."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Just to get away from it all. Do some thinking."

"Really? What's wrong?" I ask, feeling concerned for my old friend. Something must have happened. Jacob's always been such an extrovert- he very rarely wanted to spend time alone. In fact, I don't even recall a time when he actually wanted to do that.

At least, that's the Jacob I remember.

He ends up venting to me about all the drama he had dealt with with Leah, leading up to their recent break up. Things did not end well between them.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I frown. "The last time you spoke with me about her, it seemed like she was so good for you."

"I know. Some things just aren't meant to last, I guess."

"I guess," I echo, turning my eyes towards the ocean. My thoughts drift to Edward and our relationship.

For the first time, I feel uncertain about us. And it does not feel good. At all.


	90. Chapter 90

**A/N: **Happy US Independence Day!

Thank you for the continued love and support. Muah!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight. _I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Ever since Edward and I returned back to Seattle, things between us got progressively worse.<p>

Particularly on his end.

I had a feeling that it probably had to do with the fact that Jacob and I reconnected during winter break and kept in touch on a regular basis once again. Whenever Edward discovered I was communicating with him somehow- whether it be via phone or e-mail, he'd roll his eyes then turn his attention elsewhere.

At least he accepted it. Sort of.

Jacob helped numb my pain. He was the only friend that had the ability to make me forget the troubles I went through and feel light. Happy. Like the Bella I once was back in Forks.

And I needed that.

Meeting with Garrett to hash and re-hash things that couldn't be changed emotionally and physically drained me, leaving me completely spent. Whenever he, Edward and I tried to discuss the future, my heart was never in it, no matter how much I wanted it to be. Garrett knew basically all there was to know about our past, but he didn't have the entire picture of how our life is _now_. And he knows it. The topic about our sex life had been brought up by him a couple times, but Edward and I always brushed it off and moved along to discuss something else.

We were both too stubborn and embarrassed to open up about our sex life. And because of that, therapy had pretty much reached its peak.


	91. Chapter 91

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight. _I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p><strong>June, 2008<strong>

"They left?" I anxiously ask Rose after she received a text from Emmett, anticipating Edward's and his return home from the gym.

"Yeah, they're on their way here."

"Okay," I softly exhale, making a quick run through the entire apartment to make sure everything's in order and ready to go for the surprise party I planned up for Edward. Cake with candles prepared to be lit: check. Decorations all in place: check. All food cooked and set on the table: check. All attendees present- Rose, Alice, Jasper, Ang, Ben, Edward's parents, Charlie and Sue: check. Edward's gifts in the living room: check.

Whew.

No more than fifteen minutes later, Edward enters the door with Emmett tagged along behind him, and is completely dumbfounded by the greeting he receives.

"SURPRISE!" everyone yells collectively.

We sing him happy birthday and let him blow out the candles.

"Wow," Edward says, his mouth gaped open. His eyes widen, his brows arching as he scans the room. "Mom and Dad? Charlie and Sue?"

"Hi, honey," Esme smiles, walking towards him to pull him into a hug. "Ugh. You need to shower."

"I know," he chuckles, and then turns his attention towards me. "So, is this why you've been acting strange these past couple weeks?"

"Yes. Sorry about that," I blush.

"No need to apologize. I love all of this. Thank you, Bella."

"You're welcome. Anything for you, Edward."

Time freezes when he leans his head down to kiss me softly, tenderly, with a passion I was once so familiar with. An electric current courses through me and I moan into his mouth deepening the kiss.

"Gross. Get a room, you guys," Rose groans.

"Or better yet, join him in the shower, Bella," Emmett adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

_Out of all the times for this to happen…damn it!_

Edward's and my families groan as everyone else laughs, their eyes growing mischievous.

As Edward smiles against my lips and gives me one final kiss, I feel overjoyed to know that that side of him still exists deep down, that it hadn't completely disappeared. Because he was honestly having me on pins and needles with the increased distance he'd put between us- both as friends and lovers.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **Bella got some plus points with this sweet gesture, huh? :P I have another chaplet completed. Might post it pretty soon. :-)


	92. Chapter 92

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight. _I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>During dinner, my phone beeps with a text notification.<p>

"Is that Jacob?" Edward asks, practically sneering with venom in his voice.

_Fuck_. I should have turned my phone off.

"Yes," I reply softly, glancing down at the screen.

"Well, what do you know. Surprise, surprise."

A tense silence fills the apartment. Other than the clanking of silverware and Edward's aggressive stabbing with his fork, you could practically hear a pin drop.

After what seems like an eternity, Esme tries to lighten the mood by asking about everyone's summer plans. Edward and I continue to remain silent. A few minutes later, Edward excuses himself and disappears into the bedroom.

Ten minutes pass, and he still hadn't returned to the party.

Just great.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I know things are like a roller coaster ride right now with these two, and you all may be wondering "when are we going to get to the Prologue so we know what's going to happen with these two?" We're not far away from there (I promise!). :-)


	93. Chapter 93

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I peak my head into the bedroom and see Edward sitting at the edge of the bed. His back is slumped forward, elbows resting on his knees. The expression on his face tugs at my heart. And not in the good way.<p>

"Edward? Are you alright?"

"Does it look like I am?" he asks rhetorically, remaining motionless.

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize."

"Yes, I do. I should have shut my cell phone o-"

"What's done is done. It just would have been nice if you could have spent one day with me, without having to talk to him. Just o_ne. Day_. But apparently, that's not possible. Even on my damn birthday."

"That's not true."

_Is it?_

"Don't bullshit me, Bella. There's not a single day that goes by where you two don't communicate somehow. Even with the distance between you guys, you two are inseparable."

"You're overreacting."

"No, I'm not. Your face lights up like a Christmas tree whenever you talk to him. I don't even need to ask who you're speaking to anymore- it's so obvious."

My insides fall apart at his words, a tidal wave of hurt and guilt hitting me. I didn't realize I'd been so transparent.

And there's no use in denying his claim. Edward and I know each other all too well. Denying it will just make him more upset. So, not knowing what else to say, I apologize to him again.

"Let's go back to the party, alright?"

And with that, he stands up and brushes past me, leaving me in the bedroom alone.


	94. Chapter 94

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I gape at Edward's retreating form.<p>

_What. The. Hell?!_

Did that seriously just happen?

The rest of the evening is tainted. Esme gives me a sympathetic look, knowing that I'm going to have an unpleasant night ahead of me. As if this wasn't bad enough.

Less than a half hour later, everyone's left to go home.

"Edward..."

"Not right now, Bella. I just want to go to sleep."

"Don't you think we need to talk?"

"Later. My head hurts."

"Alright..."

He leaves me alone in the living room, to my own devices. I clean through the leftover remnants of the party, which wasn't much at all. I'm finished in less than ten minutes.

I have no clue what to do. Do I join him in bed? Watch television in the living room?

Entering our bedroom, I watch him sleeping on his stomach, lightly snoring. I dress down to my underwear and join him.


	95. Chapter 95

_Disclaimer: _SM owns all things Twilight. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>A couple weeks pass and the underlying tension between Edward and I continues to linger.<p>

He wouldn't discuss what happened on his birthday, or anything else that may lead to potential arguments.

In other words, I was fairly sure he was avoiding the topic of my communicating with Jacob.

Our conversations were nothing but superficial and manufactured. Edward would be overly-polite, treating me almost as if I were just a roommate and not his girlfriend. As if I wasn't the Bella he's known for most of his life. Which leads me to feeling uncomfortable, on edge, and scared.

He's intentionally slipping away from me, even more so than he had before.

I don't even feel comfortable sharing a bed with him anymore. He doesn't cuddle like he used to.

When he returns home late one night without telling me where he's been, my lid instantly explodes.

"Where have you been?!"

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **Stick with me? Have faith. I know it's been a long while since I've updated, but I AM completing this fic, along with the others.

To read some "lighter" stuff, check out my drabbles/one-shots for the Twilight 25. The link's here: s/8966529/1/The-Twilight-25-Round-7

*replace '.''s with "."*


	96. Chapter 96

Stephenie Meyer owns everything _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Edward is obviously intoxicated, his eyes appearing somewhat hazy and his body slouchy. "Had dinner with Emmett," he slurs, unaffected by my anger.<p>

"And some drinks too, I presume?"

"Yup," he says, loudly popping the 'p'. He stumbles out of his shoes, kicking them towards the front door.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know," he says, lazily shrugging his shoulders. "Who gives a shit about me."

"_Edward!_" I hiss, shaking my head at him. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing."

"What can I do for you? Can I get you something? A glass of water?" I begin to pour him one before he can protest.

"No."

"Nothing at all?"

"You heard me, Bella. No." He takes the glass of water from my hand and downs it in three huge gulps. Sighing loudly, he sets the empty glass on the counter beside the sink.

"Why are you being like this?" I whisper through unshed tears, trying to search his eyes.

"I don't know. Maybe you can call Jacob so he can make you feel better. You don't need to see this."

"Edward, if this is about him-"

"It's not _just about Jacob_, Bella. Damnit!" he yells abruptly, taking me by surprise. I stumble a few steps back, clutching my chest. "He was just the tip of the iceberg. We've gone through so much shit, and seeing the way you are with him...it fucking _sucks_. I can't be there for you like that anymore. He keeps you distracted, and that's something you need. I'm nothing but a constant reminder of what happened."

"We should talk about this while you're sober, Edward." He can't possibly mean what he's saying.

"Why? There's no point. This is how I feel. My filter's loose. I'm not holding back. This is _me_, Bella. You want to talk? You want to know the truth? Well, there you go."

"Edward..."

"I don't know what to do anymore."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I apologize for any errors. Un-beta'ed, and it's late. :P

Have faith...


	97. Chapter 97

Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>My heart, it hurts.<p>

My tears flow non-stop

Eyes swollen, red eyes.

I can barely breathe. I'm scared of the night, of trying to go to sleep.

Because that's when he haunts me.

Without realizing it, I scream at the top of my lungs.

And he's not there.

"Bella, are you okay?" Rose asks.

"No," I sob.

She runs her hand through my hair, trying to soothe me. She doesn't need to say anything, because she knows words won't make me feel any better.

Because Edward wanted out. Said it'd be best for us to have space for the time being.

And I don't like it. Not having his scent to fall asleep to. His warm body within reach.

He barely responds to my texts. Doesn't return my phone calls.

It seemed so easy for him to let me go.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **I know I said it before, but I'll say it again. Have faith...


	98. Chapter 98

Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>Nearly three months pass, and barely anything's changed. There's still that numbness, with that emptiness, that hollow in my chest. I don't want to go out with friends. I don't want to go out to the movies or dinner. I just want to be left alone.<p>

Everyone suggests that I see Dr. Denali again, but I refuse to. Look what good it did Edward and me.

Nothing. Just led me to being here. Lonely and heartbroken. He didn't need to hear my pity party.

My cell phone rings, but I don't bother to look at the caller ID. I ignore the call.

Constant ringing, for three minutes straight. This person just won't let up!

_Damnit!_

"Hello," I snarl into the phone.

"Hey, Bella." It's Alice. "I'm coming over in an hour to take you to lunch. So be ready. I'm _not _taking no for answer."

_Click_.

What the fuck?


	99. Chapter 99

Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>"Where are we going?"<p>

"Out to lunch," Alice replies. "But I forgot to get something, so we need to head back to Jasper's."

"Jasper?"

"Yeah, Bella. _Jasper. _You know, my boyfriend?"

"Oh, right." _What the hell is wrong with me?_

She sighs.

"But why Jasper's place?"

"Because, my things are there. I spent the night," she blushes.

"Is that _so_?" I smile; my first, true genuine one in what seems like ages.

I almost don't bother to push for details, 'cause hell, who am I to do that after being such a shitty friend lately? But I can't help it.

She gushes over him for the rest of the car ride, which I'm thankful for, because I am not ready to talk about myself. When we pull up to his place, her smile brightens even more, as if she wasn't beaming enough already.

"Come in with me," she says.

"You sure? I look like hell." I glance down and my dirty, worn jeans and oversized grey tee shirt.

"I _insist_."

I tag along slowly behind her. She knocks on the door, Jasper opens, and they greet each other with a kiss on the lips. Jasper moves off to the side so the both of us can enter.

After he shuts the front door... "_Surprise!_"

* * *

><p><strong>EN: **If you'd like to read a little more from moi, I completed the Twilight 25 drabble/one-shot challenge! Click on my profile, and it's named as The Twilight 25, Round 7. The story ID is: s/8966529/1/The-Twilight-25-Round-7

There IS a lemon in there. :P


	100. Chapter 100

**A/N: **Just want you to know I didn't plan on taking this long to post a new chaplet after updating with several a few weeks ago. A family member passed away, so I was obviously preoccupied with that.

Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_. I own the rest. No redistribution without my consent.

* * *

><p>I'm greeted by a set of wide smiles and beaming faces. Rose. Emmett. Angela. Ben. Jacob.<p>

"_Jacob?!_"

"Happy birthday, Bells." His large, bulky form makes its way over to me and he lifts me up effortlessly. He squeezes me against his hard-as-rock pecs, whooshing the air out of my lungs. "It's so great to see you!" His chest vibrates against the side of my face, and I can hear the loud, steady beating of his heart.

For the first time in months, I'm wearing a true, genuine smile. "You, too," I groan out, using the last bit of oxygen I have left.

After Jake sets me down, I catch my breath and take in the sight around me. A "Happy Birthday" sign on the wall. Balloons. An Oreo ice cream cake sitting on center the coffee table.

"So, a birthday party, for me?"

"Yes. It's just a little gathering with all of us. I hope that's okay…?" Alice says tentatively, looking nervous.

"This is great. Thanks, you guys." I go around the room, hugging each person individually.

Curiosity nags at me once I'm done and I can't help but ask, "I take it Edward's not going to be here?"

A tense silence fills the room, uncomfortable glances being exchanged between my friends.

"No," Emmett finally answers, his voice somber. "Sorry, Bella."

"It's not your fault, Emmett. No worries. Just wanted to make sure."


End file.
